Biblical Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage...

[tsth]

I'm not calling you a hypocrite. I'm saying, as I have always said, that all of us have not-so-pretty things in our lives that we don't want to see the light of day, but there are people who want to post threads like this one in the guise of 'education' when what they are really doing is pointing a finger, judging, and trying to feel better about themselves in the process.

It is very easy to draw a line in the sand, and say "God hates divorce. Don't do it." when you have never been divorced. It is easy to say "hang in there" when you have never been abused by a spouse, or had one try to kill you.

The main problem is this: Those of us who have been divorced and re-married get a little tire of constantly being told that we have some kind of taint on us that just won't wash off no matter what we do. We are supposed to walk around with our heads hung down in shame because we can just never again quite measure up to those who have never been divorced. I hate to burst their bubble, but that is a bogus belief. Sin is sin and everyone has some in their life. One may lie, the other may be divorced. Doesn't matter, sin is sin, and we all fall short. So I don't hang my head in shame, and I never will.

You must have missed my post???

I know that there are many in this day and time who are divorced, but that doesn't mean that we neglect correct teachings for the next generation coming up behind us?

Couldn't you agree that we still need to teach the next generation differently?

In His Love,

Suzanne

Just because it's something WE'VE done, doesn't mean that we can ignore what the Scriptures say, because they might make us feel bad. We still have to listen to what is in God's Word. I have learned, since then, and I'd hope that I could teach my children correctly, since no one cared to show me the Truth.

And Carol's Post???

Hi,

I was divorced before I became a christian, after being a christian for a while I wondered if i was able to remarry, I was pointed to some scriptures in the new testament and told no I was not free to remarry until my ex was dead.

I was not best pleased i can tell you. that wasn't what i wanted to hear. I went home read the scriptures and prayed about it. Guess what God said the same thing I had been told. I was still not pleased but eventually agreed to do it Gods way.

I prayed that if I never remarried then that would be fine as i planned to follow the Lord all of my days. Oh what peace it has brought me. Am i lonely, NO, Am i fullfilled, YES God meets my every need. Oh and my ex died last year, very sad for my son, but it hasnt changed anything for me. Now I am free to remarry if I want to or meet someone. To be perfectly honest I don't think God is planning for me to remarry.

Carol R

In His Love,

Suzanne

[AndrewA]

If God dissaproved of Divorce so much and has , acording to you fighter, condemed all Divorced people who marry again, why has God blessed a Christian couple who both had previous marriages , and given them some amazing gifts and ministry? this alone proves your ridiculous false teaching wrong.

You are arguing from perhaps experience and know of people with "amazing gifts and ministry." but you cannot contend with the teaching of Scriptures that divorce is wrong, God said "I HATE divorce," and Paul made it clear that a person who re-marries while their ex spouse is still living, is in adultery. Your story proves NOTHING. TBN is filled with heretics, and yet those people are "blessed" with riches and prosperity, and they definitely display "amazing gifts" as well. Heck there are drug dealers and pimps that are "blessed," I suppose that proves biblical teaching to be wrong about fornication and drug use.

YOU are so unbelievable! you are obviously ignoring the rest of my posts, especially what Christ said, what is it like to contradict Christ?

Matthew 19 v9

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultry.

[Guest LadyC]

My point was thinking about repentence and the importance of what that really means particularly in the context of marriage and divorce.

What do you think? How does repentence relate to our actions in this area, what does it mean?

how does repentance relate to our actions? i repented of the wrongs i had committed, including but certainly not limited to my sexual improprieties, my marriage outside of God's will, my divorce, farther outside of God's will, (because marrying unwisely does not justify divorce), and then began walking forward with Christ, which is what repentance is. asking forgiveness of sin and living in it no longer. of course it was a long process to stop living a sexually immoral lifestyle, but the journey was well worth it.

and as God promises, He is faithful to forgive, and to cast our transgressions into the sea of forgetfulness, to be remembered by Him no more. is that what you were looking for? i really don't know how else to answer your question.

[Guest LadyC]

suzanne

You must have missed my post???

the post, i thought, was directed at me.... and i responded to it right away. so if you are asking this question of me, then no, i didn't miss your post, but you must have missed mine. if you were asking that of someone else, my apologies.

[ted]

"Let him that is without sin....."

t.

[Guest LadyC]

how conveniently this passage is forgotten by many who have a legalistic view:

1 cor 7: 27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

hmmm, what does that mean? if a man is married, he should not seek a new wife. if he is divorced, he should not seek a new wife. but AND IF he remarries, he has not sinned, anymore than a virgin marrying for the first time has sinned. therein lies GRACE... that little thing that God is so good at, and that we, as mere mortals, often are not. grace for he who repents. pretty much sums up what i've been saying, doesn't it?

however, and this is a big cautionary red flag to christians who have been divorced and remarry, their life isn't going to be peachy-keen.... but He will spare the person from the condemnation of adultery that would otherwise prevent him from entering heaven.

[Smalcald]

My point was thinking about repentence and the importance of what that really means particularly in the context of marriage and divorce.

What do you think? How does repentence relate to our actions in this area, what does it mean?

how does repentance relate to our actions? i repented of the wrongs i had committed, including but certainly not limited to my sexual improprieties, my marriage outside of God's will, my divorce, farther outside of God's will, (because marrying unwisely does not justify divorce), and then began walking forward with Christ, which is what repentance is. asking forgiveness of sin and living in it no longer. of course it was a long process to stop living a sexually immoral lifestyle, but the journey was well worth it.

and as God promises, He is faithful to forgive, and to cast our transgressions into the sea of forgetfulness, to be remembered by Him no more. is that what you were looking for? i really don't know how else to answer your question.

Yes it is a journey I totally agree.

I think what I am wrestling with in this area is that repentance means fighting the flesh, a turning. As you said we don't live any longer in the sin and the journey was away from the sin, not toward it. So we have scripture which indeed tells us that we are not to divorce, but we also have scripture saying that in cases of unfaithfulness, abandonment (I would include abuse under abandonment), marriage to a non-believer(abuse would again fall here as no believer would ever strike his wife) etc, yes we can divorce and be free and remarry.

But what do we do with a specific case for example in which we have a pastor meet someone in his congregation who is not his wife, this pastor has an affair with her, then divorces his wife and marries this new women. Now is that okay for the pastor to do, as long as he asks for forgiveness after her marries the new women? To me this is a case of planned repentance which is no repentance at all, and I think shows a lack of faith and is very dangerous to our spiritual well being. Is that pastor free to marry the new women? For me I would say no. This pastor today is a major televangelist.

At the same time we all sin and all receive forgiveness. I don't have an easy answer, that is why I asked what you thought, and I think you and I basically agree.

[Guest LadyC]

Yes it is a journey I totally agree.

I think what I am wrestling with in this area is that repentance means fighting the flesh, a turning. As you said we don't live any longer in the sin and the journey was away from the sin, not toward it. So we have scripture which indeed tells us that we are not to divorce, but we also have scripture saying that in cases of unfaithfulness, abandonment (I would include abuse under abandonment), marriage to a non-believer(abuse would again fall here as no believer would ever strike his wife) etc, yes we can divorce and be free and remarry.

But what do we do with a specific case for example in which we have a pastor meet someone in his congregation who is not his wife, this pastor has an affair with her, then divorces his wife and marries this new women. Now is that okay for the pastor to do, as long as he asks for forgiveness after her marries the new women? To me this is a case of planned repentance which is no repentance at all, and I think shows a lack of faith and is very dangerous to our spiritual well being. Is that pastor free to marry the new women? For me I would say no. This pastor today is a major televangelist.

At the same time we all sin and all receive forgiveness. I don't have an easy answer, that is why I asked what you thought, and I think you and I basically agree.

first, please scroll up and read my last post, which i think i posted simultaneously to yours... that will answer some of your question.

secondly, in the case of a pastor who meets someone, has an affair, repents, remarries..... it is not up to US to judge the state of his heart, or his repentance. was it planned? did the pastor justify his actions with the 'i'll be forgiven' escape clause? maybe, maybe not. he may very well have truly been repentant, even though it would certainly seem questionable. but that is entirely between him and God.

HOWEVER, also in that passage i quoted, it makes it clear that even though he has repented, he's not going to escape difficulties. it says in the flesh... not just of the flesh. in his life on earth, he will not have the easiest of times. and losing his position in the church would certainly be an example of that, wouldn't it?

it's still not up to the church to judge the former pastor's heart. yet they DO have the authority to hold him accountable for his actions. i do believe that the pastor should lose his position permanently. that is the consequence of his actions. it doesn't mean that his former congregation should never forgive him, but he has lost the authority to lead them.

[tsth]

So if each of us is struggling with something, I have to ask myself why there are still people who want to make people who have been divorced feel like damaged goods? What is the motivation? I know it's not done out of love.

I wasn't trying to make anyone feel like damaged goods, (especially since I know what divorce is), I was merely pointing out that just because the teaching is uncomfortable, doesn't mean that we stop talking about it. We need to understand biblical truths about marriage and divorce, so that we can teach our children CORRECTLY, regardless of what WE have done. This is a "right" thing to do, but people get so defensive, that the teachings can't even be discussed because someone gets their feelings hurt. (Don't forget, I said I have been divorced, but, I now have an entirely different understanding about marriage and divorce and I do NOT want my kids to grow up with the same mindset that the majority in this culture have, regarding divorce. I believe it is a WRONG mentality. I also believe I WAS WRONG.

In His Love,

Suzanne

[FighterforJC]

If God dissaproved of Divorce so much and has , acording to you fighter, condemed all Divorced people who marry again, why has God blessed a Christian couple who both had previous marriages , and given them some amazing gifts and ministry? this alone proves your ridiculous false teaching wrong.

You are arguing from perhaps experience and know of people with "amazing gifts and ministry." but you cannot contend with the teaching of Scriptures that divorce is wrong, God said "I HATE divorce," and Paul made it clear that a person who re-marries while their ex spouse is still living, is in adultery. Your story proves NOTHING. TBN is filled with heretics, and yet those people are "blessed" with riches and prosperity, and they definitely display "amazing gifts" as well. Heck there are drug dealers and pimps that are "blessed," I suppose that proves biblical teaching to be wrong about fornication and drug use.

YOU are so unbelievable! you are obviously ignoring the rest of my posts, especially what Christ said, what is it like to contradict Christ?

Matthew 19 v9

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultry.

It's okay, I'm sure the god you created in your own image fully agrees with you!