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What in your opinion should be the right response?


SIC

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In your opinion if a believer you know well gets engaged to an unbeliever what should be the right response? 

I am personally of the opinion that the right response would be to show the believer those verses in the bible that speak against marrying an unbeliever and then pray for God to change their heart. After all God's word has power mine don't. 

Some others in church believe that would be 'hitting them on their head with the bible'. 

What do you all think is the best way to respond to a believer you know well getting engaged to an unbeliever? 

 

 

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This can be hard. I think if the person is an atheist. I would have to pray about it. My own son moved in with his girl friend. Saved or not were going to do most of the time what we want.. sad but God also knows this. Before I was married ask Him and all He said was "what do you want?" All those around me told me not to marry this girl "Mary". They all believers new she was wrong for me and she was saved. Here we are being together over 40 years now. 

I would really pray about it.. parents and pastors could chime in. 

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1 hour ago, SIC said:

In your opinion if a believer you know well gets engaged to an unbeliever what should be the right response? 

I am personally of the opinion that the right response would be to show the believer those verses in the bible that speak against marrying an unbeliever and then pray for God to change their heart. After all God's word has power mine don't. 

Some others in church believe that would be 'hitting them on their head with the bible'. 

What do you all think is the best way to respond to a believer you know well getting engaged to an unbeliever? 

 

 

Try to show them the difference between light and darkness and how could any fellowship exist in those realties…

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I was an agnostic (a fallen away Roman Catholic) when my future wife (a fallen away Protestant) started dating.  We lived together for a year before we were married.  Most of my family boycotted our wedding because my wife and I were not married in a Roman Catholic Church.  They did not boycott my sister's wedding in the Roman Catholic Church to an atheist.  Well, forty years later, he is still an atheist, my sister still a Roman Catholic, and my wife and I both born again Christians.  We haven't spoken for years. 

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3 hours ago, SIC said:

believer you know well gets engaged to an unbeliever what should be the right response

How well do you know them?

Clearly not well enough to know who they have been going out with.

 

So what can you do?

 

Ask what there joint plans are for church involvement once married?

Ask for how they will involve their children or teach their children about Christianity? To

If they are set on getting married there isn't much that you can do other than pray.

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If it was someone I knew well I would show them from the scriptures how light and darkness can have no fellowship. The point is to warn them they are on a bad path and why, that God does not want us to marry the unbeliever. Hopefully they listen, but most times they don't because they're "in love." (Most times you can tell they are going to do it anyway.)  

This is my personal experience, but not long after the wedding the believer either leaves the church or is in counselling because of their "hell on earth" marriage. I have no idea how many unbelieving spouses may have eventually gotten saved, but there were not that many I was present to see except one and another that I heard about second hand. This is in a 15 year military career, so its not a very high success rate!

Oddly enough: couples that got married while both were not saved seemed to have better results . . . the first spouse gets saved and the other follows not too terribly long after. Much better success rate, but can still be pretty rough for those involved. God can work any situation out.

 

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6 hours ago, SIC said:

What do you all think is the best way to respond to a believer you know well getting engaged to an unbeliever? 

You can use this verse:

  • 2Co 6:14-18 -> "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty."

 

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3 hours ago, pinacled said:

Did you serve in Germany?

I did, but that would be a subject for another thread. I do not want to hijack this one.    :)

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3 hours ago, Josheb said:

Upon what basis do you tell others what to choose and/or how to live? 

It's not telling other how to live, but warning a fellow believer that the path they're on is perhaps not the best path. Paul said what he did for a reason. A warning is not telling someone how to live. If the person don't listen to the warning (and gets married to the unbeliever anyway, as in the OP example) then they will bear the consequences of their choice like anyone else. Those consequences may not be pleasant. I've learned that from years of seeing others make unwise choices. 

Leonardo Von posted 2 Cor 6:14-18 and he has a good point. Those verses can apply to other situations where believers have to work with unbelievers - there is a line beyond which we as believers should not go because light and darkness will not always pull in the same direction. The location of that line is best found through personal prayer, wise counsel, and others interceding in prayer over a given situation. 

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It's unfortunate that many 'believers' feel that there are 'no rules to follow' so they generally still live in a worldly manner.

Licentiousness; a disregard of any rules.   Ephesians 4:19

It's a word that has been replaced in even the king James, replaced with the word lasciviousness,

just as 'conduct' was replaced with the word 'conversation' in many of Paul's letters.  Ephesians 4:22

Those are some of the things aiding the falling away from sound doctrine.

 

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