Salvation Anxiety Question

[F_Ivan]

Hi,

I've been struggling with assurance of salvation for quite a while now. I don't know if i'm struggling with it due to mental health (diagnosed with "Severe OCD" and also have a personality of being worrisome and very insecure) or if it's because my theology is bad (had a bit of a works theology hybrid going on where I think you mantained your salvation through your efforts) or if its because Im actually not really saved. 

Last year I made up my mind that I wanted to commit my life to Jesus and I said the sinners prayer with a pastor, I was sincere and honest with my prayer, and in my desire to be with Christ. The only negative I can really pull out of that experience was I had some fearful doubts if the prayer would work in the back of my head incase I messed something up. I believe my pastor explained to me what salvation really was and I'm pretty sure I felt God's presence after the prayer and during my baptism. 

I guess my only doubt is if I truly understood how salvation worked when I said the prayer? I dont remember exactly if I understood salvation was a one time thing by God's grace alone, or if I thought it was a works based thing. I've said the prayer many times afterwards believing I would be saved by God's grace and my sincerity through the prayer. So I should be good right? I think maybe I havent realized that im also kept saved by gods grace because for a while i believed that even though salvation was by grace, that i kept my salvation through my own works. Maybe that's the whole issue? Should I just continue to keep on believing in God's grace alone and get closer to God and then let God's closeness reassure me? 

Edited August 30, 2020 by F_Ivan

[Who me]

27 minutes ago, F_Ivan said:

believing I would be saved by God's grace and my sincerity through the prayer. So I should be good right?

Salvation is all of God, he has given you the grace and the faith to believe. As eph 2:8+9 says.

 

Jesus told us if we love him we will obey him and that is where good works come in.

Not to earn salvation, but as a demonstration of our obedience and love for Jesus.

 

[Deborah_]

Hi there

Lots of people have doubts about the reality of their salvation from time to time, but having OCD and an anxious personality type will make you more susceptible to doubt.

You have a definite occasion to look back to when you prayed to God and asked for salvation. That should help - but don't worry over whether you "messed up" the sinners prayer. The form of words is pretty irrelevant. Thousands of people become Christians without ever saying the sinners prayer at all! It isn't necessary to understand everything either; I certainly didn't. Following Jesus is the crucial issue.

The real test of your salvation is whether the Holy Spirit is at work in you. Have you noticed a difference - any difference - over the last year? Not necessarily anything dramatic - one of the first things that I noticed after my conversion was that I started to enjoy reading the Bible and singing hymns.

And another thing... if you haven't been baptised, make arrangements to get baptised as soon as possible (I appreciate that Covid-19 restrictions may have made this impossible during the last few months). Baptism is a declaration of faith, but it does also help to strengthen your faith.

Edited August 30, 2020 by Deborah_

[missmuffet]

11 hours ago, F_Ivan said:

Hi,

I've been struggling with assurance of salvation for quite a while now. I don't know if i'm struggling with it due to mental health (diagnosed with "Severe OCD" and also have a personality of being worrisome and very insecure) or if it's because my theology is bad (had a bit of a works theology hybrid going on where I think you mantained your salvation through your efforts) or if its because Im actually not really saved. 

Last year I made up my mind that I wanted to commit my life to Jesus and I said the sinners prayer with a pastor, I was sincere and honest with my prayer, and in my desire to be with Christ. The only negative I can really pull out of that experience was I had some fearful doubts if the prayer would work in the back of my head incase I messed something up. I believe my pastor explained to me what salvation really was and I'm pretty sure I felt God's presence after the prayer and during my baptism. 

I guess my only doubt is if I truly understood how salvation worked when I said the prayer? I dont remember exactly if I understood salvation was a one time thing by God's grace alone, or if I thought it was a works based thing. I've said the prayer many times afterwards believing I would be saved by God's grace and my sincerity through the prayer. So I should be good right? I think maybe I havent realized that im also kept saved by gods grace because for a while i believed that even though salvation was by grace, that i kept my salvation through my own works. Maybe that's the whole issue? Should I just continue to keep on believing in God's grace alone and get closer to God and then let God's closeness reassure me? 

OCD is the doubting disorder. You know the facts of what the Bible tells us....right? Then go with that and throw away the doubt. 

[F_Ivan]

11 hours ago, Deborah_ said:

Hi there

Lots of people have doubts about the reality of their salvation from time to time, but having OCD and an anxious personality type will make you more susceptible to doubt.

You have a definite occasion to look back to when you prayed to God and asked for salvation. That should help - but don't worry over whether you "messed up" the sinners prayer. The form of words is pretty irrelevant. Thousands of people become Christians without ever saying the sinners prayer at all! It isn't necessary to understand everything either; I certainly didn't. Following Jesus is the crucial issue.

The real test of your salvation is whether the Holy Spirit is at work in you. Have you noticed a difference - any difference - over the last year? Not necessarily anything dramatic - one of the first things that I noticed after my conversion was that I started to enjoy reading the Bible and singing hymns.

And another thing... if you haven't been baptised, make arrangements to get baptised as soon as possible (I appreciate that Covid-19 restrictions may have made this impossible during the last few months). Baptism is a declaration of faith, but it does also help to strengthen your faith.

There is a difference but I've also been trying to change by consciously throwing sin out of my life (repenting of sin to purify myself) so its hard to tell what is of god and whats me. One of the first differences I noticed was I hate horror movies now. I was watching this horror movie before I got converted and I saw it no problem, then after I got converted I couldnt bare to watch it and had to shut it off. thing is i went back to looking at gory things after unfortunately (now dont do it anymore) so i guess you could say theres some change. I have felt God's presence before

 

[Deborah_]

1 minute ago, F_Ivan said:

There is a difference but I've also been trying to change by consciously throwing sin out of my life (repenting of sin to purify myself) so its hard to tell what is of god and whats me. One of the first differences I noticed was I hate horror movies now. I was watching this horror movie before I got converted and I saw it no problem, then after I got converted I couldnt bare to watch it and had to shut it off. thing is i went back to looking at gory things after unfortunately (now dont do it anymore) so i guess you could say theres some change. I have felt God's presence before

 

That sounds evidence enough to me!

Sanctification IS a combination of the Holy Spirit and you, working together to remove sin from your life. And yes, most/all of us have relapses now and again... but over a long period of time we do see progress.