The Halo Effect

[Sower]

On 9/4/2022 at 1:18 PM, missmuffet said:

Post Author: Bill Pratt 

If we like a person when we first meet them, then we will consistently look for reasons to like everything about them as time goes on. If we don’t like a person when we first meet them, then we will consistently look for reasons to not like anything about them as time goes on.

Wrong.  (Or should be for a believer)

I met a man while working on the roof of a new church building our own church was erecting with an all volunteer army of members. My cigarettes fell from my pocket down to the ground, hollered to someone please throw them up. He made a perfect throw and I said so as I thanked him. Behind me I heard a gruff voice say "Well, at least he didn't praise the Lord"

This was my first time on a men's work day as I was a new believer. I did not understand what he said, but I felt I had been put down. I assumed he was a anti smoker. (This was 40 yrs ago) I took an instant dislike of this individual.

Weeks later while doing some work at the church, my pastor told me someone wanted to talk to me about some building they needed constructed on their property. I went up front and there stood this big rough looking guy that had made the smart remark on the roof.
Long story short, I did the job, me became friends, I taught him how to fish in the surf and we became fishing buddies, and went two by two every Monday night sharing the gospel, fishing for men, for decades. He became my mentor.

The point needs no explanation.  God had a plan. And I eventually preached my mentor's funeral...

[missmuffet]

39 minutes ago, Sower said:

Wrong.  (Or should be for a believer)

I met a man while working on the roof of a new church building our own church was erecting with an all volunteer army of members. My cigarettes fell from my pocket down to the ground, hollered to someone please throw them up. He made a perfect throw and I said so as I thanked him. Behind me I heard a gruff voice say "Well, at least he didn't praise the Lord"

This was my first time on a men's work day as I was a new believer. I did not understand what he said, but I felt I had been put down. I assumed he was a anti smoker. (This was 40 yrs ago) I took an instant dislike of this individual.

Weeks later while doing some work at the church, my pastor told me someone wanted to talk to me about some building they needed constructed on their property. I went up front and there stood this big rough looking guy that had made the smart remark on the roof.
Long story short, I did the job, me became friends, I taught him how to fish in the surf and we became fishing buddies, and went two by two every Monday night sharing the gospel, fishing for men, for decades. He became my mentor.

The point needs no explanation.  God had a plan. And I eventually preached my mentor's funeral...

I have witnessed this situation numerous times. 

If we like a person when we first meet them, then we will consistently look for reasons to like everything about them as time goes on. If we don’t like a person when we first meet them, then we will consistently look for reasons to not like anything about them as time goes on.

[Sower]

12 minutes ago, missmuffet said:

I have witnessed this situation numerous times. 

If we like a person when we first meet them, then we will consistently look for reasons to like everything about them as time goes on. If we don’t like a person when we first meet them, then we will consistently look for reasons to not like anything about them as time goes on.

Your experiences? Your first impression/presumption.
Don't blindly believe everything you read from man's experts. And not everybody is like you. Or like me, thank God.
According to my bible I shouldn't conclude a bias, or judge, especially some one I don't really know.
It is easy to do so even here on this forum, as we all know.
First impressions can very well be wrong as they are based on shallow assumptions about appearances, written words or face to face.
Like I tried to show you in my post above, my best friend/mentor I disliked upon my first impression.
I am very fortunate I discovered/God showed the real person before I decided to act upon my first impression of him.
 

[JohnR7]

15 hours ago, HopeInHim said:

When it comes down to it God really doesn’t need us to accomplish His will-

Actually, He does because we have been given dominion and authority. We are Co-heirs with Christ. 

[missmuffet]

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turns away wrath,
But a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 20:3

It is honorable for a man to stop striving,
Since any fool can start a quarrel.

 

[com7fy8]

23 hours ago, Marathoner said:

The Lord does indeed use specific individuals at various times to accomplish His purpose. God does whatever He pleases.  

One thing that can happen is you give someone very clear things . . . even if the person does not like you. And later, when he or she starts talking with someone he or she does like, things you said can come back to the person's mind, and the person can ask about those things and get confirmation.

[missmuffet]

8 minutes ago, com7fy8 said:

One thing that can happen is you give someone very clear things . . . even if the person does not like you. And later, when he or she starts talking with someone he or she does like, things you said can come back to the person's mind, and the person can ask about those things and get confirmation.

Have you ever been in a group of 3 people and someone comes along and will speak to everyone else but you? 

[com7fy8]

2 hours ago, missmuffet said:

Have you ever been in a group of 3 people and someone comes along and will speak to everyone else but you? 

Not that I remember, right now. But I have been in a church and talking with someone, and someone else would come and barge right in to talk to the other person, as though I wasn't there. 

Then I went for a trip on foot to Rhode Island. And when I came back and was talking with someone, that person came up to us but stood and was quiet; right away, I invited her to join in talking with her or us.

May be my being away got her thinking how she might have been the reason I left without telling anyone. But I did not hang it over her.

Different people, in my experience after getting to know more and more people, can do a same thing but for even a unique reason that I would not even think of. I did an experiment after someone did something and I at first took it to mean the person was leaving me out. I simply asked the person why he did the thing. He gave me an answer that I was quite impressed no one could just make up 

In any case, I am learning not to let wrong people have power over me to control how I react or feel. 

With one leader, he seemed to be treating me like a peon who wasn't worth listening to. So, after I got over my nasty reacting and dealt with how Jesus says to love any and all people, it came to me that I needed to be his best friend by being his example of how to be and how to love. So, I would be kind and caring and encouraging in my attitude, for him to be likewise. And he changed from treating me like dirt or whatever.

But it is possible he did not want to stand out like a sore thumb by treating me wrong while I was being kind and respectful and encouraging with him. He left our church.

But I have my examples who have shown me how they don't give up on anyone. How I treated that leader was coming from the example of my role models. I treated him well, but I never named him as one of my role models; one time I did name one, then noticed he was near enough to hear me and he could realize I did not name him! That might have effected him, though I was not trying to get him to hear that.

In my case, a lot of times ones do come to speak with someone who is with me. They can be bonded with each other and need to handle church business quickly because the one interrupting has a lot to do in the church. I might feel a little insulted. 

But it can be like water running downhill. If they don't drink from me, humble I go  to whoever God has for me. Never is your loving going to waste!

[missmuffet]

34 minutes ago, com7fy8 said:

Not that I remember, right now. But I have been in a church and talking with someone, and someone else would come and barge right in to talk to the other person, as though I wasn't there. 

Then I went for a trip on foot to Rhode Island. And when I came back and was talking with someone, that person came up to us but stood and was quiet; right away, I invited her to join in talking with her or us.

May be my being away got her thinking how she might have been the reason I left without telling anyone. But I did not hang it over her.

Different people, in my experience after getting to know more and more people, can do a same thing but for even a unique reason that I would not even think of. I did an experiment after someone did something and I at first took it to mean the person was leaving me out. I simply asked the person why he did the thing. He gave me an answer that I was quite impressed no one could just make up 

In any case, I am learning not to let wrong people have power over me to control how I react or feel. 

With one leader, he seemed to be treating me like a peon who wasn't worth listening to. So, after I got over my nasty reacting and dealt with how Jesus says to love any and all people, it came to me that I needed to be his best friend by being his example of how to be and how to love. So, I would be kind and caring and encouraging in my attitude, for him to be likewise. And he changed from treating me like dirt or whatever.

But it is possible he did not want to stand out like a sore thumb by treating me wrong while I was being kind and respectful and encouraging with him. He left our church.

But I have my examples who have shown me how they don't give up on anyone. How I treated that leader was coming from the example of my role models. I treated him well, but I never named him as one of my role models; one time I did name one, then noticed he was near enough to hear me and he could realize I did not name him! That might have effected him, though I was not trying to get him to hear that.

In my case, a lot of times ones do come to speak with someone who is with me. They can be bonded with each other and need to handle church business quickly because the one interrupting has a lot to do in the church. I might feel a little insulted. 

But it can be like water running downhill. If they don't drink from me, humble I go  to whoever God has for me. Never is your loving going to waste!

The incident can not make you feel bad about yourself. Others would say that you were being too sensitive. 

[com7fy8]

18 minutes ago, missmuffet said:

The incident can not make you feel bad about yourself. Others would say that you were being too sensitive. 

That might be the "victim" reaction. But I have been more of a predator and bully; so I could react in a more aggressive way . . . self-righteously criticizing the person who did not give me the attention I might want. And I could do some wimpering about it, too.