How much can a Pastor say to his wife

[Iryssa]

Another thing, we are never in a room with a closed door..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know...and I didn't mean to imply that you were...I was just trying to give an example that would make my point. I suppose I should've been more specific about that. Sorry...

[DaniJ87]

I would say that pastors are called to be trustworthy and keep things confidential. If a female needs counseling, they should (if at all possible) seek counseling from a trusted female in the church. It is not healthy for the pastor's testimony, or for the female's testimony, for them to be alone. Letters should be kept confidential, unless they prove to contain information that needs to be dealt with (drugs, etc) To safeguard those individuals involved, it may also be wise to find a churchmember who is trusted not to gossip, and have them review the letters from time to time, so that there is protection for the pastor and individual, that nobody can suspect dishonorable things going on. Face-to-face meetings should not occur in private, but rather you should either have the door open on the counselling room, or, find someone you trust to be present at the meeting... (it could even be a deaf old woman, if you are afraid to let someone else know what's going on )

About the other problem, with church membership:

I m also a Baptist, (I think I'm technically a "fundamental baptist"... but whatever) and at my church, there are also rules about church membership and participation.

Don't think of joining a church as limiting, but rather as expanding, because in effect, joining a church identifies you with Christ, as opposed to just being a visitor everywhere.

Also to note, there are different Baptist churches... even under the label "Fundamental Baptist Church" there are those who have rules against doing anything with playing cards, wearing pants... etc... and there are those who don't. I used to go to a church that sent the message, without anything actually spoken, that anyone who goes to a "secular" state school was out of God's will.

If you are looking for a new church, be sure to take into consideration not only whether you like how the pastor sounds, but also what kind of shepherd he is. If he only ministers on Sundays, you need to look elsewhere. A good pastor will keep in contact with the members, and minister to the people in the church.

If you want to make sure that you and the pastor understand each other, meet with the pastor for a discussion of what you believe.

~Danette