purity

[cutiepie1497]

what the heck is up with my youth group doing purity all the time? Like thats all I've heard for the past 2 years! I have no problem with purity. All we talked about in small groups last night were boyfriends and crap. I was the only one who has never had a boyfriend! I had my youth pastor's wife and Mrs. Karen has the 11th and 12th grade girls (kristin has 9th and 10th). But yeah, I was the only one who didn't have any question or anything to say about being in love, true love, the first kiss, how to "say no", etc. I went bawling out of the room after we were dismissed and Mrs. Karen said thats not all that she talked about with her girls and said that she wants me to come to her classes from now on. I am just so tired of never in my life having a boyfriend, heck I've never really had a crush on anyone. Why does a guy not want me? What wrong with me or how I look? ugh.......enough of the purity crap, people don't realize how crappy lessons like this make me feel and its what we are studying for the next month!whatever, and valentines day is coming up, great!

[Bolts]

what the heck is up with my youth group doing purity all the time? Like thats all I've heard for the past 2 years! I have no problem with purity. All we talked about in small groups last night were boyfriends and crap. I was the only one who has never had a boyfriend! I had my youth pastor's wife and Mrs. Karen has the 11th and 12th grade girls (kristin has 9th and 10th). But yeah, I was the only one who didn't have any question or anything to say about being in love, true love, the first kiss, how to "say no", etc. I went bawling out of the room after we were dismissed and Mrs. Karen said thats not all that she talked about with her girls and said that she wants me to come to her classes from now on. I am just so tired of never in my life having a boyfriend, heck I've never really had a crush on anyone. Why does a guy not want me? What wrong with me or how I look? ugh.......enough of the purity crap, people don't realize how crappy lessons like this make me feel and its what we are studying for the next month!whatever, and valentines day is coming up, great!

Blessings to you sweetie

You don't need a boyfriend to be accepted - and besides a relationship is about what you can give and not what you can get. Being able to imitate our Lord under the most hectic of situations and learning to compromise. Most people don't remember 'the kiss', they remember the person and whether the person was COol or not.

[Sadat13]

Hello SweetiePie,

I can understand where talking about a subject you have not had to deal with "personally" yet can be frustrating. Whether you believe it now or not someday you will deal with the subject of purity in your own life though. I would imagine that as much as you dont care for the subject now someday you will take what you have heard and try to apply it in your own life. It is not just a matter of the fact that God commands us to wait for marriage to have sex, as a parent of two teenagers myself, I know it is a matter of young men and women being aware of the mulititude of diseases that are out there. I pray that when the time does come for you to make a "choice" that you remember what is being taught now, even though you cant relate yet. God is with you and will guide you when "Love" does come your way.

Blessings from an Older Woman who Loves "Our Youth"

[Iryssa]

Also, you might want to talk to your youth pastor about changing it up a little. Tell him that you realize it's a real issue that people have, but that it's not that ONLY one. In fact, you might want to suggest doing some lessons on our identity in Christ...I find that this is an issue that touches all parts of people's lives, including purity (mention that if he wants to stay on the purity kick), acceptance, and just about any issue you can think of.

[cmariebright]

Purity is an important issue and true it's not the only one that youth have to deal with. My thoughts on the matter is this. I went to Southside Baptist Church and I was in the youth group. Some of the teenagers in the group were sexually active and at that time I did not realize that. I hated the youth group and always felt left out and alone I hung out with a couple of the guys but was not attracted to them in a boyfriend/girlfriend way. I did have boyfriends in highschool there was one in particular that I hung out with in the eleventh grade he was a freshman. We were at his home, his house consisted of the main house and two apartments underneath the home. He and I were alone in his apartment without parental supervision and things could have happened but they didn't because i stood by my faith and my promise to myself that i would not have sex until i was married and he did not pressure me into having sex either. I felt safe and comfortable around him and when you are looking for someone it's important to meet someone whom you can trust and whom won't pressure you into something you don't feel comfortable doing and loves you just the way you are. It's hard not to give in to tempation but I didn't and I was a virgin on my wedding day and so was he. God loves you and he is there for you he didn't create any junk he created you in his image and loves you just the way you are.

[princess_childofthekingofkings]

I am just so tired of never in my life having a boyfriend, heck I've never really had a crush on anyone. Why does a guy not want me? What wrong with me or how I look? ugh.......enough of the purity crap, people don't realize how crappy lessons like this make me feel and its what we are studying for the next month!whatever, and valentines day is coming up, great!

Hey,

I know exactlly how you feel. Every day when I'm at school, A bunch of other girls will be talking about how much they like certain guys at my school (Personally, I don't think there is one guy at my school that's worth dating), or how many guys they've made out with and who was good at it or not, when I've have two byfriends in my life, and have never even petty kissed a guy. And i have a friend ( Who by the way I love to death) that lots of guy think is so hott, but in reality, (not trying to insult her or anything) looks like a twig. She in 5'2'' and wears 00 pants, and has been mistaken forbeing 9 years old before. But they neve glance at me, and I am tall, slim, but not twig-like, and have good hair. But for some reason, guys are never interested. You might be wondering why I'm telling you all this, but I have a point I promise. My point is, you have a whole life to live, and when God wants you to find a guy, he'll send one straight to you. Until then, you need to have fun, and not let other girls'....... experiences get to you. I figured out this philosophy from that Barlow Girl song "Average Girl" Go here for lyrics if you haven't heard the song: Bralow Girl lyrics. Hope this made you feel better!

[ray]

Wow! you and your church actually get to talk about purity issues in your church. To me that is amazing. Growing up all purity lessons I got was is sex is a sin. IF any one got caught they just hushed it up and acted like it never happened. But talking about it for an extended period of time you indicated 2 years straight is rough when you not in a relationship. Perhaps they should offer 2 separate classes those that want and need to talk about purity and those who want to have a regular Bible study.

[princess_childofthekingofkings]

Wow! you and your church actually get to talk about purity issues in your church. To me that is amazing. Growing up all purity lessons I got was is sex is a sin. IF any one got caught they just hushed it up and acted like it never happened. But talking about it for an extended period of time you indicated 2 years straight is rough when you not in a relationship. Perhaps they should offer 2 separate classes those that want and need to talk about purity and those who want to have a regular Bible study.

Yeah, "Sex is sin" is about the only thing I ever heard in church as it regards dating. Every church I ever went to basicly makes premarital sex a terrible sin. Don't get me wrong, it is a sin, and I know that, but what I'm saying is they make such a deal out of it that they put their youth in legalistic bondage.

Another thing. You know how "normal" teens recieve a "birds and bees" talk from time to time from thier parents as they grow up and go through puberty, etc? Well, when I was a teen, my parents never once did that with us. Sex was simply an off-limits topic that you did not talk about or even mention under any circumstance. If you even said the word "sex" it was usually taken to be about as offensive as any form of profanity you can imagine. ?This in spite of the fact that the Bible is full of sex, both right and wrong sex. So why is it christian parents are afraid to even mention the word?

Well, at my church, we talked about it like a month ago, and we went more in depth than that, but I wish I could have taken my friends (they don't think there's anything wrong with premarital sex) to the high school service. My sister went and said they went way more in depth on it. We covered why it's a sin and what makes it bad for you. We even had a guest speaker who had fornicated a lot and got pregnant from it, and she talked about how her life was because of it.

P.S. What's up with the whole "birds and bees" thing? How does that have any relation to sex?

Edited February 14, 2006 by princess_childofthekingofkings

[princess_childofthekingofkings]

This in spite of the fact that the Bible is full of sex, both right and wrong sex. So why is it christian parents are afraid to even mention the word?

Because parents are afraid that the topic is brought up because their kids are thinking of having sex.

[Micah68]

Dear Cutiepie,

You didn't say how old you are, but I'm assuming you are in high school. Don't worry so much about boyfriends. It's easy for me to say now but actually I didn't have boyfriends when I was young. Now I can see that to a large degree, having boyfriends at a young age does make young people do things that they would be better off waiting for. It was a blessing to me not to be involved in such things. Now I have a wonderful husband who loves me and is very thoughtful. You will too one day. Just calm down and listen to what they're saying in your religious classes. Maybe you can get something out of it for future use. I think the most important thing to do is work on having a good attitude about whatever comes our way, no matter how difficult it may seem. God always means it for our good. Use this time to create in yourself a beautiful character and the right person will be drawn to you because of your inner beauty which reflects a godlike character.

Above all, don't compare yourself to all the kids at school. I think that high school aged young people have a terrible tendancy to compare themselves with everyone else at school and then they feel bad if they're not like everyone else or doing the same things as everyone else, etc, etc. You are different. Everyone is different and the actual life of someone who seems to 'have it all' is not what it's cracked up to be. Everybody has problems. Believe me, you wouldn't want someone else's problems. Be content with the ones that God has blessed you with. It's the working out of these problems that will make you a godly woman. Have a great adventure in life!! And be content!!

Edited February 14, 2006 by Micah68