Don't want to surrender

[Figure of eighty]

So after much thinking and contemplating I realized where I'm at with God. I'm very stagnant. My situation isn't the worst others are going through mind numbingly worse pain.. 

But I have 2 small toddlers, I'm trying to do delivery to raise money to pay my schools tuition, I'm innnursing school and I'm dealing with toxic family.. like today my brother put a cut on my sons foot and he argued with me about why he didn't need to apologize. It was an accident but still and my mom took up for and defended him. 

I walk on eggshells and I can't say much I feel anything I do may trigger my mom so I just do my best to take it but when it comes to my kids that's when I snap. 

But back to the point. I realized I'm afraid to surrender bc I've been with my toxic family for a while and I've been trying to break away but it's difficult.. now nursing is my main route but I worry if I " surrender" I'll be stuck in a toxic environment forever and my kids will too and it's very disappointing to think about. 

How do I change that fear? Or see it differently? 

[Debp]

4 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I realized I'm afraid to surrender bc I've been with my toxic family for a while and I've been trying to break away but it's difficult.. now nursing is my main route but I worry if I " surrender" I'll be stuck in a toxic environment forever and my kids will too and it's very disappointing to think about

Do you mean surrender to Christ or surrender to your toxic environment?    

If you are talking about surrender to Christ, I like to call it walking with the Lord in your daily life.    And that is a life of peace... it's a wonderful life in Christ.

No matter what happens, just respond in a godly way.    Learn to walk in the Spirit.   It's a good life!

[NConly]

Zech 13

8 And it shall come to pass, that in all the land, saith the LORD, two parts therein shall be cut off and die; but the third shall be left therein.

9 And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God.

1 Pete 1

Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:

7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

Phil 1

6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

Being in the one third is better than being in the two thirds by far.

 

[Hinds Feet]

9 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

So after much thinking and contemplating I realized where I'm at with God. I'm very stagnant. My situation isn't the worst others are going through mind numbingly worse pain.. 

But I have 2 small toddlers, I'm trying to do delivery to raise money to pay my schools tuition, I'm innnursing school and I'm dealing with toxic family.. like today my brother put a cut on my sons foot and he argued with me about why he didn't need to apologize. It was an accident but still and my mom took up for and defended him. 

I walk on eggshells and I can't say much I feel anything I do may trigger my mom so I just do my best to take it but when it comes to my kids that's when I snap. 

But back to the point. I realized I'm afraid to surrender bc I've been with my toxic family for a while and I've been trying to break away but it's difficult.. now nursing is my main route but I worry if I " surrender" I'll be stuck in a toxic environment forever and my kids will too and it's very disappointing to think about. 

How do I change that fear? Or see it differently? 

If you don't mind me asking, how old is your brother?  Or what is his age range? (Is he mid to late teens or older?)

[irishbeast]

Howdee pal

I delivered a message at church today about the different stages of faith using Peters escape from prison in Acts as a "template". 

I said there were 3 points: stages, decisions and perseverance. The order is not set in stone

 

The fact that you are asking the question says to me that God has initiated a breakthrough (stages). You are wondering what to do relating to your family (decisions) and must (persevere) if you truly believe. 

I have lost most of my friends since I sort of give up drinking. Its hard as my family are Christians on paper but don't believe. I took ages to come to faith and yet I still f up all the time

Do you pray? Or is that awkward in the environment? Despite what some would say there is no "proper" way to pray. Disjointed, broken prayer is better than none. The only thing I am fickle about is that the prayer must end "In Jesus Christs name" but other than that is all good! Within reason of course

This passage may help

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us…” – Romans 8:26

 

 

 

[NConly]

Simple  prayer does help one along the way. 

Philippines 1

6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

Give thanks to God for starting His work in you; He will change you, you cant do it yourself.

Give thanks for a good night sleep 

Give thanks for God watching over  you while you slept.

Give thanks for today

Give thanks for Jesus paying the price for your sins.

and always end with in Jesus name I pray Amen

 

[Debp]

1 hour ago, NConly said:

Simple  prayer does help one along the way. 

Philippines 1

6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

Give thanks to God for starting His work in you; He will change you, you cant do it yourself.

Give thanks for a good night sleep 

Give thanks for God watching over  you while you slept.

Give thanks for today

Give thanks for Jesus paying the price for your sins.

and always end with in Jesus name I pray Amen

 

I agree... being thankful for all things is a great help in life.    And the Word of God tells us to do that....in all things.

[Marathoner]

This is always difficult to quantify with words, but it's worth trying.

When we surrender to Jesus Christ this is when He dwells with us, and we dwell with Him. From the darkest of times to days of sunlight and glory, He is always with us, and we are always with Him. That is what it means to walk in the Spirit, @Figure of eighty. It is a relationship between us and the Almighty. 

What does this mean? I can walk anywhere on this earth... through places of desperation and unspeakable suffering where murders and kidnapping are common... and I am neither dismayed nor afraid for Christ is with me always. Don't you know that those who dwell in such places are the same whom Christ came for? He did not come for the strong or the wise, my friend. He came for the lowly and oppressed. He came for you and me. 

On the other side of misery and agony, you will find the lover of your soul and the Holy One who will take you in His hand. When I emptied myself out at last, the Lord filled me to overflowing, demonstrating that what I lost was nothing compared to what He had to give and will give to me.

I learned to listen to His voice and ignore the frantic fears of the natural mind and this flesh. Whatever the Lord declares, it is trustworthy and true. Surrender to the Lord and you will find yourself on the other side of misery. Even though we suffer, it's only for a little while. 

[Orion]

On 6/7/2025 at 12:25 AM, Figure of eighty said:

So after much thinking and contemplating I realized where I'm at with God. I'm very stagnant. My situation isn't the worst others are going through mind numbingly worse pain.. 

But I have 2 small toddlers, I'm trying to do delivery to raise money to pay my schools tuition, I'm innnursing school and I'm dealing with toxic family.. like today my brother put a cut on my sons foot and he argued with me about why he didn't need to apologize. It was an accident but still and my mom took up for and defended him. 

I walk on eggshells and I can't say much I feel anything I do may trigger my mom so I just do my best to take it but when it comes to my kids that's when I snap. 

But back to the point. I realized I'm afraid to surrender bc I've been with my toxic family for a while and I've been trying to break away but it's difficult.. now nursing is my main route but I worry if I " surrender" I'll be stuck in a toxic environment forever and my kids will too and it's very disappointing to think about. 

How do I change that fear? Or see it differently? 

I'm going to be blunt. Sitting on the fence is just fine with Satan: he owns the fence.  

You are either in Christ or you're not. Having said that, understand that if you are in Christ,  the moment you were born again in Christ you were justified, you were adopted into the family of God, and  you were and are being sanctified. 

Sanctification is another way of saying that you are set apart from the world, that God has begun a work in you, and He has promised to complete the work He began in you.  Sanctification is a process, a lifelong process that begins when you first believed and were born again in Christ, and sanctification is fully realized when we are glorified with Christ. 

If you are in Christ, God's Sanctification of you is His plan for you; trust God's plan, because God's plan is greater than all the plans that you and all the planners in the world could ever come up with; God's plan is greater. 

Peace 

 

 

Edited 6 hours ago by Orion

[irishbeast]

3 hours ago, Orion said:

I'm giing to be blunt. Sitting on the fence is just fine with Satan: he owns the fence.  

You are either in Christ or you're not. Having said that, understand that if you are in Christ,  the moment you were born again in Christ you were justified, you were adopted into the family of God, and  you were and are being sanctified. 

Sanctification is another way of saying that you are set apart from the wotld, that God has begun a work in you, and He has promised to complete the work He began in you.  Sanctification is a process, a lifelong process that begins when you first believed and were born again in Christ, and sanctification is fully realized when we are glorified with Christ. 

If you are in Christ, God's Sanctification of you is His plan for you; trust God's plan, because God's plan is greater than all the plans that you and all the planners in the world could ever come up with; God's plan is greater. 

Peace 

That’s a powerful post—straight to the heart of the matter.

I especially love the line, “Sitting on the fence is just fine with Satan: he owns the fence.” That hits hard and cuts through all the lukewarm fluff we so often hear. You're right—there’s no neutral ground in the spiritual battle.

Your explanation of sanctification was spot on too. It’s both encouraging and humbling to remember that God isn’t finished with us yet. He began the work, and He will complete it—no matter how messy or slow the process may feel at times.

Thank you for the boldness and clarity. Keep speaking truth.