My Pastor Had an Affair

[TreyM]

Sexual misconduct. One of the most devastating thing that can happen to a church is for one of its leaders (minister, youth minister, elder, pastor) to get caught in a sexual relationship outside his marriage. When this does take place churches feel betrayed, victims/survivors are often misunderstood and the families of all involved suffer greatly.

No one likes to talk about it, but it needs to be addressed.

If you think it couldn't happen in your church, ask the congregation at Westminster Presbyterian in Minneapolis. Their senior and associate ministers both had sexual affairs. Both were married. Sooner or later every church may have to deal with someone in leadership who falls into sin and has an extramarital affair.

Who gets hurt when this happens?

* God

* The person the minister is involved with

* The minister

* The families of both parties

* The minister's wife

* The other person's spouse

* The minister's children

* The other person's children

* The church

* Our testimony & witness for Christ

* Our faith & trust

So What are the Issues to we Have to Deal With?

What Is the Church to do?

What's the Preacher/ Pastor/ Leader to do?

The rest of my post is on my blog this morning. I hope you'll swing by and tell me if you agree or not here on Worthy Boards.

(click above of see signature)

Blessings

[RedeemedByHim]

Sexual misconduct. One of the most devastating thing that can happen to a church is for one of its leaders (minister, youth minister, elder, pastor) to get caught in a sexual relationship outside his marriage. When this does take place churches feel betrayed, victims/survivors are often misunderstood and the families of all involved suffer greatly.

No one likes to talk about it, but it needs to be addressed.

If you think it couldn't happen in your church, ask the congregation at Westminster Presbyterian in Minneapolis. Their senior and associate ministers both had sexual affairs. Both were married. Sooner or later every church may have to deal with someone in leadership who falls into sin and has an extramarital affair.

Who gets hurt when this happens?

* God

* The person the minister is involved with

* The minister

* The families of both parties

* The minister's wife

* The other person's spouse

* The minister's children

* The other person's children

* The church

* Our testimony & witness for Christ

* Our faith & trust

So What are the Issues to we Have to Deal With?

What Is the Church to do?

What's the Preacher/ Pastor/ Leader to do?

The rest of my post is on my blog this morning. I hope you'll swing by and tell me if you agree or not here on Worthy Boards.

(click above of see signature)

Blessings

Yes, sadly it can happen to anyone. THat is one reason why I love my church. (I go to school through my church) OUr schooling does not just give us a bunch of head knowledge. It is also character building to go with it. That does not ean that any of us are above falling flat on our face. The devil will do anything. We must pray for pastors everywhere (and any minister.) and for the ones that have already messed up, we need to love them and continue to pray for them. We need to treat them the same we would treat anyone else. What happens most of the time is that the pastor is under alot of pressure because we put him up on this high pedastool and expect them to be perfect. Thanks for sharing..

[Guest]

What I think.

Trey, your blog is a timely call to Arms!

Our dear pastors are at the sharp end of the stick!

And we need to join them!

It Is War!

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." (Ephesians 6:12)

Our Brothers and our Sisters are under attack!

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:" (1 Peter 5:8)

Equip and Stand Fast

"Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil." (Ephesians 6:11)

"Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong." (1 Corinthians 16:13)

Pray

"Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." (Matthew 26:41)

Jesus won!

"He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil." (1 John 3:8)

Forgive

"Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?"

"Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:21-22)

"The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:"

"The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:"

"The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace." (Numbers 6:24-26)

"And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them." (Numbers 6:27)

Love, Joe

[Guest Biblicist]

My pastor says, "Pastors don't fall into sin. They jump in with both feet."

[Press Forward]

1 Corinthians 5 NIV

Expel the Immoral Brother!

1It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans: A man has his father's wife. 2And you are proud! Shouldn't you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this? 3Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. And I have already passed judgment on the one who did this, just as if I were present. 4When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, 5hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature[a] may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.

6Your boasting is not good. Don't you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough? 7Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast

[Wingwalker]

So far I agree with everything being said. Yes the sin affects many people, yes we need to pray for our church leaders.

Christians are being put in the spotlight in a huge way these days. Usually to expose dirty sins. I think the non christian population expects Christians to be perfect and when we mess up, no matter how big or small, its pointed out in hopes of justifying the non Christians own actions IMO, or to show that there is no need for a god. Either way, I believe that there are two things that top my list that we as Christians can do. #1) Pray, and pray with out ceasing; and#2) focus our lives to line up with God's will. Each of us is responsible for our relationship with Him. We will get out of it what we put into it.

Then there is the other stuff which, dont get me wrong, but the fellowship and building each other up, praying for, crying with, sharing with others.

After all, we are one big family, and we all have "chores" to do.

[salos]

The last study I read said that 39% of the pastors surveyed admit to having a regular problem with pornography. I could list quite a few stories I've heard of adultery and even rape in the church.

One youth pastor I know was at a youth gathering and he said he had to call the other youth pastors to task because so very many of them were flirting with the girls in their youth groups. When pastors start holding themselves and each other accountable, then things will improve. Not before.

[Phil.2:12]

Our former pastor had an affair with the worship leader's wife and, being an elder in that church, I was one of those who had to confront him finally about his extra-marital activities, The affair had been going on for about two years and he had been confronted several times about this situatlon. He constantly lied about it until finally the evidence became overwhelming. He was relieved of his duties by the elders and and continued to lie about the affair. Finally, he resigned. It cost us our Pastor, and a lot of grief within the community. It cost him his marraige, and finally the love of the woman involved with him in the affair. He never pastored another church again, so it also cost him his ministry. That is a situation I don't ever want to be a part of again.

If you will notice, most of the big name pastors that have fallen in the last 10 years or so (think Jimmy Swaggart types) have all been guilty of some sexual sin that finally caused them to lose their ministry, the last one being Ted Haggerd. Because these men are doing what God wants them to do and, generally, are quite successful, the devil must stop them any way he can. Since all human beings are, deep within, sexual beings (the basis for procreation) it becomes an avenue of temptation that Satan fully exploits in his desire to stop any man of God from accomplishing that which He has given His servant to do. Indeed, ALL pastors need our prayer support because the pastorate can be a very lonely place at times and when one is weakened by circumstances, it is quite easy to give in to temptation. When you pour your heart and soul into a message to give to your flock and only a small handful show up, it can be very discouraging to the pastor. Having pastored in the past, I well know the feelings and temptations our pastors are subjected to and is all the more reason why we need to lift them up in pur prayers. Instead of going home from church to a dinner of Roast Preacher (picking apart the sermon and him as well) why not spend that time in prayer for the shepard whom God has given to supervise the flock at your church?

[Oh Hamburgers!]

What the OP said was true, people in power having sexual affairs etc affects everyone around negatively. It is sad. But we must also remember that everyone is human, everyone sins, and no one except Jesus is perfect.

While faith in church can be shaken, we must remember that we are all men, and while members of the church can falter, God cannot.

[Arash_the_archer]

This is no worse than any man having an affair. Pastors are not more holy or close to god, they are just people in the eyes of god. He is not someone to look up to, unless its a cult.