My foster daughter is leaving...

[Guest ship]

My 7 year old foster daughter was assigned to live with my wife and I about four months ago. My wife and I bonded with her very quickly. We taught her who God is, we bought her her first bible and we taught her how to pray. She's only been staying with us for four months, but it seems like so much longer. I love her like she's my own daughter, and we wanted to adopt her since the first week she's been with us.

She was taken by the state from her bio-parents because they were on crack and heroin. Because they spent their money on drugs and couldn't afford rent. Because they didn't provide food for their children, nor clean clothing. Because they were involved in prostitution and 3-way sex. Because there children witnessed them having sex, and because the children got their hands on the porno vhs tapes. Because the children were physically abused and taught to lie for their parents. And there is more that is just too disgusting to mention.

Now, after about 16 months of the children being in foster care, the father hasn't passed the drug tests because he's "afraid to pee in front of people". But the mother has been tested and proven to be off heroin for three months in a row. So, apparently three months in a row is enough for the judge to start the process of returning the children to the bio-parents. I would have never thought a judge would return them after all that is on the parent's record. Technically it's not certain that the children will return to the bio-parents, but the foster workers say that whenever a judge makes a ruling such as this that the children always return after the judges specified time frame, which in this case is six weeks. We were told that even though the mother has been "high" during visits with state workers, it doesn't matter. We were told specifically by the state that her doing drugs does not matter as far as her children are concerned, just as long as her children are asleep and don't witness it. It seems unreal that such a thing could be the truth. I feel as though I'm imagining it, but that is what we are told by the state. We were not told this by a stubborn state worker, but by state workers who side with us. They apparently know how the judges rule, and know that drugs don't matter to the judges, just as long as the children aren't directly affected by the drugs. The bio-father now has a decent paying job, so his drug use isn't relevant as far as the judges are concerned. Our foster daughter sleep-walks. What happens when the parents are high and she sleep walks? Do we just hope that she is too asleep to remember?

Honestly, I don't dislike the bio-parents. I really don't and never did. I pray that they get better. I'm not at all frustrated at them because, drugs included, it would seem natural that a parent would try and get his/her children back. But I am just so confused by and very very frustrated at the state, and the judge/s assigned by the state. Why would they choose things to turn out this way?

I feel so distraught. I know God has a plan, but I hope it includes our foster daughter turning to Him eventually.

[ayin jade]

Ship, Im sorry to hear about all of this. We have many prayer warriors on this site. Please consider posting this in prayer requests. They will pray for you there. Until then, I will pray for you as well. May the good Lord watch over them.

[ayin jade]

Bumping up.

I didnt want this to get lost by the activity this morning.

[Work in Progress]

Ship, I'm so sorry. My heart hurts for you. I don't mean to sound corny or patronizing, but you and your wife must be incredible people to do what you do. And the fact that you are not angry with the parents and are seeing their side as to wanting their children back - wow. You are an inspiration.

I don't blame you for being frustrated with the system. How ridiculous that all it takes, after that kind of mess they created, is three months drug free.

May God richly bless you and your little one as she goes back. Pray over her, and put her in God's hands. He will keep what He has started, He promises. Will you be able to keep in touch with her?

[Avodah]

My friends had over 400 children come thru their home, and they went through the same thing. They shared Jesus with them and then prayed for everyone of them as they were sent back home. There were many tears shed in that home.

you and your wife must be incredible people to do what you do.

I agree!

I will be praying for you!!

[Guest ship]

Thank you for your responses and prayers.

400 foster children, wow! I would burn out before I ever bonded with and then had to part with that many children. We've only had 3 so far, and I'm already feeling like I can't do this again. Maybe we'll do pre-adoptive foster care in the future, so that the chances of them being taken away from us aren't so great. Though it would also mean a very limited number of children would come into our care, being that the goal in staying with us would be adoption.

I'm sorry for having burdened everyone with what's going on here, but I do feel better having written about it. And I very much appreciate the prayers and compassion.

There is a small update. We found out today that the parents are BOTH required to take and pass two drug tests a week for the next six weeks.

[ayin jade]

Thank you for the update. That sounds promising, that both parents must pass the testing. God bless you for helping the girl.