Pastor w/Shepard's Heart

[GentlesoundGS]

I am Gentlesound and my profile is listed amoung the members here at Worthy Chat.

I have come through some heavy counseling with a Christian Psychiatrist I am in my second year.

I have no Pastor to connect to and find my self very suspicious with the Pastor's at the church I currently attend.

I am evangelical and for the first time in my Christian walk, I am not a member of any denomination.

In my discussions with my Doctor, I find his advice to seek out a Pastor on line. I told him about Worthy Chat and he felt I knew my foundations rather well to seek out Pastoral conversation and counsle.

For a year I was removed from serving and counseling, and too my surprise My Doctor encouraged me to begin Counseling.

My concern is Jesus is not real to me anymore and that does not really bother me. I can recall and support with scripture and learnedness and personal experience, but Christ is as real to me as nothing never having been an anyone of any importance.

I have gone from feeling Christ is killed in me to I don't give a damn anymore. I do not miss worship or the wonderful desire I used to have to go to church.

I know I am unfamiliar to Christ, but I don't feel condemned for this feeling.

I feel quite liberated and I can sleep again.

I know I am to still seek him while he still may be found, but there is no something from me to work from.

I have bought a C S Lewis book "What Christians believe" and though it is few pages, I find myself working through rather slowly.

any takers???

[disconnected]

Is it just Jesus or is this apathy spilling over into your life in other areas as well?

Are you on medications of any sort?

Are you having problems with the foundations of the Christian faith or just not feeling very spiritual.

If you weren't concerned at all with not missing Jesus then you'd not be here asking this question, so some part of you truly wants to feel as you've felt some time before.

More background is needed though to offer sound advice, but I will pray for you.

[Leonard]

Sounds like you had a big dose of pretty toxic religion mixed with some real Jesus in the past, and you've sort of thrown out the baby with the bathwater.

Look, you've obviously gone through some pretty heavy duty things in life, and I think God has broader shoulders than to hold your current feelings against you.

I'm a Priest with over 30 years' Ministry experience. If you like, PM me and we can speak as much as you like.

Every blessing,

Fr. Onesimus

[HisWordIsSufficient]

i havent been through it myself, or helped anyone who has, so i cant tell you exactly how you should fix it, but id like to make suggestions...

try listening to faith preachers. ones that really stirr up the spirit within you. like Creflo Dollar, or Kenneth Copeland.

Also, seek God for a reverence for Him. It seems youve lost your Fear of the Lord. Your reverence. Pray for it and repent. look deep in your spirit and go to the word of God. Try to find all that you feel you have lost.

One thing i know is that God is waiting for you. Looking at you saying "i miss you, why dont you want to be with me?" He will be waiting for you.

It shouldnt be freeing to be away from God, it should be the opposite. You need to truly seek God, to find his truth. His liberating, wholesome, wonderful truth. Jesus loves you so dearly my friend. Go back home to Him!

[GentlesoundGS]

Well, I would most definitely be the one to FIRST CONDEMN ORTHODOXY or religion...

but they dont MONOPOLIZE this sceerio....

this kind of thing happens in all congregations and denoms.....its a personal matter not a doctrinal situation that leads one in this area of apathy.

many times, depending on how we relate to God and the bible on a personal level, goes quiet or blank and we "feel" like we are in "numby brain" land.....

I suggest that its because our intellect, or our emotions, or our ambitions have been "loaded" and are full, and we need to let them "digest" in our hearts.

there are times God will "feed" us through our personal experiences that will lead us to becoming "tired" or fed up with certain situations that happen over and over.

when we realize we cant change anything in our power, we automatically go into "reserve" mode.

Of course, depending on where In Arizona he/she is, also may influence the scenerio.

I lived in Phoexix Metro(mesa,tempe,scottsdale,ahwatukee) for 15 years, and got burned out just on everyday "rat race" things.

I would never recommend "leaving" or vacating a congregation of worship just because one feels this way, I'd recommend sitting back and let everyone else go about their "busy bee" business.

A short break from activities of anykind will naturally bring about eventually, over time, a thirst and hunger to be involved again.

Its the HOly Spirit within us that wont let us go a long period of non-fellowship.

God has made us "ALIVE", we cant forget what he has done.

there are way too many out there who dont know as we do.

[GentlesoundGS]

Well, I would most definitely be the one to FIRST CONDEMN ORTHODOXY or religion...

but they dont MONOPOLIZE this sceerio....

this kind of thing happens in all congregations and denoms.....its a personal matter not a doctrinal situation that leads one in this area of apathy.

many times, depending on how we relate to God and the bible on a personal level, goes quiet or blank and we "feel" like we are in "numby brain" land.....

I suggest that its because our intellect, or our emotions, or our ambitions have been "loaded" and are full, and we need to let them "digest" in our hearts.

there are times God will "feed" us through our personal experiences that will lead us to becoming "tired" or fed up with certain situations that happen over and over.

when we realize we cant change anything in our power, we automatically go into "reserve" mode.

Of course, depending on where In Arizona he/she is, also may influence the scenerio.

I lived in Phoexix Metro(mesa,tempe,scottsdale,ahwatukee) for 15 years, and got burned out just on everyday "rat race" things.

I would never recommend "leaving" or vacating a congregation of worship just because one feels this way, I'd recommend sitting back and let everyone else go about their "busy bee" business.

A short break from activities of anykind will naturally bring about eventually, over time, a thirst and hunger to be involved again.

Its the HOly Spirit within us that wont let us go a long period of non-fellowship.

God has made us "ALIVE", we cant forget what he has done.

there are way too many out there who dont know as we do.

[heavenlyfavoured]

Hi "GentlesoundGS",

Am glad u were able 2 find this site to communicate with fellow brethren.

Am no expert but i would like 2 give my advice as the Lords spirit reveals to me.

I would suggest like "Bluebird1" suggested to get ministers that awaken ur spirit. She mentioned Creflo Dollar who is personally the preacher i always listen 2.

Like in 1 of Dr. Creflo Dollars preaching, he preached that never u let ur spirit empty. I mean like make sure u r always spirit filled. The same way u feed ur physical body which is the flesh is the same way u should feed ur spiritual body. I would say that ur spirit lacks food which is the word of God. Ur spirit is hungry and thirsty 4 the word though it seems the opposite 2 u.

The devil is a liar. He wants u 2 draw away from God which is the most dangerous thing 2 do. He wants u 2 give up and that everything is so boring, the same old thing over and over again, but watch it, Christianity can never b boring nor monotonous why becoz we receive new Grace and Mercies everyday. The Grace of yesterday is not the Grace of today, u need 2 renew ur mind daily with the word of God, the word of yesterday is not the word of today. Get todays word today.

God bless!!!

[nebula]

Hi, GentlesoundGS!

I don't know what you are going through, but I can relate to the struggle.

I had to leave my church because things had gotten so . . . dead (to put it simply), and I haven't been able to find a new one.

I've also been through a situation where God was . . . far gone . . . to me.

If there was ever a time I would have thrown away my faith, it would have been then. But then I wondered, "Where would I go? What would I do? Will I find anything to compare with the presence of the Lord?" It was like my boat had been reduced to a dinky liferaft. Do I jump the life raft and swim on my own trying to find a new boat or ship? Or do I stick with the dinky life raft that at least offers some protection and small provisions and let my fate ride in its destiny?

For the first time I understood Peter's words, "Lord, to whom can we go?" (John 6)

I've heard of times like this being described as "a desert experience." WE have sermons about mountains and valleys, but few speak of the desert. I've been through many a desert.

But this was the worst

Psalm 22:15 - My strength is dried up like a potsherd, And My tongue clings to My jaws; You have brought Me to the dust of death.

Psalms 42:1-5

1 As the deer pants for the water brooks, So pants my soul for You, O God.

2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?

3 My tears have been my food day and night, While they continually say to me, "Where is your God?"

4 When I remember these things, I pour out my soul within me. For I used to go with the multitude; I went with them to the house of God, With the voice of joy and praise, With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast.

5 Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance.

Needless to say, I made it through. But one thing I learned - there are water holes in a desert. There are ways to find food. And oddly enough, deserts contain a lot of beauty. You just have to see it.

I don't know if this adds a spark to what you are going through. All I can say is that I've been in a situation similar to what it sounds like you are going through, and I know that you can make it through without losing your faith. It may take a long while, like it did me. But I couldn't finish college in a day; why should life lessons?

Praying for your spiritual health, and that you find the beauty and the wells in the desert!

Lord bless!

[GentlesoundGS]

Sounds like you had a big dose of pretty toxic religion mixed with some real Jesus in the past, and you've sort of thrown out the baby with the bathwater.

Look, you've obviously gone through some pretty heavy duty things in life, and I think God has broader shoulders than to hold your current feelings against you.

I'm a Priest with over 30 years' Ministry experience. If you like, PM me and we can speak as much as you like.

Every blessing,

Fr. Onesimus

[melissa528]

it sounds like you are in a resting...healing ....state of mind to me

you feel nothing and to you that is good because you also dont feel worry ...condemnation...or pain...

while you may have 'thrown out the baby with the bathwater' so to speak...i feel this is a phase of your healing process

remember the poem 'FOOTPRINTS'

it was when he didnt 'feel' God ....that was the time God was carrying him...

Christ may not seem real to you right now but that is because He is carrying you

HE is real...and when you do 'feel' Him again ...and you will...He will melt your heart at how He has never left you...but gave you time to heal and just be...because He knows what you need and He knows where you are going...

sometimes God seems silent to me...i dont know why but i have also heard other christians say this in their life...but when He does show up He shows up in strong and amazing ways...

sounds like you are like a newborn baby ...sleeping like a baby... resting in assurance...yet not feeling worried or concerned about anything in particular...

the time will come when you feel strong enough to want to feel something again and God can restore your joy as if you were a little child

God bless you and keep you and just know

you dont have to feel Him right now...because He is carrying you...whether you know it, believe it or not..

HE is ruler of all and HE loves you and me ....and that is amazing!

much love and prayers for you..