Need a little advice

[Jacqueline]

I take with me to church a lot of kids. Some are family members some not. Theres this one little girl who loves going. Infact she even signed up to be a junior user at the church. I'm so proud of her. She really wants to know Christ.

Infact... one sunday her bible teacher told her about Moses and the stick. How God turned the stick into a snake. She was so excited that when she got home she found her own stick and tossed it on the ground absolutely expected God to turn it into a snake. She was heart broken when the stick remained a stick. But I explained that God turning the stick into a snake for Moses was for Moses and that He choose a lot of different ways to saw Himselves to His children. That was just one of them.

This little girl's desire to learn about Jesus is so amazing. Last weekend was her first meeting for the junior users. Now... I know that she was wrong... absolutely wrong... She got mad at her great grandmother and she told her to shut up. Absolutely wrong.. she deserved to be punished, but to keep her from church? I don't agree with that.

How can you keep her from the very person who will teach her to respect not only her great grandmother, but others as well?

I don't get it. I want badly to tell her mother that she's wrong, but that will only upset her and she will stop her daughter from going altogether. What do you think?

What would you do?

God Bless You

Jacqueline

[BCPaolo]

I have quite a bit of experience with situations like this, and one thing I have learned is when trying to give constructive criticism, don't focus on your disagreement with the person you're talking with, focus on their behaviour. For example, if this topic gets brought up in conversation, agree that the girl should be punished, and ask what the punishment is. WIthout saying she's wrong, ask the mom why she feels keeping her kid from church would be appropriate punishment. Get her to explain her reasoning without coming off as hostile or judgemental. SUGGEST that maybe going to church would HELP her daughter and not hinder her, maybe a grounding would be a more suitable punishment?

Nobody likes to be told how to do things, let alone how to raise their kids, so being humble and constructive is key in these situations!

Best of luck!

[Liss]

I have quite a bit of experience with situations like this, and one thing I have learned is when trying to give constructive criticism, don't focus on your disagreement with the person you're talking with, focus on their behaviour. For example, if this topic gets brought up in conversation, agree that the girl should be punished, and ask what the punishment is. WIthout saying she's wrong, ask the mom why she feels keeping her kid from church would be appropriate punishment. Get her to explain her reasoning without coming off as hostile or judgemental. SUGGEST that maybe going to church would HELP her daughter and not hinder her, maybe a grounding would be a more suitable punishment?

Nobody likes to be told how to do things, let alone how to raise their kids, so being humble and constructive is key in these situations!

Best of luck!

good one!!!

I couldn't agree more

[Work in Progress]

I wouldn't say anything to the Mother. As someone said, no one wants to be told how to raise their children and it really isn't your place to say anything. It may even make matters worse.

I would never keep my child from Sunday worship because it is not practical, but I have grounded him from Youth Group as a last resort. I took a lot of heat (and yes, things got tense when the Youth Leader (who has no children) called and criticized me. But he LOVES Youth Group and nothing else was working. And he shaped up after that punishment, so I have no regrets. Sometimes you have to take away what they love the most to get an impact.

And if the parents are not Christians, they do not realize how important it is for the child to be there. To them, it's just like grounding them from anything else.

[irishcowboy]

What did the girl do? that caused her to be restricted?

let us not undermine the authority of another parent. actually, it might be helpful to support the parent in the parents decission....

WHAT??? and keep the child out of church and sunday school????

No !

by supporting the parent you can also be teachingboth the parent and the child... the parent that Christians are not all bad.... and the child that they are to honor their father and mother.....

maybe a small letter to the parents saying how much the child is missed in sunday school and how valuable they are to the class.. maybe even send a copy of each weeks work with the note. also explain that you will honor the parents wishes, of restricting the child from church and hope that when they are unrestricted that they will be able to attend again....

another thing is when there is a program or a dinner or another event, that is good for the family, make a personal appearance to the home and personally invite the parents ( and the children of the home ) to accompany you... you willl even provide the transportation ( if that is an issue )......

be kind to the parents.... there are many parents that are having a hard enough time with out others trying to tell them how to raise their kids.....

mike