Biblical Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage...

[MrsSealedEternal]

What are your views and thoughts about what the Word of God teaches regarding marriage, divorce and remarriage?

Please keep the tone of the discussion civil and respectful.

[Guest LadyC]

the other thread that was just started by FoC has several responses already.... perhaps this one could be merged with that one?

[MrsSealedEternal]

Lady C,

I would like to keep this topic open as I am hoping we can have a more comprehensive discussion that does not only focus on is remarriage permitted after divorce, so that people from all circumstances can gain a better insight in the Word of God and what it teaches pertaining the full spectrum. I have been pondering some things, and would really like to hear what others have to say.

[Guest LadyC]

fair enough

my understanding of scripture is pretty simplistic. God allows for divorce but really doesn't like it. He has allowed for it because of the hardening of man's hearts.

a believer married to an unbeliever should not seek a divorce. if the unbeliever files for a divorce, the believer is not bound to the unbeliever any more. he or she can remarry.

if a couple has divorced, and one has remarried, and subsequently finds himself/herself divorced from spouse #2, spouse #1 is off limits. they should not be remarried.

if a person has committed ANY sin, no matter WHAT it is, be it adultry or fornication or prostitution or divorce or lying or stealing or even murder, and later repents and is reconciled to God, their past sins are forgiven and forgotten and they are washed clean and become a new creature. thus they do not sin if they marry. divorce is not the unforgivable sin that so many like to believe it is.

[MrsSealedEternal]

The following is a study my husband put together. I have placed it here as a reference for others as well as myself. I would be particularly interested to hear from those who are studied in the Jewish marriage customs as to what thoughts they have concerning the verses in Duet. 22 & 24.

There are many reasons that the "immorality" or "unchastity" being described by Jesus cannot be adultery.

First of all the word for

[MrsSealedEternal]

The following is the other bible study my husband put together regarding this topic:

BIBLICAL MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE

OLD TESTAMENT AND NEW TESTAMENT

BASIC PRINCIPLES

"What therefore God has joined together,

let no man separate

Malachi 2:13"This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14"Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15"But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. 16"For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." 17 You have wearied the LORD with your words Yet you say, "How have we wearied Him?" In that you say, "Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and He delights in them," or, "Where is the God of justice?"

God makes it clear that He does not approve of divorce. In fact, He says He hates it. If God hates something, shouldn

[ParanoidAndroid]

A lot of packed out replies in this thread. I'll try to be a bit more brief

In short, I think the answer was given already - God doesn't like divorce, but he allows it due to human sinfulness. However, the answer is much more involved than this. Jesus is clear that there is only one acceptable reason for divorce - marital unfaithfulness. If a spouse commits adultery, then the marriage covenant is made void and the person may remarry. All other situations where a person remarries after divorce is considered adultery.

However, I'm not sure this is entirely accurate either. The obvious question is - what about people in abusive relationships? When one half is physically or emotionally assaulting the other? Surely it would be better to divorce than stay in such a relationship? A friend of mine from the U.S told me a story about a neighbour of hers who was being physically assaulted but believed it was God's will that she stay with the man because they were married. One day she was rushed to hospital with a slit throat and spent time in Intensive Care before being released (she was lucky to be alive). She went back to the man because it was (in her words) "God's will that man and woman not separate".

I'm afraid I cannot agree with that - my God is not a hateful God and he would not expect his people to live like this.

I think this involved a fair bit of common sense. In short, I see the passage in Ephesians 5 as a sort of contract. It says "wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord" (Eph 5:22), and far too often is left just like that. The woman in my above example obviously had only read this and assumed that she must submit to her husband's will. Many non-Christians (many feminists in particular) use this passage as a comment that the Bible promotes inequality between the sexes. However, it ignores the verses immediately after it: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Eph 5:25). If the husband truly loved the wife, would he slit her throat and beat her up?????

If the relationship is being abused and the man is not fulfilling his contractual vows to Love his wife (in the same manner that Christ loved the church - in other words, willing to die for her), not hate and despise and beat her, then can you blame the woman for leaving such an unequal relationship? In the words of Australian theologian Dr D.B. Knox - Sin has debased headship into dominance and obedience into servility....... But it is not to be so (Knox: Selected works, volume 1 "The Everlasting God", page 94). Unfortunately, in the modern world, people do abuse those laws of Ephesians 5. If things cannot be settled through other means, then it may be that the only reasonable option is to split from your partner, for ones own personal safety.

As for remarriage after divorce, this is a little trickier, because I don't know if the Bible ever says anything about this beyond Jesus' comments on adultery (see above for details). It probably is wrong and God probably won't be happy. But if the people truly commit to each other for life, I don't think God would send them to hell for it (I doubt it's a salvation issue, so much as it is a relational issue). What God would hate though is the increase of sexual immorality in our society and breakdown of the family unit - even though it was probably all "legal" in the eyes of the world, I cannot help but think God would be most displeased with Brittney Spears' 24-hour wedding. That's not marriage, that's just silliness.

But I digress. I'm going a little off topic there, so I'll finish off with that sentiment. sorry, I guess I couldn't keep it as short as I would have liked after all. Oh well.

~ All the best, PA

[FighterforJC]

The Bible is clear cut on what the valid reasons are for divorce. 1) Infidelity 2) the unbelieving spouse walks out on the believing spouse.

Of course, those two reasons have since been joined by other reasons like "abuse," which could mean anything from actual physical abuse, to the "abuse" of not being able to provide diamonds and luxury cars, or the "abuse" of not making enough money for the wife to stay home. and I'm talking about Christians.

The thing is, divorced people can only re-marry if their ex spouse is dead. But Americans are so sex-oriented and cannot control the fire in their loins. Women and men from other cultures can cope with singleness (aka no sex) much better than their American counterparts. So the bottom line is this. Ya think you finally found your "valid" reason to leave your husband? Go ahead. Just don't think you can jump into someone else's lap ever again, until he's dead.

Edited July 18, 2007 by FighterforJC

[AndrewA]

The thing is, divorced people can only re-marry if their ex spouse is dead. But Americans are so sex-oriented and cannot control the fire in their loins. Women and men from other cultures can cope with singleness (aka no sex) much better than their American counterparts. So the bottom line is this. Ya think you finally found your "valid" reason to leave your husband? Go ahead. Just don't think you can jump into someone else's lap ever again, until he's dead.

That is not what Christ said. How did you come to this conclusion?

Matthew 19 v 9 I Tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.

[tsth]

The Bible is clear cut on what the valid reasons are for divorce. 1) Infidelity 2) the unbelieving spouse walks out on the believing spouse.

Of course, those two reasons have since been joined by other reasons like "abuse," which could mean anything from actual physical abuse, to the "abuse" of not being able to provide diamonds and luxury cars, or the "abuse" of not making enough money for the wife to stay home. and I'm talking about Christians.

The thing is, divorced people can only re-marry if their ex spouse is dead. But Americans are so sex-oriented and cannot control the fire in their loins. Women and men from other cultures can cope with singleness (aka no sex) much better than their American counterparts. So the bottom line is this. Ya think you finally found your "valid" reason to leave your husband? Go ahead. Just don't think you can jump into someone else's lap ever again, until he's dead.

The thing is, divorced people can only re-marry if their ex spouse is dead. But Americans are so sex-oriented and cannot control the fire in their loins. Women and men from other cultures can cope with singleness (aka no sex) much better than their American counterparts. So the bottom line is this. Ya think you finally found your "valid" reason to leave your husband? Go ahead. Just don't think you can jump into someone else's lap ever again, until he's dead.

That is not what Christ said. How did you come to this conclusion?

Matthew 19 v 9 I Tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.

Scripturally, he is correct Andrew.

It is from the premise that is set in Romans 7....and it is based upon the woman. If ANY man marries a woman, who has been married, and her husband is still living, this is referred to as adultery. It is based upon a man marrying a woman who has already been married before. She is only set free from the "covenant" of marriage, IF her previous husband has died....in ANY scenario.....married OR divorced. In God's eyes, a marriage is a covenant for LIFE....Yes, there was a stipulation for divorce in the case of adultery, but it DID NOT include remarrying. It was strictly permission to divorce and that was all.

Romans 7:1 Do you not know, brothers--for I am speaking to men who know the law--that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? 2 For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. 3 So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.

I know that there are many in this day and time who are divorced, but that doesn't mean that we neglect correct teachings for the next generation coming up behind us.

In His Love,

Suzanne