A Situation With a Dear Friend

[kittylover0991]

Please let me first say, that if this is in the wrong section, I am really sorry. Please also let me say that I really do have a friend who has come to me with this problem. I know I have gone to people before and said "A friend of mine has this problem" and it was about me, but this one really is about a friend. I guess the most I can ask is your advice. I have a friend(name I cannot reveal) who has a problem with pornagraphy and I don't know how to help her. I can honestly say that she is saved but too scared to go and talk to anybody else. Not to mention, she has a boyfriend and is afraid to admit this problem to him. Of all people, she chose me

If anyone has any advice on this and/or any verses from God's Word, it would be much appreciated. Again, I am sorry if this is in the wrong forum(Should I have put this in the Ladies' Forum instead?)

With sisterly love in Christ Jesus,

Crystal

[Work in Progress]

She has to realize that her actions are her choice. 1 Cor. 10:13 - "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it." In today's do-what-makes-you-feel-good, you-deserve-it world, personal responsibility is mocked and shunned. Remind her that she belongs to God and adheres to His standards. Advise her to think of Christ sitting next to her when she indulges in pornography.

Is she is a young girl? Maybe the Pastor's wife would be good for counselling with her? Or a trusted, experienced older woman of the congregation?

[Razberry]

Kitty, I so wish I had advice for you for your friend. I hate porn for what it is, but more so hate that it's at anyone's fingertips today. This is of Satan, with no doubt. God meant sex as a sacred, beautiful gift to be shared between a husband and wife, not only to procreate. I'm sure you could google "sex, bible" and come up with plenty to read. Sex is so "plentiful" today in our techie age, what is special about it anymore? It's meant to be special, and blessed. It's not special when it's seen from a very young age on a daily basis, and so freely acceptable in any scenario. Scenarios that always seem to omit the consequences, such as disease, unwanted pregnancies, abortion, and the emotional pain and scarring.

I, personally, know of a woman who at one time detested porn. However, at her husband's urging, she watched it with him. It always contained lesbian sex too, which he preferred. She found this disgusting at first. Then after a while, she found herself starting to enjoy these "porn" nights. Then she found herself unable to enjoy sex with her husband unless it involved lesbian fantasies. Now, she could be happy completely excluding him from her sex life and becoming a lesbian. She enjoys and prefers what she once found to be an abomination. This totally contradicts the "gays were born that way" theory, however, it's the truth. Porn is sinful and it destroys God's unions and/or God's plan. It is of Satan.

I'd say pray, pray, pray for your friend. YSIC, robin

[Guest godsci]

Point to consider:

Does she really want to break free of the habit?

If her answer is yes:

1. She can move her computer to a location where others can see the monitor (e.g., move the PC out of her bedroom).

2. Select an accountability partner (e.g., you) who will check with her and encourage her to keep away from the Porn...

3. Replace the time she has spent viewing porn with something else (more constructive etc).

4. Pray that the Holy Spirit will touch her and help her to break free of this addiction.

5. Set a small goal -- e.g., to make a commitment that she will stay away from porn for 1 week; and if she succeeds, reward herself with something else she likes; and then set the same goal again; repeat this process and increase the goals (e.g., 2 weeks without etc)...

Grace and Peace to you,

John

http://www.GodSci.org

[Guest saved4eva]

yeah..i don't know.. i don't think you can find verses on how porn is a sin... but like there was one part in like matthew where it talked about whatever part of your body causes you tooo sin.. cut or chop it off. .or whatever.... so in a way.. she should try to control herself.. but prayer is powerful.. so maybe praying that God will give you the rite wisdom than me trying to say um.. so yeah... Ask God to give you the right wisdom, and find the right verses for this situation. Love... saved..

[nebula]

Force her to sign up for Anatomy & Physiology - all of it.

Tell her she has to pass with an A, or she'll have to take it again.

by the time she's done, she'll be so sick of the human body, it will lose all sexual appeal!

[mrcorey]

Setting Captives Free is a free online study. There is one for sexual purity. It's a 60 day course. I am on day 45 and it is worth it. I have been porn free since Nov 7th.

http://settingcaptivesfree.com/home/

in Him;

corey

[kittylover0991]

She has to realize that her actions are her choice. 1 Cor. 10:13 - "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it." In today's do-what-makes-you-feel-good, you-deserve-it world, personal responsibility is mocked and shunned. Remind her that she belongs to God and adheres to His standards. Advise her to think of Christ sitting next to her when she indulges in pornography.

Is she is a young girl? Maybe the Pastor's wife would be good for counselling with her? Or a trusted, experienced older woman of the congregation?

Yes, she is a young girl. Um, she is about my age(I am 15). However, she is scared to death to go and talk to someone.. she was shaken just talking to me about it... I have had my own situations and I know how hard it is to talk to someone(even at the church). I wound up talking ot my youth pastor after about 5 years.

Force her to sign up for Anatomy & Physiology - all of it.

Tell her she has to pass with an A, or she'll have to take it again.

by the time she's done, she'll be so sick of the human body, it will lose all sexual appeal!

Is that is a course somewhere?

[nebula]

Some high schools offer it - or at least offer anatomy. Don't know if high school anatomy would have the same effect as the college 2-semester course would, though. I just know how I felt about the anatomy of the reproductive system by the time we got to it -

[Rania]

Force her to sign up for Anatomy & Physiology - all of it.

Tell her she has to pass with an A, or she'll have to take it again.

by the time she's done, she'll be so sick of the human body, it will lose all sexual appeal!

That's excellent!!

Seriously......so many people think that this is a problem for men only which couldn't be further from the truth. The suggestions above are so good....especially, putting the computer in a room where many people are and having an accountability partner.

Also.....put a heavy filter on the computer to give you one more thing to make you stop and think before you move forward to disaster.

One last thing......if there is another person that your friend is communicating with on the computer who is into this......cut them off. Period.

Tap

Edited January 3, 2006 by Totallyatpeace