Some people we are better off without

[JohnPaul88]

8 minutes ago, kwikphilly said:

Thanks for your reply JP- I'm pretty sure it's true in all of our lives.... We are not born into the perfect Gody family that provides some umbrella of God's Grace to shield us from sin & evil. .. Even being the product of 2 Born Again Believing parents doesn't ensure that the children will all make the same choices- it's life in this fallen world! Those children sure have a good start but each one must choose for themselves when they come of age,to accept Christ & serve the Lord or not.

So,no doubt not everyone chooses that path- God Tells us many are Called but few are Chosen- that's reality.Its God's Truth and we don't get to choose the families we are born or raised with.... We do get to choose God's Family!!!! Praise the Lord!

Amen sister, I couldn't have said it better.

[missmuffet]

4 hours ago, kwikphilly said:

Hi Peeps

As I mentioned,this is going on for almost 60 yrs- it's my first cousin,I am the only family member that has remained in her life- she's far too complicated to discuss here and to put it mildly,she's mean,abusive and has always had an explosive anger Mgmt problem( without reason)

If you don't think I've spent countless hours talking honestly,counseling & being there for my baby cousin then I don't know what to say.  I'm finished with her unwarranted verbal abuse( out of thin air) ..   I know she's strongly oppressed ,hard to accept but more likely possessed

Of course I pray for her,really? I've prayed for her since she's a small child who behaved like a possessed person and was violent until late adulthood,I was the only one that could reason with her after she'd settle down but it's not my job & if it was- I resign

I understand that you do not want to be a doormat to this toxic lady. Have you ever told her how you feel about her honestly and that you are cutting off your relationship with her and why? 

[teddyv]

"You can choose your friends, not your family." Some old saying, I think.

[C_Beth]

4 hours ago, kwikphilly said:

Hi Peeps

As I mentioned,this is going on for almost 60 yrs- it's my first cousin,I am the only family member that has remained in her life- she's far too complicated to discuss here and to put it mildly,she's mean,abusive and has always had an explosive anger Mgmt problem( without reason)

If you don't think I've spent countless hours talking honestly,counseling & being there for my baby cousin then I don't know what to say.  I'm finished with her unwarranted verbal abuse( out of thin air) ..   I know she's strongly oppressed ,hard to accept but more likely possessed

Of course I pray for her,really? I've prayed for her since she's a small child who behaved like a possessed person and was violent until late adulthood,I was the only one that could reason with her after she'd settle down but it's not my job & if it was- I resign

I totally agree with your reasoning.  We don't want any harm to come to these people and certainly send prayers BUT you can only do so much before it starts affecting your own mental health.  At that point, it's time to Let Go and Let God.

Blessings to you always, kwikphilly.

[kwikphilly]

2 hours ago, missmuffet said:

I understand that you do not want to be a doormat to this toxic lady. Have you ever told her how you feel about her honestly and that you are cutting off your relationship with her and why? 

Again,I've always been honest with her( And anyone for that matter) Do I seem like a person that doesn't say what's on my mind or in my heart?

    Anytime she gets ticked off over some imagined thing she is " Done with you"( her words)..   then she calls crying when she needs something,it's a cycle,a perpetual cycle - this time I blocked her,I'm not interested in hearing from her........ And that's the end of the story- if one day she showed up at my door I would answer ,wish her well & tell her to have a nice life( without me in it)

[missmuffet]

43 minutes ago, kwikphilly said:

Again,I've always been honest with her( And anyone for that matter) Do I seem like a person that doesn't say what's on my mind or in my heart?

    Anytime she gets ticked off over some imagined thing she is " Done with you"( her words)..   then she calls crying when she needs something,it's a cycle,a perpetual cycle - this time I blocked her,I'm not interested in hearing from her........ And that's the end of the story- if one day she showed up at my door I would answer ,wish her well & tell her to have a nice life( without me in it)

If you have discussed with her your issues you have with her and she keeps coming back then yes...take her off your contact list. Life has enough stress as it is without adding a screw to your life.

[kwikphilly]

9 minutes ago, missmuffet said:

If you have discussed with her your issues you have with her and she keeps coming back then yes...take her off your contact list. Life has enough stress as it is without adding a screw to your life.

I appreciate your opinion & input but I'm not looking for advice or approval,no disrespect intended.

As I said I only started this thread so others could feel free to share about their own issues,I just kicked things off to pave the way

My personal relationship isn't really up for discussion,it's an example and my decision to no longer engage is the best thing I could do - when you've had enough of the merry-go-round you can just get off or keep going in circles- it leads nowhere

Have you never had anyone toxic in your life where you are much better off without? I'm sure you have & you didn't need anyone to condone your actions,right? We do know what's best for us,it's just difficult to walk away from people you love even when it's a one way relationship.....the Lord certainly gives us Peace in doing so,Praise Jesus!

[missmuffet]

1 minute ago, kwikphilly said:

I appreciate your opinion & input but I'm not looking for advice or approval,no disrespect intended.

As I said I only started this thread so others could feel free to share about their own issues,I just kicked things off to pave the way

My personal relationship isn't really up for discussion,it's an example and my decision to no longer engage is the best thing I could do - when you've had enough of the merry-go-round you can just get off or keep going in circles- it leads nowhere

Have you never had anyone toxic in your life where you are much better off without? I'm sure you have & you didn't need anyone to condone your actions,right? We do know what's best for us,it's just difficult to walk away from people you love even when it's a one way relationship.....the Lord certainly gives us Peace in doing so,Praise Jesus!

If you are not looking for advice then I am confused why you posted this. Surely you knew that you would be getting advice. 

Yes, I have had toxic people in my life. Most people have. 

[JohnPaul88]

17 hours ago, kwikphilly said:

Again,I've always been honest with her( And anyone for that matter) Do I seem like a person that doesn't say what's on my mind or in my heart?

    Anytime she gets ticked off over some imagined thing she is " Done with you"( her words)..   then she calls crying when she needs something,it's a cycle,a perpetual cycle - this time I blocked her,I'm not interested in hearing from her........ And that's the end of the story- if one day she showed up at my door I would answer ,wish her well & tell her to have a nice life( without me in it)

Well said and best way to go about it Sister.

[JohnPaul88]

18 hours ago, kwikphilly said:

I appreciate your opinion & input but I'm not looking for advice or approval,no disrespect intended.

As I said I only started this thread so others could feel free to share about their own issues,I just kicked things off to pave the way

My personal relationship isn't really up for discussion,it's an example and my decision to no longer engage is the best thing I could do - when you've had enough of the merry-go-round you can just get off or keep going in circles- it leads nowhere

Have you never had anyone toxic in your life where you are much better off without? I'm sure you have & you didn't need anyone to condone your actions,right? We do know what's best for us,it's just difficult to walk away from people you love even when it's a one way relationship.....the Lord certainly gives us Peace in doing so,Praise Jesus!

Great response Kwik, sometimes people need to be told upfront and public, totally agree with you Sister.