Is being nice a turn off?

[heavenlyfavoured]

Hi

This may sound funny; but does any1 here sometimes feel like wierd when pple think ur trying 2 b 2 nice. I kind of have a problem with this, am no angel but am the type that loves 2 help and i dont know, mayb say, i can just get along with any Tom, Dick and Harry but its like i freak pple out or something. If I would b really mean 2 someone, I would definately b a turn off, but when am always like always just normal, smiling and stuff, does that also turn pple off or freak them out? Do they mayb think am trying 2 pretend being all nice and all. Sorry cant help it, am one of those who can do almost anything i put my hands and brains on with the Lords help and i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 2 help.

Mayb this is not really a question but sometimes it leaves me displaced; should i b mean or down right good?

God bless!!!

Edited November 24, 2005 by refugepsa91

[mikado5001]

Welcome to the club HF. I am the proverbial nice guy. Unfortunatly in this cynical, what's in it for me, society. Most folks think that when you are nice. It's just a means to an end. Or a facade. I was once VERY nice to a girl. Her Mother was near death. I met through a mutual friend. And took a liking to her right away. Here is where things get sticky. We had gone out once and had a nice time. I did not know about her mother at that time. And when I did find out. I took her to see a show. And I think that weirded her out. My intentions were pure. And I feel blessed to have done something to take her away from her troubles. And I have barely seen her since. This was almost a year and a half ago. I have since let her go. Though I tell our mutual friend to say hi. But it seems that folks are so used to, while not quite mean, not very nice people. A nod, a hello, a good evening, or even a thank you when someone holds that door. That seems to be greeted with suspicion. I say to you this. Continue to be as nice as you are. Don't be a pushover. But just be you. G-d willing your nice will spark another nice and a roaring flame of nice will light up the world. Last night a friend and I were out to dinner and the waiter seemed genuine in his serving. And the tip we left reflected that. I could see as we walked out. Our waiter seemed lighter.

So again be as nice as you can be. Sometime, when you least expect it, it will come back to you.

[Bolts]

Be you. There is only one you in the world (does that sound parental? sorry if it does). You are unique.

People role model. My daughter is going through the rap phaise. Before this she was a magazine model, a lawyer and her big sister. I usually take a quick glance over what a person is wearing to help me gage people. Doing this helps me choose the type of greeting I will give. I very rarely get funny looks now.

[Guest yod]

If you are being nice to bless people (and not because of some psychologically deep need to be liked) and they don't recieve your kindness....bless 'em anyway!!!

You are the kind of person we suspect because there are so few people who are genuinely nice just to be nice, ya know? Don't let that stop ya

[kodischild]

People give me weird looks, too. I think it is because so much of what we do is just society polite. Like when you say, "Have a nice day." Or "How are you this morning" eveyrone knows that you don't really care if they have a good day or how they are. So when someone is really nice it takes people by surprise. They figure you are either crazy or want something from them.

Remember that you are nice to people because they are God's creation and He loves them so you should to. You are not nice to people because of how they respond to you.

[Keith]

I agree with yod.

Be the person that God created and called you to be. If you're a genuinely nice person, it won't really matter what others think or say because your thoughts and motives won't be influenced by them. If you're being nice and helpful to gain friends and acceptance, then your motives need to be examined. Don't fall into the "Woe is me, nobody likes the nice guy" trap. Do it as unto the Lord alone.

If others treat you unkindly or suspiciously, don't pay any attention and keep on behaving the way you're supposed to. I promise you, God is working in that other person. You are just there.

I know a man who came up to a nice guy and said, unhappily, "I've tried to hate you. You're so nice and happy all the time that it makes me sick. I wanted to hate you but I can't." He grumbled the whole time he said it! So, just be who you are and let God use your obedience to work in others.

[Knight of Christ]

I agree with all of the above.

[Fiosh]

Hi

This may sound funny; but does any1 here sometimes feel like wierd when pple think ur trying 2 b 2 nice. I kind of have a problem with this, am no angel but am the type that loves 2 help and i dont know, mayb say, i can just get along with any Tom, Dick and Harry but its like i freak pple out or something. If I would b really mean 2 someone, I would definately b a turn off, but when am always like always just normal, smiling and stuff, does that also turn pple off or freak them out? Do they mayb think am trying 2 pretend being all nice and all. Sorry cant help it, am one of those who can do almost anything i put my hands and brains on with the Lords help and i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 2 help.

Mayb this is not really a question but sometimes it leaves me displaced; should i b mean or down right good?

God bless!!!

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm Interesting question.

And I can't add much to the great answers you've received.

Just a few thoughts:

* sometimes when a person is dealing with great sadness or stress, it's hard to see someone who is truly happy

* not being a morning person, it's hard for me to deal with "perky" before 10 am

My suggestion would be to be aware of people's reactions and try to temper your approach to fit their mood.

JMHO

Keep up the good work! It's a gift of the Holy Spirit.

Peace,

Fiosh

[sisterinchrist]

Hi

This may sound funny; but does any1 here sometimes feel like wierd when pple think ur trying 2 b 2 nice. I kind of have a problem with this, am no angel but am the type that loves 2 help and i dont know, mayb say, i can just get along with any Tom, Dick and Harry but its like i freak pple out or something. If I would b really mean 2 someone, I would definately b a turn off, but when am always like always just normal, smiling and stuff, does that also turn pple off or freak them out? Do they mayb think am trying 2 pretend being all nice and all. Sorry cant help it, am one of those who can do almost anything i put my hands and brains on with the Lords help and i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 2 help.

Mayb this is not really a question but sometimes it leaves me displaced; should i b mean or down right good?

God bless!!!

Don't be mean. Just be yourself.

I am another one that smiles alot and usually very happy.

I love helping people and try to be nice to everyone.

Some may not like my niceness some do. Whatever they want to receive is all up to them. I just bless them anyway. And God does the rest.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm Interesting question.

And I can't add much to the great answers you've received.

Just a few thoughts:

* sometimes when a person is dealing with great sadness or stress, it's hard to see someone who is truly happy

* not being a morning person, it's hard for me to deal with "perky" before 10 am

My suggestion would be to be aware of people's reactions and try to temper your approach to fit their mood.

JMHO

Keep up the good work! It's a gift of the Holy Spirit.

Peace,

Fiosh

[heavenlyfavoured]

Hi,

THANKS ALL SO MUCH.

Am not just saying this 2 b nice I really mean it!

Thanks mikado5001, Bolts, yod, kodischild, keith, knight of christ, Fiosh and sisterinchrist 4 taking time 2 reply.

I know someday well meet in heaven and we'll b like, ur "so" or "so" i though u were fat , no i thought u were thin , etc. Its going 2 b great at home in heaven, aint it

God bless!!!