God helped me in my time of suffering...

[faithfull-prophet4040]

I finally got something to eat, iv only had a few salad's in the past 3 day's, and also got a piece of suboxone, which is one of the 3 sin's i still do, but haven't been able to find any in like 2 week's and so have been withdrawing. And WOW eating and not feeling like i'm starving feel's amazing. I can only imagine what it feel's like for them poor children, AND adult's, that go day's without food period. Also i feel that God has told me in a few different way's that he want's me to quit the suboxone BUT, if i need it to get through these rough time's he will allow me to do them to help until thing's get a little easier. I do however know for a fact he does not want me smoking cigarettes. And for those that don't know what suboxone is, it's a drug that fills opiate receptor's to stop withdrawl's from happening from opioids, yet doesn't cause a high per say... It doesn't cause a high, rather just make's, for me at least, make's me feel like thing's are okay, and I don't crave drug's when i'm on it. It help's me tremendously, but sadly I will eventually have to stop taking them also like i have all other drug's, because they are a drug regardless if they cause a mind altering high or not, so that make's them a sin (because it's a man made drug) (and a drug period). I posted a post about giving up a few hour's ago, but after getting this piece of suboxone and mainly from getting food, I feel like i can make it through, I do know I will have them time's later in the future that i feel like giving up, and it could even happen tomorrow for that matter. But I know God is alway's watching over me waiting for me to be his child fully and completely, and when the day come's ill be glad i ever gave up... Which i also have been told from God in a few different way's what i just wrote (That if I don't give up in time ill be glad i never did.) TY everybody for all the time's people respond to my post's I am very greatfull truly... It's as if God has givin me more than i can handle BUT, as i got to that point of wanting to give up he came through for me, and in some way, some how has gave, and gives me strength to endure and not give up... I say this because last night I prayed, I said (God in Heaven Loving Father God Almighty, I know your word say's if someone prays and it's according to your will, and they believe it will come to pass it shall be givin. Then I said, I know this isn't according to your will but please, and I began breaking down in tear's, and said please Father in Heaven please some how, some way, let me find a piece of suboxone, I truly need it, and will TRULY help.) The next day (today) Someone came over, and said (I got a piece of suboxone for you here you go.) plus like I said I was out of food, and was very weak because of it, and that same person that brought the piece said (here's some food i got for you also, i knew you were out so here you go.) I was about to give up truly, and God once again pulled me out of my suffering.

[LearningToLetGo]

Andrew, I am glad you are feeling better. Withdrawal symptoms are horrible. I had an uncle who was addicted to heroin for twenty years. His last twenty were sober, relatively speaking (no heroin but methadone and lots of alcohol), but the cravings were always there. Believe me, I don't wish that on anyone. I'm praying for you. You can get through this with God's help. 

-Jason

[R. Hartono]

On 6/17/2021 at 7:46 AM, faithfull-prophet4040 said:

I finally got something to eat, iv only had a few salad's in the past 3 day's, and also got a piece of suboxone, which is one of the 3 sin's i still do, but haven't been able to find any in like 2 week's and so have been withdrawing. And WOW eating and not feeling like i'm starving feel's amazing. I can only imagine what it feel's like for them poor children, AND adult's, that go day's without food period. Also i feel that God has told me in a few different way's that he want's me to quit the suboxone BUT, if i need it to get through these rough time's he will allow me to do them to help until thing's get a little easier. I do however know for a fact he does not want me smoking cigarettes. And for those that don't know what suboxone is, it's a drug that fills opiate receptor's to stop withdrawl's from happening from opioids, yet doesn't cause a high per say... It doesn't cause a high, rather just make's, for me at least, make's me feel like thing's are okay, and I don't crave drug's when i'm on it. It help's me tremendously, but sadly I will eventually have to stop taking them also like i have all other drug's, because they are a drug regardless if they cause a mind altering high or not, so that make's them a sin (because it's a man made drug) (and a drug period). I posted a post about giving up a few hour's ago, but after getting this piece of suboxone and mainly from getting food, I feel like i can make it through, I do know I will have them time's later in the future that i feel like giving up, and it could even happen tomorrow for that matter. But I know God is alway's watching over me waiting for me to be his child fully and completely, and when the day come's ill be glad i ever gave up... Which i also have been told from God in a few different way's what i just wrote (That if I don't give up in time ill be glad i never did.) TY everybody for all the time's people respond to my post's I am very greatfull truly... It's as if God has givin me more than i can handle BUT, as i got to that point of wanting to give up he came through for me, and in some way, some how has gave, and gives me strength to endure and not give up... I say this because last night I prayed, I said (God in Heaven Loving Father God Almighty, I know your word say's if someone prays and it's according to your will, and they believe it will come to pass it shall be givin. Then I said, I know this isn't according to your will but please, and I began breaking down in tear's, and said please Father in Heaven please some how, some way, let me find a piece of suboxone, I truly need it, and will TRULY help.) The next day (today) Someone came over, and said (I got a piece of suboxone for you here you go.) plus like I said I was out of food, and was very weak because of it, and that same person that brought the piece said (here's some food i got for you also, i knew you were out so here you go.) I was about to give up truly, and God once again pulled me out of my suffering.

Don't be a burden to ur family n to urself.

I think u hv a fair home to sustain u now but it wont last forever n every body needs to stand on their feet to make a living n take care of parents. Just wake up n stop seeking escape from reality in lust for drug or smoking.

 

[faithfull-prophet4040]

On 6/26/2021 at 9:49 PM, R. Hartono said:

Don't be a burden to ur family n to urself.

I think u hv a fair home to sustain u now but it wont last forever n every body needs to stand on their feet to make a living n take care of parents. Just wake up n stop seeking escape from reality in lust for drug or smoking.

 

I don't understand your statement, how am i a burden to my family, and my self, which if I may add most of my family is gone. for two for all you know i'm living homeless, using a coffee shop to get on this site, i'm not homeless but for you to say you think I have a fair home to sustain me, you have no idea of that so how can you even say them word's? And where does taking care of parent's come from? I get the last part about stop seeking escape, but if you only knew my suffering, you would know that I don't seek to escape reality. I seek to not be in excruciating pain from the bone disease I have, and seek to not feel the deep deep sadness I handle everyday from all the trauma iv endured, and seek to not feel fear everyday from constant panic attack's... That's why I take drug's, Not to escape reality. Plus as for drug's, the only TRUE drug's I do is (suboxone), and (klonipin). which is a drug  (the suboxone is) and causes a sort of happiness and relieves pain, BUT it doesn't cause a high as vicodin, oxicodone or other opiod's or drug's would cause). It is  a drug to get people off of drug's. Also i'm (prescribed) the benzo (klonopin) if that's the drug your talking about. I would like to say without it I have major panic attack's all day, non stop, they never go away, that may be due to being addicted to them, but I don't take them for a high to escape reality, I take them as prescribed, strictly for panic attack's. After i read it more a few tiome's i get your just saying there's parent's to take care of we cant be o drug's or addicted to drug's and do that or (stop being a burden) as in stop doing drugs and causing heartache on family, is the only thing I could have gotten from you writing what you wrote. But i'm no burden on my family that's left,  because of drug use. I'm not so addicted i'm causing pain for others around me. I just am addicted to the point where I find it really hard to stop.

[R. Hartono]

On 7/2/2021 at 5:08 AM, faithfull-prophet4040 said:

I don't understand your statement, how am i a burden to my family, and my self, which if I may add most of my family is gone. for two for all you know i'm living homeless, using a coffee shop to get on this site, i'm not homeless but for you to say you think I have a fair home to sustain me, you have no idea of that so how can you even say them word's? And where does taking care of parent's come from? I get the last part about stop seeking escape, but if you only knew my suffering, you would know that I don't seek to escape reality. I seek to not be in excruciating pain from the bone disease I have, and seek to not feel the deep deep sadness I handle everyday from all the trauma iv endured, and seek to not feel fear everyday from constant panic attack's... That's why I take drug's, Not to escape reality. Plus as for drug's, the only TRUE drug's I do is (suboxone), and (klonipin). which is a drug  (the suboxone is) and causes a sort of happiness and relieves pain, BUT it doesn't cause a high as vicodin, oxicodone or other opiod's or drug's would cause). It is  a drug to get people off of drug's. Also i'm (prescribed) the benzo (klonopin) if that's the drug your talking about. I would like to say without it I have major panic attack's all day, non stop, they never go away, that may be due to being addicted to them, but I don't take them for a high to escape reality, I take them as prescribed, strictly for panic attack's. After i read it more a few tiome's i get your just saying there's parent's to take care of we cant be o drug's or addicted to drug's and do that or (stop being a burden) as in stop doing drugs and causing heartache on family, is the only thing I could have gotten from you writing what you wrote. But i'm no burden on my family that's left,  because of drug use. I'm not so addicted i'm causing pain for others around me. I just am addicted to the point where I find it really hard to stop.

Sorry,

How do u finance urself to buy drugs.?

[faithfull-prophet4040]

On 7/2/2021 at 5:26 PM, R. Hartono said:

Sorry,

How do u finance urself to buy drugs.?

I have someone that's close to me close as in like a family member close, they arent family persay, and they find me them or give me them for half of the price. Also I usually don't have any, I lately have only payed $45 l's on suboxone, getting enough for 4 doses and that's been through the whole month, and the klonopin i'm prescribed. Thank you for saying sorry. I only get $750 a month, that's not much, I am very thankful to have it, but the job I do, pay's little, it's not an actuall job so they don't have to pay minmum wage , and because of my panic attacks  I cannot work other job's. Believe me, iv tried 5 different times, with 5 different job's, and none of them work out, because i get so panicky, that I mess up everything, even on the anxiety med. And have found what I do now is the only job I can do. It's working from home. And so i don't have much to sustain myself i have to pay for cigarette's $50  ever two weeks or more, toilet paper and pay my rent which is $500. and so i'm left with little money to buy thing's but just enough to get through i don't have too much or too little and i'm conten,t but don't have what you would call a fair home to sustain me i live in a mall apartment with the nighbor's constantly making loud noise and playing loud rap music which if i may add i can't stand rap. Anyway's i don't make much per month and ussually dont buy that many suboxone.



Sincerely: Andrew

P.S. I apologize if there's any misspelled word's or lack of grammar I didn't reread the message fully just skimmed it

[R. Hartono]

3 hours ago, faithfull-prophet4040 said:

I have someone that's close to me close as in like a family member close, they arent family persay, and they find me them or give me them for half of the price. Also I usually don't have any, I lately have only payed $45 l's on suboxone, getting enough for 4 doses and that's been through the whole month, and the klonopin i'm prescribed. Thank you for saying sorry. I only get $750 a month, that's not much, I am very thankful to have it, but the job I do, pay's little, it's not an actuall job so they don't have to pay minmum wage , and because of my panic attacks  I cannot work other job's. Believe me, iv tried 5 different times, with 5 different job's, and none of them work out, because i get so panicky, that I mess up everything, even on the anxiety med. And have found what I do now is the only job I can do. It's working from home. And so i don't have much to sustain myself i have to pay for cigarette's $50  ever two weeks or more, toilet paper and pay my rent which is $500. and so i'm left with little money to buy thing's but just enough to get through i don't have too much or too little and i'm conten,t but don't have what you would call a fair home to sustain me i live in a mall apartment with the nighbor's constantly making loud noise and playing loud rap music which if i may add i can't stand rap. Anyway's i don't make much per month and ussually dont buy that many suboxone.



Sincerely: Andrew

P.S. I apologize if there's any misspelled word's or lack of grammar I didn't reread the message fully just skimmed it

Do u rcv help from social care Department ?

[Kenny'sID]

What does your doctor recommend you do about the pain from the bone disease?

[faithfull-prophet4040]

9 hours ago, Kenny'sID said:

What does your doctor recommend you do about the pain from the bone disease?

She recomend's I take warm shower's, and do stretches. Even though it isn't a muscle issue she said, she also said that get my muscles relaxed will help with the bone pain.

[Kenny'sID]

32 minutes ago, faithfull-prophet4040 said:

She recomend's I take warm shower's, and do stretches. Even though it isn't a muscle issue she said, she also said that get my muscles relaxed will help with the bone pain.

I see. I guess I was concerned and trying to understand about you saying you are taking the medication for you bone disease pain, yet you are trying to stop the medication. Do you just prefer not to take narcotics for your condition?