Unbiblical leader/elder

[missmuffet]

On 1/22/2020 at 2:13 AM, Wesley L said:

Hello everyone,

I try to keep this as compact as possible.

I attend our church for 2 years now. It is a small church with 30~40 believers only.
It is a bit different than usual, because we don't have our own pastors. Every week, another pastor from a different church comes and preaches the word of God. The good thing is that we get to hear the word through different pastors. We have clear guidelines for them to preach. For example this period we will do Romans. Starting with Romans 1, next week Romans 2, and so on.

The teachings are biblical. The way church members treat each other is sincere and true.
But there is one big problem in our church, somehow there is only 1 person in charge. He is the one who started to church 23years ago. But his ways are not the ways belonging to a true christian. (lack of sympathy, pride, focussing on rules, unforgiving) A total lack of fruit of the spirit.

This has been bothering me for months now. Because of my opinion, he is openly attacking me for not obeying certain rules in Church.
- wearing wrong clothes
- arriving late, disturbing the preaching. (Note that I arrived late because the moment before I was standing on the streets sharing the Gospel to passerby)
- disagreeing with him

In the beginning, I was quite angry at his loveless ways, which made me vulnerable to temptation. So, I was annoyed and wasn't able to focus on the main points and I did let my frustration disturb my way of speaking to him. I tried to let it rest and focus on the log in my own eye.

Now, last week he was poking again with his rules. Brothers and sisters in the church saw clearly that his actions were directed towards me.
It is not easy to choose to leave the church. As there are fellow brothers and sisters who are in christ.
Others, they had already given up on him, and they are actually ignoring him. 
But, the way I see it, he seems to be walking on the wide path throught the wide gate. Jesus told us to love, even our enemies. How could I pretend I don't see him? (thinking of the parable of the Samaritan) And the fact that he is the only elder making decisions in church, it affects the whole church.

We had a one on one meeting before. We had a meeting before including other church members. Now that he is still the same (and maybe worse) , I decided to write an open letter to him substantiated by scripture. Addressed to him, to be viewed by all members of the church. Advising him to turn back to Christ and that he should focus on our faith in Christ instead of us following his rules exactly. God told us to obey authority and elders. His rules are not the problem, his rules are correct. But he forgot the most important of them all, love God and love one another.

At this moment, I have to wait untill next weekend to see his reactions.
I do hope someday God will turn him back, that would be quite a testimony.

How do you see this situation?
How should a biblical leadership structure be within such a small congregation?
 

I think it is a very good idea that you wrote this letter. Keep this person in your prayers. Ask God for direction and guidance on dealing with him. I believe that a biblical leadership stucture should be with love and kindness. This person is not displaying the fruit of the spirit of the born again Christian. 

[Prycejosh1987]

On 1/22/2020 at 10:13 AM, Wesley L said:

Now, last week he was poking again with his rules. Brothers and sisters in the church saw clearly that his actions were directed towards me.
It is not easy to choose to leave the church. As there are fellow brothers and sisters who are in christ.

Focus on the relationship you have with God and not what the pastor thinks. What God thinks is most important and we should always be modest in appearance and in character.