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Need help, is this a sexual sin?


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I'm not very smart with the bible and I'm wanting to know what's appropriate and what's not. If a boyfriend and girlfriend makes out (to the point of temptation), and they keep making out, but stop right before something bad happens, is that considered a sin like lust? Is the temptation feeling along with continuing to kiss, but stopping before they give in, considered sinful? Just the thoughts alone, are they sinful for 2 Christians to indulge in, but stop right before they go to far? I'm sorry if this question is a little inappropriate but I really need to know this. I don't want to sin. Thank you, please be nice if you can

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6 hours ago, jesusistheway said:

I'm not very smart with the bible and I'm wanting to know what's appropriate and what's not. If a boyfriend and girlfriend makes out (to the point of temptation), and they keep making out, but stop right before something bad happens, is that considered a sin like lust? Is the temptation feeling along with continuing to kiss, but stopping before they give in, considered sinful? Just the thoughts alone, are they sinful for 2 Christians to indulge in, but stop right before they go to far? I'm sorry if this question is a little inappropriate but I really need to know this. I don't want to sin. Thank you, please be nice if you can

Temptation in itself it not a sin. When a Christian feels temptation it should put up a red flag. That comes from the Holy Spirit. A sin occurs when we mishandle temptation. 

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1 Corinthians 7 : 2 and Hebrews 13 : 4 teaches us that sex before marriage is part of the definition of sexual immorality. There are other passages that also teach that sex, outside of marriage between a man and a woman is committing sexual immorality.   All sexual activity is to be within the confines of marriage. The Bible promotes complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves. Waiting until marriage says that both of you are committed to building a strong and lasting relationship.   At this point, the best thing for you and the other person is to stop all sexual relations until after your married. Living under the same roof before marriage is NOT a good idea, because there is too much temptation for the two to have sexual relations. The ideal, is for the two of you to be living under different roofs till the day you are legally married.

1 Corinthians 7: 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.

Hebrews 13 : 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

 

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II Timothy 2:22 also has something to say on it: "Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

I'd also consider Galations 6:7-8. "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.  For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting."

Biblically speaking we're often called on to guard our thoughts, to think on good and pure things (Philippians 4:8), and to renew our minds (Romans 12:2). DDisconnect posted a really relevant verse. If a person is getting as close to the line as they can and hoping they won't cross it you can be sure they're thinking of crossing it. Even if the line isn't crossed going to the point of temptation invites the imagining to continue even after you go your separate ways of the the day. Put simply I feel that repeatedly, willingly, and knowingly trying to see how far you can go in any behavior that can lead to sin is sowing to the flesh. God knows our hearts. When asking these sorts of questions we need to examine ourselves. Do we ask so we know what's displeasing to God or are we looking for some sort of technicality to see how much we could get away with? If it's the latter our hearts are in the wrong place.

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12 hours ago, jesusistheway said:

I'm not very smart with the bible and I'm wanting to know what's appropriate and what's not. If a boyfriend and girlfriend makes out (to the point of temptation), and they keep making out, but stop right before something bad happens, is that considered a sin like lust? Is the temptation feeling along with continuing to kiss, but stopping before they give in, considered sinful? Just the thoughts alone, are they sinful for 2 Christians to indulge in, but stop right before they go to far? I'm sorry if this question is a little inappropriate but I really need to know this. I don't want to sin. Thank you, please be nice if you can

You're asking for trouble if you keep walking up to the brink. Sooner or later you will cross the line - the temptation will just keep getting more powerful.

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13 hours ago, jesusistheway said:

I'm sorry if this question is a little inappropriate but I really need to know this. I don't want to sin. Thank you, please be nice if you can

it's not an inappropriate question, but let me answer your question in a different way.      I think you are going to get a lot of different answers as more and more people come by...  Problem is that none of us really know you or the other person..   What's going on in your head or the other person's....   are you hugging and kissing with the thought of leading up to sex, or do you just want to cuddle and be close (my wife and I do that a lot).   You don't have to touch someone to lust after them, so you can be sinful without kissing at all...

 

Better than try to give you an answer to your question without knowing either of you, might I suggest that you both sit together, hold hands and either read the Bible to each other, or just listen to it together from mp3 files or the internet....      Then as you do that you will learn more about Jesus and let the Holy Spirit, who knows both of your hearts, teach you both Himself.

My wife and I have been married for 50 years this year and have several good friends who were married that same year long ago....    and I can tell you that the sex stuff will come and go throughout an entire marriage.....   there's plenty of time for that later....   what you need to be doing now is getting to know each other and talk talk talk.   Get to know each other's heart and mind for if you can't be happy with each other without sex, any marriage is doomed for sex will not keep people together for a lifetime...    getting caught up in the feelings of sexual desire cause a lot of people to make really bad choices in a lifetime soulmate.....    and remember that God tells us that we become one....    so make sure you want to be one with someone for a lifetime before starting down that road leading to sexual intimacy.

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Some good advice and scriptural support has been given above. By the tone of and wording of your question, I'm assuming you're somewhere around your teens possibly?

I'm not Dear Abby or qualified to council or give advice, but. The Lord gave us those natural desires for a reason and purpose. I'm sure many here would think to themselves, 'been there, done that'. I would think trying to avoid a place and time where things and desires could get out of control should be avoided. Thoughts and emotions pop into our heads like; I really love this guy or gal, well maybe only I'll go only this far? I think the key is to do everything possible that the temptation doesn't have the opportunity to present itself. 

It's natural to have those lusts and desires, the Apostle Paul even addresses them, that if one can't control the lusts and desires of the flesh, "get married" by all means [I'm paraphrasing]. If two people really love one another, they will respect each other and wait, doing the right thing and obeying the Lord.

The law of unintended consequences: All decisions and choices have consequences, sometimes for life and life altering. I'm not going to get graphic, but how well do you really know someone, really know them? Say for example a guy is dropping off his date at his girlfriends parents front door, and a brief peck on the lips is given good night. A week later a painful cold sore develops on the lips. Her mother takes her to the doctor's office and discovers it's 'herpes simplex'. As far as I know, this one example is life long with no cure. So there's also spiritual and physical concerns.

Just the thoughts of a very old man, who had the very same questions and thoughts as you when he was a young whipper snapper :D 

Edited by Dennis1209
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In the 1800's a woman had to have another woman for a chaparone whenever she was alone with a man. I think that is a really good idea :)

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On 3/6/2020 at 7:29 PM, jesusistheway said:

I'm wanting to know what's appropriate and what's not. If a boyfriend and girlfriend makes out (to the point of temptation), and they keep making out, but stop right before something bad happens, is that considered a sin like lust?

Hi, is that possible, making out without lusting? Isn't that the hole point of making out? The question you ask is it's own answer. For making out is defined as engaging non penetrative sex acts. Making out's father is lust.

Having affection, even physical expression of affection might not be making out, but the sense of the question is how far can I go in a make out session and not be sinful. I don't see how anyone can.

To love does not require the lusting for making out. Love need not even be reciprocated. It can be the strength to avoid lusting  to make out.

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