I dont think Im saved.

[Marathoner]

Don't fret, @Figure of eighty. You're not facing something we haven't struggled with ourselves. Remember what I wrote to you before: the Lord isn't found in our feelings. These are uniquely our own and as others point out, they're subject to change. The Lord, on the other hand, is eternal and never changes.

Allow me to offer encouragement: I spent many years believing that the Lord despised me, too. Feelings can be capricious since they spring from this flesh which is perishable and subject to corruption. Look to Jesus Christ and trust in His work within you... patience leads to endurance, and endurance teaches us what it means to be long-suffering. The Son of God is faithful and true, sister. Seize upon His promises and don't let them go!    

[Willa]

8 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Ive been reading how people who get saved feel an instant change or their desire for sin is diminished. 

Also they grow and change ... Meanwhile its always stop and go with me. Something or someone enters my life and it shakes things up or My silent/one sided relationship with God gets too painfully quiet to continue and I just stop. 

 

Idk I never experienced those chsnges others talked about. Maybe Im a "normal" christian or not one at all. 

 

 

I goy baptized and filled with his spirit( well my brother who was a minister helped me) so idk if I need the Holy Spirit or if I still have it. 

 

Idk what to do. 

 

I feel like having a pastor or someone fill my with Gods spirit. That way maybe i wont struggle so much. 

 

Idk 

88, We are to keep on being filled with the Holy Spirit, according to the Greek tense of the verb.   That is wordy and not as poetic so King James didn't translate it as correctly as they could have.  However, all you have to do is to humble yourself, draw near to God and He will draw near to you.  He has promised to give you His Spirit and keep giving Him to you, as though He were an artesian well pouring forth rivers of Living Water.  He wants that for you more than You do.  Perhaps you are seeking an experience or a feeling but are not seeking the Living God.  Seek God's face willing to do His will, whatever it may be.  He gives us His Spirit to empower us to witness for Him and to be able to do His will.

[AnOrangeCat]

14 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Ive been reading how people who get saved feel an instant change or their desire for sin is diminished. 

Also they grow and change ... Meanwhile its always stop and go with me. Something or someone enters my life and it shakes things up or My silent/one sided relationship with God gets too painfully quiet to continue and I just stop. 

 

Idk I never experienced those chsnges others talked about. Maybe Im a "normal" christian or not one at all. 

 

 

I goy baptized and filled with his spirit( well my brother who was a minister helped me) so idk if I need the Holy Spirit or if I still have it. 

 

Idk what to do. 

 

I feel like having a pastor or someone fill my with Gods spirit. That way maybe i wont struggle so much. 

 

Idk 

Others have addressed the matter of salvation, so I'll just add this.

In Romans 7 Paul talks about sin and the conflict within us that makes it a struggle to do God's will. The whole chapter is worth reading and taking to heart regarding your situation, but I'd say the crux of it is in these verses.

^"I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:  But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members."

It really echoes something Jesus said: "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

[Coliseum]

16 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Ive been reading how people who get saved feel an instant change or their desire for sin is diminished. 

Also they grow and change ... Meanwhile its always stop and go with me. Something or someone enters my life and it shakes things up or My silent/one sided relationship with God gets too painfully quiet to continue and I just stop. 

 

Idk I never experienced those chsnges others talked about. Maybe Im a "normal" christian or not one at all. 

 

 

I goy baptized and filled with his spirit( well my brother who was a minister helped me) so idk if I need the Holy Spirit or if I still have it. 

 

Idk what to do. 

 

I feel like having a pastor or someone fill my with Gods spirit. That way maybe i wont struggle so much. 

 

Idk 

When we accept and receive Christ, it is a done deal. God's Spirit enters you. Jesus puts his Robe of Righteousness around you---always---even on your worst day! You are sealed, bought, and paid for by Christ himself who died for you on that old, rugged cross. All you must do is believe it.

[David1701]

16 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

See i feel i sinned way less before i was saved. I feel i do it more now and my love for God is strong its like a tiny flickering flame. I keep feeling like he doesnt want me to be happy

You might feel that you sinned much less, before you were saved; but this could be a sign that you are saved and are simply more sensitive to sin now.

If you are saved, then God does want you to be happy.  The joy of the Lord is our strength.  The trouble is that we often seek our happiness in circumstances, rather than in fellowship with the Lord.  Praising and thanking him, in all circumstances, often helps.

[David1701]

13 hours ago, Fidei Defensor said:

How to know you are saved:,

“9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.” (Romans 10:9-10) 

If you have confesses with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in Him in your heart you are saved. 

You keep wanting to sin because of what The Apostle Paul said: 

“15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.
17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.
19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.
22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being,
23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.
24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?
25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.” (Romans 7:15-25)

The quote from Romans 7 is about a Christian trying to live by law-keeping - and finding that it doesn't work.

Romans 8 shows the way to what should be the normal Christian experience.

Romans 8:1-4 (VW)

1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
2 For the Law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death.
3 For what the Law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh; and on account of sin, He condemned sin in the flesh,
4 that the righteous requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

The righteous requirement (singular) of the Law is love.

Edited August 12, 2020 by David1701

[Dennis1209]

16 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Ive been reading how people who get saved feel an instant change or their desire for sin is diminished. 

Also they grow and change ... Meanwhile its always stop and go with me. Something or someone enters my life and it shakes things up or My silent/one sided relationship with God gets too painfully quiet to continue and I just stop. 

 

Idk I never experienced those chsnges others talked about. Maybe Im a "normal" christian or not one at all. 

 

 

I goy baptized and filled with his spirit( well my brother who was a minister helped me) so idk if I need the Holy Spirit or if I still have it. 

 

Idk what to do. 

 

I feel like having a pastor or someone fill my with Gods spirit. That way maybe i wont struggle so much. 

 

Idk 

Good morning,

It sounds like we share in the same struggles, and I'd like to biblically reason this is normal for many Christians. Self examination: I personally have a very difficult time honestly doing a self evaluation of my inner real self. I think and wonder; am I being honest with myself, do I know myself, am I lying to myself, is it only wishful thinking on my part, do I really believe it or not, how do I know if I'm being honest even with my own self? Self deception is a BIG topic in the word of God.

It's a very long story, when I asked the Lord into my life, confessed my sins and asked forgiveness and eternal life to be with Him; there was an immediate hard to explain relief, peace and joy that entered me. Over time conflict and doubt started to arise about if I was truly saved or not, am I deceiving myself again, am I truly a born again and a child of God? The devil and his minions come to make a Christians life miserable, plant seeds of doubt, deceive, rob and destroy. I can say by fact and certainty I'm much more aware of sin and do my very best to avoid it. Recent example:

Someone lost a cheap little rubber cover for a small optic, someone found it and placed it on the sign in / out sheet for the rightful owner to find and retrieve. I went to sign out and saw this cheap item. I have the very same item and thought to myself; I was just here the other day with it, was I careless as usual and left it here? I grabbed it and took it thinking it was possible, but I didn't think so, but just to be sure? Got home and sure enough, mine was still on the optic in the safe. Well my mind said, ah no big deal, it's only worth a few bucks, I'll just hang on to it for a spare. Then immediately my thought was countered, no that's intentional theft and a sin, my mind [Holy Spirit] automatically brought it up and convicted me of it. What to do? I could have drove back and placed it back where I found it. Long story short, I sent out an email inquiring about anyone who lost it and why I picked it up and have it. I got a response from the rightful owner and returned it and he was great-full. Prior to my conversion, I wouldn't have even given something like that a second thought. A saved person is much more sensitive of sin, doesn't want to sin, is ashamed of sin and tries to avoid it. That's one less burden and shame I have to carry around with me; I was made mentally aware of the wrong, made it right, confessed it and put it under the blood of Christ and move forward. 

A saved persons desire is to be like Jesus and lead a righteous life [doing the right thing] and knowing and following the moral absolutes and in love. It's only five chapters long, and I might sum it up as a questions and answers test about ones personal security and Salvation [1 John].

Why would a lost person care about eternal Salvation? Why would an unsaved person be aware, concerned and cognizant of sin, or even care? The Lord knew ahead of time that we would have questions and doubts about our eternal security and answered our doubts and questions.

1 John 5:13 (KJV) These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God. [emphasis mine]

Ephesians 6:12 (KJV) For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Ephesians 6:11 (KJV) Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

 

[JohnD]

Feelings are great. But they don't matter when all that counts are the facts.

You have not entered a spiritual sprint but an eternal marathon. You are going to have 

times when you feel saved and other times when you don't. You will have spiritual mountain top

highs and physical / emotional valley bottom lows.

That's what they call life, Margaret...  ← which is just an expression, not that' I'm calling you Margaret...

Remember, as a saved believer, you are in an alien environment in this world. Your citizenship is now in heaven. 

So there will be times when being here "behind enemy lines" will get to you as it does to us all from time to time.

The fact that you are concerned tells you that you have the unction of the Holy Spirit in you. Otherwise, you wouldn't

notice or care if you noticed. There is a part of you that is no longer at home in this world.

And the only baptism that counts is the baptism of the Holy Spirit administered by the Lord Jesus Christ (Matthew 3:11).

His death on the cross is his administering of the baptism of salvation.

The Holy Spirit we are baptized with is faith / belief in the Lord Jesus Christ (Matthew 3:11).

Even that faith / belief is not of ourselves but is the gift of God (Ephesians 2:8).

Once we are saved we are his property. His children. Staying saved is in their hands (the Father and the Son) John 10:28-29.

You cannot sin your way out of salvation (1 Corinthians 5:5) ← note God will turn you over to Satan for the destruction of the body so this is not

the license to sin some foolishly believe it is... because Satan hates you and me and all believers as much as he hates God. So it will be no rapturous event to be sure.

You cannot walk away from salvation (Jeremiah 32:40 / 1 John 2:19) ← if one does walk away, they were never saved in the first place.

So, cheer up. Trust God. He never fails.

[JohnD]

If you are uncertain you actually believe in the genuine Jesus (and with the thousands if not millions of counterfeits out there... this is entirely possible)

then here's the Keys to the Kingdom in Bible interpretation which is the only way to verify we believe in the one and only Jesus Christ:

We are to know this first. Because it by doing so we follow the True Bible Authority (the Holy Spirit who wrote the Bible).

How eternally sad it will be for most who only took another human being's word for it when they come to the day of judgment 

only to find they followed the wrong Jesus, the Jesus and Gospel and Spirit of Satan's deception / man's invention.

Matthew 7:21–23 (AV)
21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father** which is in heaven.
22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

** John 6:29 (AV)
29 Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent.

Believe! That's all it's ever really been about.

Believe in the actual one God sent... not some counterfeit version. 

There is nothing in life we should be more certain of than that we believe in the actual Jesus Christ... and no man's word, no denominations teaching no scholar or theologian should be the authority on the subject other than the Holy Spirit interpreted / Bible validated proof of scripture. 

[Marathoner]

I'm greatly encouraged for your sake, @Figure of eighty. I was in my mid-twenties when I was baptized, having received the Gospel from a precious brother whom the Lord sent me to. I was added to his fellowship and for a time life was like the most wonderful dream. An elder took me under his wing and taught me how to work with my hands, introducing me to modern power tools as well as their old-fashioned counterparts. He was a blacksmith to boot and so I was his assistant at the forge, helping him fashion iron implements. I was unattached so I dedicated my days to looking after the needs of widows, single parents, and anyone who could use a strong back and helping hand. Yes, life was a dream.

Until I became aware of this corrupt flesh whereupon that dream turned into a nightmare. I was such a wretched man! It overwhelmed me much like what you're going through right now. It seemed like all I could do was stumble so I understand what you mean by "it seems like I sin more than I did before." I was consumed by shame and so I fled from the fellowship, leaving the dream which Christ Jesus placed into my hands. What happened?

My gaze left the Lord and turned inward. Yes, this flesh is wretched. This is the revelation of God's Spirit, sister. If you weren't in His hand then you wouldn't be aware of it.