new child

[fallen_stone]

I am bothered by the fact that while i seriously need help and advice from someone about an issue that involves verbal abuse, and past physical abuse, i am gettng no responses, while people asking questions about their sex life and other questions are getting many replies, maybe i came to the wrong site. I am seriously begining to regret coming here. YThank you to the two people who were ther, and i'm sorry to the rest of you for not being in "enough need" for your response.

i can;t depend on my family i have no idea why i was lead to believe i could depend on strangers.

[shepherdsgrace]

Hey Fallen Stone!

Take it easy! You have to give us some time. For instance I just now found your post. I am very happy to communicate with you over time. Just pm me. The way you do that is to click on my worthy name that is in the top left hand corner of post and it will take you to where you can click on pm. If you do not see it then come back here and ask again.

I do not have enough info right here to give any advice but we can talk and see how the Lord leads. Be encouraged. The Lord will help you to find out what you need to know. I will check the forums again later to see if you are sending me a pm or anything.

God bless. And do give people a chance to come across your posts. We have some people here who are very good at reaching out!

[fallen_stone]

Hey Fallen Stone!

Take it easy! You have to give us some time. For instance I just now found your post. I am very happy to communicate with you over time. Just pm me. The way you do that is to click on my worthy name that is in the top left hand corner of post and it will take you to where you can click on pm. If you do not see it then come back here and ask again.

I do not have enough info right here to give any advice but we can talk and see how the Lord leads. Be encouraged. The Lord will help you to find out what you need to know. I will check the forums again later to see if you are sending me a pm or anything.

God bless. And do give people a chance to come across your posts. We have some people here who are very good at reaching out!

i should say sorry if i have offeneded anyone here. I am very impatient on this topic considering how huge it is and how i a in a rush to make a decision. I know that God takes his time to answer, trust me i've been calling out to him for years, but i really need to make up my mind soon.

[shepherdsgrace]

Hey there,

I sent you a PM and will be checking in around 9:15 tonight. Sounds like the Lord is bringing things to a head for you. Try to meet the decision making with faith believing that God is leading you by his Holy Spirit. He is! He is ever faithful. He is the One who wants you to do well........

Talk to you later and God's blessings..........

[Openly Curious]

Hello fallen_stone,

I just came across your post sorry I did not see it before now. I am so glad you are here at Worthy and I welcome you and am glad to meet you.

I can feel your pain of heart and the inner turmoil that is going on and the deep desperation of your heart. Please know that there are good people here at worthy who really do care and are willing to lend a listening ear and give of their knowledge and experiences to you.

Also know that our Lord is always there to talk to when we have no one else you can talk to Him about what you are going through for He has seen every tear that has been shed by you regarding the physical and verbal abuse you have suffered and He knows you in a personal way far better than any one else ever will so I encourage you to cry out to God and let him know all of what you are feeling and He will be attentive to your cry.

Please know that you are not alone. I think all the things you've described and been through have left you feeling like you don't belong and I know that feeling very well. You feel betrayed and rejected by your mother and didn't feel loved but abandoned.

As far as your real father goes you feel as if some how you would have had a better and happier life had he been a part of your life instead of the hand that you were dealt. You were deceived and feel betrayed in this. Now you want to belong and change your name to your father's last name thinking this will make you the person you should have been all along but couldn't be because your mother lied to you and kept you from your real father who is a good person.

I see that you are mixed up and it is quite understandable. The advice that you are seeking from what I gathered from reading is that you want to make a decision to one be able to just walk away from your mother's side of the family altogether but you no longer have any trust in them.

And two to make a decision to change your last name over to your father's last name.

So I will try to address these two things the best i can and I am no expert but I do know of the pain in which you share here. I think in regards to your mother's side of the family is concerned if the relationships are so bad or are unhealthy and harmful to you then you should stay away and also persue help from the pain from the verbal and physical abuse in which you suffered from your mother that is very important. If the relationships with mother's side of the family isn't harming you physically and emotionally then keep and try to work at the relationships if not then stay away for it is for your own emotional well being to do so. (which I believe it is)

Two you want to change your last name to your father's last name. This shows you want to belong and are thinking if you changed your name it will make you feel like you belong it will give you a sense of belonging to a family in which you do not currently feel and I know this feeling very well. But changing your name or keeping your current name will not change it. For you will still be the person you are now and these past hurts and wounds must be dealt with. But that name changing is totally your deciscion it will not hurt either way to change it or leave it as is for you will still be who you are right now. It is totally your choice on this matter.

Betrayal from family is a hard thing and bleeds over into so many areas of our lives I just trust that you will continue to seek counsel and help from others and from God for the bible which is God's word is full of God's counsel for us so I encourage you to read the word and pray to him while going through this inner turmoil and seek out a good church if you've not got one yet. And please know that I am here to talk with as I am able to do so feel free to post here or you can PM me God bless and I will be praying for you and uplifting you to the Lord to give you guidance the help and answers you are searching for.

OC

[cjrose]

I'm really not sure how to PM you, but i can give you my msn, if you have access to that? it's stonebaby86@hotmail.com

I don't mind opening up either, for i am so desprately in need of help.

you see, my mother and father divorced when i was only weeks old, and i was not permitted to have any typed of relationship with my father. I was told that he was a very bad man. He has been compared to the devil many times. My mother was very young when she had me, barely out of her teenage years, being young, she left me with her parents while she went to bars and met men. Finally she moved away to another province, and that's when she began to physically abuse me. i was 9. five years later i was removed from her home and sent to live with her sister. i continued to have a clsoe relationship with her parents. although they blamed me for what happened compared me to being bad like my mother constantly. Whenever i made a mistake, i was a dissappointment to them, i never had their support.

Recently i have made contact with my fater. he is not evil. It was all lies. he was not allowed to even see me they hid me from him. now i feel cheated. i could have had a good life with him. i am not bitter, and altough i am angry after discovering the dark truths of my mothers family, i was wiling to forgive them. But once again i am made out to be the bad person in their eyes. I want to be able to walk away from them, change my lst name back to my fathers, the name i was baptized with. I need help making a decsion. i hope you can help

sorry for typing a book!!!

thank you for thinking of me

-fallen stone

You've been through a lot and need a great deal of healing. It's a good thing that you are willing to talk about it. Keeping thungs inside only make it worse. I've got you buddied on my msn and hope I can catch you online, friend. Keep your chin up toward Heaven.

[fallen_stone]

It seems you know me so well.

Thank you for writing so much to me, and really listening to my cries. I believe you are right when it comes to the last name, i just fdon't want to be associated with my mothers family or her, and where we share the same last name, i just want to leave her behind.

I must make this enrty short because i have to go to work, but i will be back to talk, i hope you will still be there

thank you soo much!

[Openly Curious]

No problem fallen_stone I want you to know I do care. It sounds like you haven't really forgiven all the way for what your mother did to you I hope that you can find it in your heart to do this if you already haven't it will make your load so much lighter and will unloose God's hands to work in your life further. I will be here for a while until to tomorrow so if you want to talk then I am here. blessings

OC

p.s. that Francis William Bourdillon sure has a way with words the last two lines are very powerful aren't they. I pray your love doesn't die but it be rekindled and set ablaze that God would reach down to you and touch those places within your heart where i cannot reach. that He would heal those areas of your life that needs healing and restore your life and give you meaning and purpose all the things that you seek may you find them all in Christ Jesus our Lord in which we can find acceptance and peace in Jesus name amen.

[shazza]

Hang in there fallen stone.

I have PM'd you.

Many of us are praying for you

(((((((((fallen stone))))))) hugs to ya.

[dakota190]

fallenstone,

like some of the others, i just saw your post for the first time. the situation you describe is a very serious one, and no one wants to just pop off with advice, (as tempted as we may be to do so) advising from a knee jerk reaction. we advize you to seek the will of God, try to be patient for his answer. i can see your anger, and i understand your desire to react quickly to your hurt. i know because, God has been doing a mighty work in me, as i have a history, of anger, and i can be extremely impatient. especially if i am reacting to a hurt. the deeper the hurt, the more intense the anger and the desire to lash out and strike at them. which is why God sometimes makes us wait.

please, don't get ahead of the Lord, i have and it hurts to go backwards later. allow the Lord to minister to you first. i could advize you on how to handle the situation, immediately, but i won't be there later to help you cope with the results of the actions taken in haste and anger. so, PLEASE!, wait on the Lord. this situation did not reach this level over night and the healing won't come over night, either. we promise to be there for you to the best of our ability, with the Lords' grace.

with all of the love of the Lord, God Bless you.