biblical or heresy?

[Guest mimilana]

Someone had asked how we met. We met on a christian penpal website on the internet.

I really believed that God had brought us together...or I wanted to believe that He did. We talked on the phone for 8 months. We always talked about the word which was what drerw me to him. after about almost a year, he moved my daughter and I out to Colorado with him. Thats when the problems began...

He believes that God brought us together and so in God's eyes we are married...thats why it's okay to have sex. He would mention couples in the bible who did not have a ceremony...like adam and eve, abraham and Sarah, etc. I allowed myself to be decieved at first...now I am 6 months pregnant. I do not put the blame on him...I chose to ignore what I knew to be true...I allowed myself to be decieved and now I'm reaping the consequences.

God only knows the guilt I had about this. I made a promise to God and kept it for 8 years...now I broke it. I ask myself how God could ever trust me again...how he could ever use me. How can I witness to anyone after what I've done?

Several people have said to leave him...it's not that easy. I'm 1800 miles from family...I have no one here. I have to trust that God will bring a way out for me...which He will!

It seems like all he cares about anymore is that we don't have sex...that I don't sleep in the same room as him(I sleep with my daughter)...it's constant with him. I find myself not letting my daughter sleep over at friends because when she's here I know he won't approach me.

The messes we humans get ourselves into when we decide to take things into our own hands!

It's so nice to be able to talk to people who are believers...it's been so long! Sometimes I feel I'm dying spiritually.

[Work in Progress]

First he says:

1. Sin is no longer imputed to the believer...Jesus died for past,present and future sins...thus showing that there is no longer any need to asking forgiveness. All we are required to do is seek Him and thats it.

Then he says:

We have no control over our body because sin lies in the flesh...not the spirit. By this he believes that it doesn't matter what the body does. The body can sin because sin lies in it.

So, how in the world does he reconcile those with:

5. He believes God puts sickness on you when you disobey him....if God puts sickness on you,then why does he heal you? Wouldn't he be working against himself?

According to him, we have no control over ourselves and aren't required to ask forgiveness anyway, so what's the "disobedience" we can commit that would cause sickness on us?? It's a free-for-all - "only spirit matters", and any "disobedience" isn't our fault and can't be helped. So why would God punish us?

I think you should run and run fast.

And his rationalizations to be able to have sex before marriage are nothing new. Like the Bible says, there's nothing new under the sun.

You deserve better. I pray you seek God and who He will have you with. Someone who will rise to your standards, not lower you to theirs.

[Work in Progress]

He believes that God brought us together and so in God's eyes we are married...thats why it's okay to have sex.

Mimilama, you aren't the first to fall for some smooth talk like that, so don't get hung up on guilt. Be thankful that God is guiding you to seek the truth at places like this, among other believers. And don't get bogged down with what you have done - you can't change it. God knows your heart and it sounds like it's one of repentance and wanting to make positive changes.

It seems like all he cares about anymore is that we don't have sex

Yep. You already know what he is. He's all about himself. He does not have your best interests at heart.

Sometimes I feel I'm dying spiritually.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. God will not leave you - He promises that to you in His word. You only feel like that because of this guy. Don't go on feelings - they will fail you. God is with you.

Do what you have to do to get away from that relationship. Can you go back to your family?

I have to trust that God will bring a way out for me...which He will!

Yes, He will. But you must do what you can. Are you working? How long will it take to save the money to go back home? Can you get a small apartment on your own if you can't go back home right now? What are your options?

[nebula]

Deception is something any of us can be prone to - and several of us have at some time or another.

I have my own story with my own dark spiritual years last decade - and this after being a Christian for all my life. I still fell victim!

So, as WIP stated, don't let guilt drag you down. Instead, thank the Lord that He's allowed you to see the truth. Fear not - there may be a reason for what you've been through, as odd as that sounds. I know I was able to minister to someone in a significant way because of what I learned fromwhat I had gone through.

Open the Psalms and find the ones where the Psalmist is crying out for the Lord's deliverance. Pray these prayers. He will save you! I believe He will!

[kodischild]

I'm writing this from a bedroom in my parent's house. I own 2 bags of clothes, 1 cat, and a computer. I was a housewife up until just about a month ago, so I haven't had a job in 5 years. Nobody is hiring those of us with no skills and no recent work history in Michigan's economy right now. I tell you this so you won't think that I don't know how hard things can get. Ok, so I admit that I'm very lucky because I had a mom who opened her house to me, some people don't even have that.

Try to consider how this is affecting your daughter. These things that she is learning while she is there are things that could make her walk with God difficult in the future. In my experience it is almost easier for people who have never heard about God at all to find him than it is for those who have been exposed to false teachings.

Also consider that it will not get easier to leave in the near future. In a couple more months you are going to be pretty big for traveling. A few months after that you will have an infant, and they are pretty hard to travel with. A year down the road your daughter will have been exposed to false teachings for almost 2 years, and you will be firmly entrenched where you are......It really is time to go.

I know it is hard, but try to get out. If it comes down to it then pack up a couple of bags, get a cheap bus ticket, and start a new life back at home with your family. Maybe you can find a family member or friend who will let you stay with them for a little while until you can get on your feet. And there is help out there in most places. Don't be ashamed to have to use government or church support for a month or two. That is what it is there for. I hate asking for help, but if you have a child then don't let pride get in the way. Don't let fear get in the way, either. Take your wonderful daughter and get her to a healthy place where the two 1/2 of you can start heading in the right direction.

I would rather live in a small room (where water will freeze in the winter) and have very few possessions than to live in a place that is spiritually unhealthy. It took me years to make that decision, and I am worse off for it. I should have done what was right years ago and I wouldn't be hurting as much as I am now. I hope and pray that you won't make the same mistake I did when I waited so long.

[amazingrace]

mimilana, from what you have described with your boyfriend, there is much more to be concerned with than just his faulty theological slant ... although that in itself is serious.

This man appears to be manipulative and controlling. Has he 'punished' you yet for your mistakes? .... silent treatment? off-sides remarks regarding how you choose to worship if it differs from him? overt criticism? anger that seems to come from nowhere, for no apparent reason... and then just as suddenly, he acts as if nothing ever happened? Do his attempts at 'humor' have a cutting edge? As soon as you change to suit him, does he change the rules?... keeping you always off-balance and on-guard... being careful what you say or how you say it in order to keep him from being angry? confusing you with saying something, and then claiming that that is not what he said? even arguing with you even when you actually agree with him? When he said he was Christian, was it after you declared your faith in Christ? Does it ever seem as is he playing a role, saying/being what he thinks someone else wants him to be in order to impress them? Do you usually only do what he wants to do, when he wants to do it... and when you do do what you want, is he enjoying himself, or is it grudgingly? Does he ever criticise or express disapproval of your friends, or the time you spend with them? Do you find yourself parroting him, instead of expressing your own thoughts? "John thinks (rather than I think)" Does it ever seem as if he uses his "superior" knowledge of Scripture or theology or world history or politics or whatever you are discussing, to belittle you?

My dear, if you recognize even one of these behaviors in him it should send up a red flag, and if you continue the relationship, proceed with caution, because I can tell you from experience, this is a toxic personality. Sooner or later, you will lose sight of who you are, not knowing where you stop and he begins ... and you will not be happy about it, but you will have convinced yourself that the problem is with you, and that if you try harder you can please him.

I apologize if this has caused you any grief at all. Please believe me when I say I am speaking out of true concern for you. May God guide you.

[Mikeyjay]

no offense to him...but your boyfriend is a thorn amongst the roses...he is a stumbleing block and if you let him he will drag you down...be aware that the enemy (satan) does not like you and he does not want you to be a Christian...he will use those close to you to hurt you and pull you down...be very aware of the reality of the spiritual war over your soul...do not take heed to his words...if it were me i would probably dis-assosiate myself from him, but that is a personal stance...ok!

[ruah brit]

I want to thank everyone who responded to me...you all have helped SO much!

He has not been burned by a bad experience at church....He simply doesn't go. He hasn't gone since he was a child.

He listens to no one...recieves no teaching from men (as he puts it) He says that everything he believes is what the Lord revealed to him. He quotes Paul extensively...especially where he says that "you have no more need for a man to teach you"...he believes that him. According to him there are 2 types of people...the sheep and the leaders...with him being a leader. A leader needs no one to teach him except God. He believes that he is one of the few who God has revealed the "truth" to.

I can only write a little at a time...I do not want to be caught asking anyone about his beliefs.

Again...thank you everyone!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The scriptures are clear. you will know them by their fruit.

Matthew 7

15 "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.

16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles?

17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.

18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.

19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them

Galatians 5

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

24 And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Denise

[irishcowboy]

Someone had asked how we met. We met on a christian penpal website on the internet.

I really believed that God had brought us together...or I wanted to believe that He did. We talked on the phone for 8 months. We always talked about the word which was what drerw me to him. after about almost a year, he moved my daughter and I out to Colorado with him. Thats when the problems began...

He believes that God brought us together and so in God's eyes we are married...thats why it's okay to have sex. He would mention couples in the bible who did not have a ceremony...like adam and eve, abraham and Sarah, etc. I allowed myself to be decieved at first...now I am 6 months pregnant. I do not put the blame on him...I chose to ignore what I knew to be true...I allowed myself to be decieved and now I'm reaping the consequences.

God only knows the guilt I had about this. I made a promise to God and kept it for 8 years...now I broke it. I ask myself how God could ever trust me again...how he could ever use me. How can I witness to anyone after what I've done?

Several people have said to leave him...it's not that easy. I'm 1800 miles from family...I have no one here. I have to trust that God will bring a way out for me...which He will!

It seems like all he cares about anymore is that we don't have sex...that I don't sleep in the same room as him(I sleep with my daughter)...it's constant with him. I find myself not letting my daughter sleep over at friends because when she's here I know he won't approach me.

The messes we humans get ourselves into when we decide to take things into our own hands!

It's so nice to be able to talk to people who are believers...it's been so long! Sometimes I feel I'm dying spiritually.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

this sounds almost exactly like one of the people I use to know......

too much like him.... was a house guest of mine for a time..... got to know him pretty well...

if you feel you are dying spiritually, it is time to remove yourself from the cause of the slow agonizing death.... some times this is easier said then done, for no one wants to be the one to say good bye to the other.... it is almost easier to be the one that is dumped then to be the one dumping.....

anyways, sounds like you are ready to do the dumping... you need to be revived, to live again....

mike

[Guest LindaInChrist]

I want to thank everyone who responded to me...you all have helped SO much!

He has not been burned by a bad experience at church....He simply doesn't go. He hasn't gone since he was a child.

He listens to no one...recieves no teaching from men (as he puts it) He says that everything he believes is what the Lord revealed to him. He quotes Paul extensively...especially where he says that "you have no more need for a man to teach you"...he believes that him. According to him there are 2 types of people...the sheep and the leaders...with him being a leader. A leader needs no one to teach him except God. He believes that he is one of the few who God has revealed the "truth" to.

I can only write a little at a time...I do not want to be caught asking anyone about his beliefs.

Again...thank you everyone!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

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When anyone begins to declare that they alone have revelation from God and that they alone hear from God and everyone else should listen to what they say.....beware! The Word tells us that WE (the collective, corporate body of Christ) have the mind of Christ.