The "Good" Christian

[cjrose]

Love your sister, and don't expect anything in return. Love her to the Lord. Whenever you sense some enmity from her side, try to overcome it with love, and be overwhelmingly kind to her. Never take offence. "21Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." Read 1 Corinthians chapter 13, and that will give you an idea how we should love each other.

Thank you for that. I think she is the only one I have expectations of because I do love without wanting anything in return. I just realized I am continuing to do the same thing with her and expecting different results. I went to sleep crying tears while repentence, sincerely sorry for my sins. I wanted everything cleansed so I can see clearly to forgive her and let go of the resentments that I had expected of her growing up but shouldn't have put the burden of me upon her as she was going through her own life with our family in a different way.

This is really helping brothers and sisters. I felt compelled to post this situation and I'm getting feedback that is spoken by the inspiration of the Lord through you so keep it commin'!!

God Bless you all

[Guest man]

I am trying so hard to reconcile with this and begging the Lord to help me let go my resentments which I thought I had but I have to get this out and I really need some feedback here.

What are these resentments you speak of?

I'll try and keep this brief. I lost my first child and the doctors did not know why I had a premature birth. My second time around nearly lost him too and was in bed for four months, third time had a miscarriage, then the next two they recognized the problem and were okay but still fragile.

Seven months into my third and last pregnancy, our mother had a stroke. It's not like we talked everyday but I would check in on her. Sis was coming up for a visit the day I hadn't heard from our mother and so she went to the house in the late afternoon and realized something was wrong. FD and PD came to break down the door and bring mom to the ER and in the middle of the ER she screamed at me in front of everyone it was my fault our mother had a stroke and if I was there at 5:00 AM where I'm usually with my family sleeping at the time, she wouldn't have been so bad. She was cruel, a monster in her uncontrollable and undeserved anger toward me, especially in my condition. I just knew I went out to my car and sobbed so hard and felt so alone starting to believe it was my fault.

She had a stroke. How could I possibly be responsible ? That's really the biggest thing and she never apologized seeing how upset I was and yet she didn't shed a tear. I am serious, her heart is like stone.

It's not your fault that your mother got sick, so put that out of your head.

I hope I'm not out of line here, but I think your sister is not very happy with her life. I think she has some insecurities and she uses her anger to cover them. Her heart of stone hides her weakness' and protects her from the outside world.

Deep down, I think she's a hurting unit. I don't have much to go on here, but I think she wants what you have. I'm not talking about the God thing, but just life in general.

What I would do if I were you is give it to God. When someone is mean to you and says things that are hurtful, it's hard to put those things out of your head. Find a nice quiet spot and pour your heart out to God. He knows your hurting, but tell'em anyway. Ask Him for that Spirit of peace, that Spirit of comfort. Pray for your sister. Ask Him to touch her heart. Ask Him to comfort her soul and give her the peace she so desperately needs.

The Lords Prayer is a good place to start. I know a lot of people think it's just vain repetition but it works for me and I know it'll work for you.

That's all I really got for now...don't let this stuff eat away at you....it's just the devil messin with your head.

So yeah, you have a god one...and don't worry, it'll all work itself out....you'll see.

[LadyRaven]

I am trying so hard to reconcile with this and begging the Lord to help me let go my resentments which I thought I had but I have to get this out and I really need some feedback here.

What are these resentments you speak of?

I'll try and keep this brief. I lost my first child and the doctors did not know why I had a premature birth. My second time around nearly lost him too and was in bed for four months, third time had a miscarriage, then the next two they recognized the problem and were okay but still fragile.

Seven months into my third and last pregnancy, our mother had a stroke. It's not like we talked everyday but I would check in on her. Sis was coming up for a visit the day I hadn't heard from our mother and so she went to the house in the late afternoon and realized something was wrong. FD and PD came to break down the door and bring mom to the ER and in the middle of the ER she screamed at me in front of everyone it was my fault our mother had a stroke and if I was there at 5:00 AM where I'm usually with my family sleeping at the time, she wouldn't have been so bad. She was cruel, a monster in her uncontrollable and undeserved anger toward me, especially in my condition. I just knew I went out to my car and sobbed so hard and felt so alone starting to believe it was my fault.

She had a stroke. How could I possibly be responsible ? That's really the biggest thing and she never apologized seeing how upset I was and yet she didn't shed a tear. I am serious, her heart is like stone.

That stone heart is a defense mechanism. So is her lashing out. She has something which has ruined her inside. I don't know if you know what it is or not but it might do you good to consider that when she acts like a total jerk. she has been left with the belief that to be vulnerable, even with family, is too risky. I've been there and it's still painful even if she doesn't appear to feel pain. Her yelling at you was her way of being sad, fwiw.

Allowing her to see you for who you are, and you loving her even when she is unlovable is the greatest testimony you can give to the work of Christ in you. She is more apt to open over time than to open up all at once. There is a subtile art of being able to make statements which make a person want to know more about something without being threatening. If you can learn that, it would be helpful. You could then share and she'd not feel the need to be defensive because she was the one who controls the convo in the first place (or so she thinks).

Don't give up on her and don't be so hard on YOU. Christ will finish what he started and she will see it for what it really is.

[Heavnlyfragrance]

Sis

As you found out last night I have had a LOT of people hurt me when I needed them the most. I can count the number of times that I have been apologized to on one hand.... I didnt know how to let go of the hurt and resentment I buried it deep inside I became very bitter and a murder at heart ....I was about 19 at the time..maybe a little younger... God had delt with me on that...and I not only had to forgive them for what they did to me...but God told me I had to ask their forgivness for what I did to them even though they didnt know anything about it ....it was about a year later when some of those same people deeply hurt me again....and sad to say it was my family......

Getting past the hurt and forgiving isnt easy...I never would have been able to do it if I wasn't for God helping me every step of the way.......it took me a long long time but I was able to get to the point where I could forgive the guy that raped me and I'm praying for his salvation... do I trust him no way!!.... forgiving someone doesnt make them right, it only sets your free to be able to heal from the hurt.

[Floatingaxe]

Sis

As you found out last night I have had a LOT of people hurt me when I needed them the most. I can count the number of times that I have been apologized to on one hand.... I didnt know how to let go of the hurt and resentment I buried it deep inside I became very bitter and a murder at heart ....I was about 19 at the time..maybe a little younger... God had delt with me on that...and I not only had to forgive them for what they did to me...but God told me I had to ask their forgivness for what I did to them even though they didnt know anything about it ....it was about a year later when some of those same people deeply hurt me again....and sad to say it was my family......

Getting past the hurt and forgiving isnt easy...I never would have been able to do it if I wasn't for God helping me every step of the way.......it took me a long long time but I was able to get to the point where I could forgive the guy that raped me and I'm praying for his salvation... do I trust him no way!!.... forgiving someone doesnt make them right, it only sets your free to be able to heal from the hurt.

Love you, Heather!

[volleyballplayer22]

What is your definition of a "good" Christian.

1. Can we lose our temper?

2. Can we stand up for what is right and speak out?

3. Do we really turn the other cheek to be slapped?

4. Can we feel unfullfilled in our marriage?

5. If we divorce, are we bad Christians?

6. If we continue to sin out of human nature, are we still saved?

1. Rightouesly, (ex: Jesus in the tabernacle)

2. Of course we can

3. We should defend ourselves, but never hit back out of anger

4. If so, we should seek help

5. I believe there are exceptions to divorce. it says somewhere in the Bible, i just forgot the passage...

6. If we ask God to forgive our sins, then yes

[Candi770]

CJ,

A "good" Christian- no one is good- no not one!! Only Father God is good, He holds all your answers!! Jesus Christ is your source-it is through what he did on the cross for you-that makes you righteous before the Father. You can't attain it on your own, you can't earn it. Jesus paid a heavy price for it. He is your righteousness.

Can we lose our temper? Yes (oh me) we can be angry, but we should not sin with that anger. We must allow Jesus to correct us and calm us down, and pray for a spirit of self control.

Can we stand up for what is right and speak out? Yes, if the Lord tells us to warn another and we don't and thereby they die in their sin-and are in Hell- Their blood is on our hands and the Lord will require it of us. But if we warn them and they turn or don't turn from their wicked ways-then we are not guilty of anything wrong.

Again-we must be lead of the Holy Spirit and not our flesh. We must go where he leads us and speak when he wants us to speak.

About cheek slapping-I don't have a full understanding on that one.

Can we feel unfulfilled in our marriage? If you're asking me, you know the answer-YES-because Jesus is the answer, he will bring fulness to our life. We should alway pray for our spouse and ask God to renew us. I struggle with this, that doesn't make me less a child of God, I pray that I will be more blessed, but God's grace is sufficent. Trust God.

If we continue to sin out of human nature, are we still saved?

Well, I believe we are right with God or we are not. It doesn't take more than asking to get back in his graces, but you can't do it all alone, ask Him to help you with the sin issue-He made you, He knows you, He's got the answer. I tell him: I can't handle this, I can't do it alone, you must help me-you are my source-I have no others-I'll wait on you. I'll ask him for his strength-he gives it to me.

Stay continually in prayer concerning all things.

People will be ugly to us, but that doesn't make us ugly, it doesn't matter what they have to say. It matters only who the Lord says we are. Will they be present before the Lord, when you give account of your life. No-they can't be-we stand alone. Who are they-mere flesh and blood. And please remember that the devil uses those who are close to us!! It's really not the person setting in front of you who is the enemy. Pray for Her she needs mercy.

***I know your an intercessor. When someone like the above is on my mind and heart-although it hurts, the Lord is actually calling me to pray. He will call me to pray for someone that has really done a number on me, and by faith, I had forgiven them in the past, but I remembered the pain, it hurt again, and I would feel the burden to pray=but my flesh would want to dwell on the negitive they did to me=then I finally said; oh yea, you do want me to pray!! It never fails, I find out later they were going through something tremendous in their life and they did need prayer.

Someone right now is heavy on my heart and I finally got it and started praying right away.

Let all those nasty things she did fall on the ground and forgive her, not only for her sake, but for yours; why continue to allow it to rule your life.

Until the Lord strengthens you, limit your time around her, while it may be fresh. If you know you will be going around her pray for the both of you and maintain forgiveness and walk in Love. God will deal with her, but truely=you want God's mercy to save her from her deeds-she did mess with a child of God. And no you were not responsible for your mothers stroke, if something would have happened to your babe=your sister would have been responsible. But praise God, He watched over your seed!!!

Ask the Holy Spirit allow you to speak what he wants and be silent on other points when witnessing to her. Have you ever considered that she hasn't earned the right to hear the pearls God has given you (not saying that with sarcasm=but why cast pearls before those who will do nothing but tramble it) (unless God tells you to speak it, keep silent.

CJ, Don't give up=Do you know how much you blessed me, I consider you my sister and much more precious than a real one. God's got better things for you than the world could ever give you just because He Loves you!!

Do you really know how much you blessed me with prayer? God has been bringing things into full circle=we have lots more room for God to move=But I know; you have been a blessings.

So God: Double the blessing my sister CJ gave to me. Look up sis= Jesus is coming!!!

Blessings

Love ya

SIS IN SPIRIT AND IN HEART

Candi

[cjrose]

Thank you all my brothers and sisters who I love dearly for your wise words and contribuition out of love for my situation and I don't want to burden anyone anymore with this but I will say that each and everyone of you have helped me more than you know to see things from a different perspective.

I thank you for your love and support from the bottom of my heart. And man and Lady, you're probably right, there is something deeper hurting her and I think, man, you are correct, she does want what I have and yet she can have the unattainable if she puts her mind to it. I've always admired her brilliance and indepenedance and it seemed like she could move mountains and make it look easy. But I've just always felt like a thorn in her side and have never met her extremely high standards.

I know deep in my heart our mothers stroke is not my fault but somehow feel responsibile that maybe I could have done something to find her sooner. But that's over with and I know it's not something I should be dwelling on. She's in a better place as I had two years to witness to her before she actually died. When she died, they called me since I was close proximity and stayed up all night with her knowing she was dying there but she would look at me and nod her head, tried to squeeze my hand, closed her eyes and layed there while her breathing became more labored. I was awake ALL night until about 9:00 am I closed my eyes for about 15 mins and she left me as my cousin came in to wake me at 9:30 to tell me she was gone. I found that she knew and waited for me slip into unconciousness to spare me the pain of her transition and the stop of the beating of her heart.

All of your words have so much more meaning to me and I so appreciate it and for taking the time to respond to this. I am very reluctant to post my situations here as I would rather encourage and try and uplift my Worthy family but this was so heavy on my heart that I believe God gave me the message to get support from those that love you. Since then, I am going to stay away from her for a while. I am not going to dwell on this anymore, still love her, pray for her and let God do His work which I always knew He would but in the meantime aren't we here to support and love each other? I can't control her anymore than anyone else and I just pray she can give that coveted control to Jesus and her cold heart is filled with the warmth and peace and joy we know as Christians.

You are all blessings to me. A humble thank you again.

[cjrose]

((((((((((((Candi))))))))))))) Thank you, so much

[cjrose]

((((((((((frags))))))))))) Last night was awesome talking with you. I know you are hurting and you know I'm there for you always. Thank you!