Wanted: Parenting Advice

[>> Hannah <<]

My son is 8 years old and is a very creative and intellegent child. We attend service 3 times a week and in 2 of those services he is in Children's Church. On Sunday night services he goes to the santuary with me and his dad. My question is this, do you all think it is ok for him to bring things of entertainment (coloring books, books, small games etc.) into church. I have tried to get him to sit still and listen to the pastor but he falls asleep. We're pentacostal so I really don't know how he manages to stay asleep. I don't want him to dislike church services. We were in Revival this last week and I wanted him to stay awake and pay attention but he started to whine and beg to stay at home every night. I just want him to be involved in church and love it. Do you think I'm pushing too hard?

Oh and before you ask, he does have a good bed time

K

hey, im not a parent, but i remember my childhood very clearly.i was brought up in the church since i was a baby. alot of the stuff the pastor says, ur sons mind isnt really going to be able to cope with. also i always felt as a child that church was a little like school, someone at the front of the room, an adult, not being allowed to talk wen they are. church can be a big bore for kids. my mum use to refuse to let me n my sisters have colouring books and dolls with us. but she relaised that it was the only way of keeping us engrossed in something otherwise we wud just disrupt the entire service.When in church as a child i think i respected (in my child mind) the church and my mum alot more for not making me sit and listen to the service.

xx

[mikado5001]

First I am not a parent, yet. Not married, yet. But coming from a Conservative Jewish upbringing before coming to JESUS. I can attest to the boredom, or better put, inability to focus on the Sermon(or Liturgy). I would let my mind wander like never before during Service in my youth. Reciting Star Wars, or other movie was common for me. I never felt welcome(involved) in any service. So that's how I dealt with that. I was not a figity person. I am now though.

But when I first went to Times Square Church. I was amazed that EVERY service had child care set up. Parents were asked to bring the young ones to this area after the songs. They loved these and the HOLY SPIRIT was alive in them all. I saw 2yr olds clapping and 3yr olds singing to 'Open the Eyes of my Heart". The joy I felt when the children were allowed to go and be with other kids was enormous. Not for the sake of not having kids cry during a sermon. But because, reverent time or not, a child should never be expected to act as an adult before the right time. Pastor Conlin said it best. Though I was a bit offended when he said this. "Children, like a New Years Resolution, should be carried out immediatly." It took a little while for me to realize that a Sermon, unlike the shear joy of singing praise, is not always the best place for a young one to be.

willsmom, this might be a calling for you to organize child care for these services. A mother might be able to look after a couple of children. And if the sermon is recorded . See, or hear if later at leisure. Rotate the arrangements. I am sure that the Church will gladly set aside a room for this. Have videos, crayons, and such. I am sure those who care for the young ones will be as blessed as the adults who can enjoy the Word of The Lord.

Two questions, off topic, but I ask them anyway. What goes on at a Pentacostal service that is so lively? A

nd what is the point, beyond a SHOW of reverance, for standing up out of obligation when singing or reading from the Bible? I can see people being moved to stand for singing. Or a reading for that matter. But, in my opinion, the highest form of respect for G-d's word is listening. Regardless of the position one is in. I underline show because it is just as easy to review ones pocketbook contents standing or sitting.

[Guest LadyC]

if a kid is not disrupting the service or causing distraction, i think letting the kid entertain himself is fine. maybe you could get him a Bible-based colouring book. the focus should still be kept on Jesus, though, because otherwise the kid may grow up to be a teen who entertains himself with texting his friends on his cell phone during service!

[willsmom]

Two questions, off topic, but I ask them anyway. What goes on at a Pentacostal service that is so lively? A

nd what is the point, beyond a SHOW of reverance, for standing up out of obligation when singing or reading from the Bible? I can see people being moved to stand for singing. Or a reading for that matter. But, in my opinion, the highest form of respect for G-d's word is listening. Regardless of the position one is in. I underline show because it is just as easy to review ones pocketbook contents standing or sitting.

[Iryssa]

*smile* my brother and I always had Bible-themed colouring books to bring. We were supposed to listen to the sermon as long as we could, but if we felt tired we could ask (very quietly) for our colouring books. I remember one day when mom and dad forgot the books, so mom dug out her graph paper (she's an architect and liked to jot down ideas sometimes) and told us to write down everything we were thankful to Jesus for. That filled the rest of the service

[darkest_red]

My church has a creche for very young children and there is Sunday School for the older ones, however during the school holidays there is no Sunday School (people are away etc and it makes it harder to find people to run it. Also, the people who do run it need a break!) so when we were little we used to bring a book or a colouring book and we'd sit and read/colour quietly during the sermons. Once a month there is a Family Worship though, which is specifically designed to be suitable for all members of the church.

Our church did start to have a bag (it was a little green dufflebag, specifically made for the purpose I think) for the children during the sermon, which had colouring worksheets etc in it, and the worksheets were all about the sermon that day or one or both of the readings, and the little kids all seem to really enjoy that (unfortunately I was too old by the time they started that!) and they were learning too, so they felt more involved. Maybe you could see if something like that would be possible?

[jesussaves]

Wow! What a wonderful opportunity your child has to sit in the services where he can hear the prophetic word go forth, see people worship in the Spirit and experience himself the joy of being in the presence of the Lord. He is in a place that he can see first hand, not hear about, people who get healed, saved and set free.

Let your son bring his paper and crayons to church. He is at a young tender age and needs something to occupy him, but as he sits there he is still taking what the Lord is doing and he will never forget it. When he is grown there may be a time that he will need to look back on what the Lord did and grab hold of it. The Lord may even call him to the alter at the young age of 8....or...he may just fall asleep until the service is over. Either way, your child is in a good place for any age.

However, I don't believe letting children bring game boys and things that will distract others is reverencial to the Lord. Children need to realize they are in the Lord's house and He is to be honored above all else. When my children were young and sat in evening and morning services (that was before children's church) it was wonderful to see them enter in to the worship of the Lord, raise their little hands and even go to the alter to be prayed for. If they ever began to get restless etc...there was always a loving motherly saint nearby to take them under her wing and give them something to occupy themselves if need be. When they got older they sat with their friends and worshipped...if they got out of hand then...the pastor would call them down and thereby they learned reverence.

[willsmom]

Wow! What a wonderful opportunity your child has to sit in the services where he can hear the prophetic word go forth, see people worship in the Spirit and experience himself the joy of being in the presence of the Lord. He is in a place that he can see first hand, not hear about, people who get healed, saved and set free.

Let your son bring his paper and crayons to church. He is at a young tender age and needs something to occupy him, but as he sits there he is still taking what the Lord is doing and he will never forget it. When he is grown there may be a time that he will need to look back on what the Lord did and grab hold of it. The Lord may even call him to the alter at the young age of 8....or...he may just fall asleep until the service is over. Either way, your child is in a good place for any age.

However, I don't believe letting children bring game boys and things that will distract others is reverencial to the Lord. Children need to realize they are in the Lord's house and He is to be honored above all else. When my children were young and sat in evening and morning services (that was before children's church) it was wonderful to see them enter in to the worship of the Lord, raise their little hands and even go to the alter to be prayed for. If they ever began to get restless etc...there was always a loving motherly saint nearby to take them under her wing and give them something to occupy themselves if need be. When they got older they sat with their friends and worshipped...if they got out of hand then...the pastor would call them down and thereby they learned reverence.

oh wow! YOu have made me feel so much better. I have not been able to think of it this way. Thanks for taking the time to post. Also I love the idea posted earlier about the church providing coloring sheets and things that pertain to the service. Its just so hard in this age of electronics and "high tech" toys to entertain children with crayons and paper. Again Thank you for all of your input.

K.