What do you think of women?

[ladypeartree]

ghosty there is " working "...as in getting yourself lots of attention to any girl and then there is "working " as in getting you attention from the right girl

Sometimes you sacrifice your chance of getting to know the right girl for the whole of your life just for the fleeting chance of playing "the big man"

Be carfull of playing with emotions and lives by pretending to be what you are not ..it can backfire and cause you so much harm

[Eliyahuw]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding you here, but to me, even if a person were to marry someone they were not "in love with" or that is "not their soulmate," it still seems to me that the things TheoMike said would still apply.

Respect is earned. It just doesn't happen. You can't love someone without respecting them. Nor can they be a soulmate without respecting them. You can however be married with no respect for the other person!

Are you saying we shouldn't treat someone with respect because we aren't in love with them?

No, i am saying that 9 times out of 10 there wasn't any respect to start with and without that, you can't love them. It's not possible. ANd if you don't love them, or at least be best friends or a soulmate with them, you can't grow love from nothing. And most likely there will be nothing there to respect.

There are likely a lot of people that got married because of pregnancy or for convenience that still were able to have a happy marriage. I think if you show your spouce love, regardless of the circumstances, it can only have a possitive effect. I agree with everything Theomike said in that post.

Been there thought i could grow love that wasn't there, doesn't happen! It generally breeds contempt. You have to have something to start with. Anyone getting married because they got the woman pregnant is making another stupid mistake that will cost them dearly. It is never best to marry because of that. Marraige of convenience? What is that? Its not marraige thats for sure!

Unless God puts the two together it isn't marraige, its fornication. I am not talking about the Govt approved licenses or the "Church made" weddings. THose are not marraiges.

Marraige is when God puts two together and they become one, and if he doesn't put the two together, its not a marraige.

[Kabowd]

Respect is earned, yes, but it is also a command. Love is not a feeling, it's a choice.

[TheoMike]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding you here, but to me, even if a person were to marry someone they were not "in love with" or that is "not their soulmate," it still seems to me that the things TheoMike said would still apply.

Respect is earned. It just doesn't happen. You can't love someone without respecting them. Nor can they be a soulmate without respecting them. You can however be married with no respect for the other person!

Are you saying we shouldn't treat someone with respect because we aren't in love with them?

No, i am saying that 9 times out of 10 there wasn't any respect to start with and without that, you can't love them. It's not possible. ANd if you don't love them, or at least be best friends or a soulmate with them, you can't grow love from nothing. And most likely there will be nothing there to respect.

There are likely a lot of people that got married because of pregnancy or for convenience that still were able to have a happy marriage. I think if you show your spouce love, regardless of the circumstances, it can only have a possitive effect. I agree with everything Theomike said in that post.

Been there thought i could grow love that wasn't there, doesn't happen! It generally breeds contempt. You have to have something to start with. Anyone getting married because they got the woman pregnant is making another stupid mistake that will cost them dearly. It is never best to marry because of that. Marraige of convenience? What is that? Its not marraige thats for sure!

Unless God puts the two together it isn't marraige, its fornication. I am not talking about the Govt approved licenses or the "Church made" weddings. THose are not marraiges.

Marraige is when God puts two together and they become one, and if he doesn't put the two together, its not a marraige.

I'm going to have to dissagree with you. I do think that pregnancy is a very good reason to marry. A child should have both of his or her parents to raise them. I also know there are people who have arranged marriages, and marriages to escape being lonely that have worked. The idea that "unless God puts the two together it isn't marriage, it's fornication" is ridiculous. He joins two people together when they say "I Do."

I absolutely agree. It is wonderful when two people marry who are head over heels in love and are able to maintain that kind of love for the duration. However, marriage is also a contract between two people. A contract that doesn't necessarily involve romance or even love. There are many "arranged" marriages or marriages of convenience where two people share a life, children, finances, a home, etc and are happy with what they have. Many cultures in the world are not so hung up on romance as we are in North America. Which is good, because romance dries up pretty fast. Love is what remains. And who's to say what form love takes? Does it take form of respect, good manners, consideration? Or is it some kind of feeling we have to gin up? Interesting thought. I like your post, butero.

[Smalcald]

I agree Butaro.

The problem with the idea is that I think it is a false notion and does great damage to many marriages. The people I see getting divorced are usually very romantic emotional people, they are always falling in love.

Nowhere does God promise us perfect romantic harmony. What I see happening is that people have a false notion of love being somehow this overwhelming romantic, emotional and physical attraction, which indeed many times love will include that, but it does not have to, and if that is all you have in love; you are doomed in marriage. Because what happens is that people feel this strong attraction, this idea of a soul mate in every way and thus God must have put us together. Well they marry, then guess what, five or ten or even twenty years down the road they feel the same feelings for someone else, well gee that must mean the first one was a mistake and I must "follow my heart" because God is now leading me to my true soul mate, and suddenly I forget the promise made to God. That first promise to God and our families and Church, was what made the marriage, not our feelings or emotions or attractions.

[Eliyahuw]

Respect is earned, yes, but it is also a command. Love is not a feeling, it's a choice.

No its not a choice. Show me where it is a choice? Love is born inside of a person, not commanded. it cannot be commanded, not possible.

Someone wants to try and command me to respect someone else, it ain't going to happen. Respect has to be earned. Even the Marines can't command or beat it into you. It is earned through trust. trust is earned through the other persons actions toward you. So no you cannot command respect.

[Eliyahuw]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding you here, but to me, even if a person were to marry someone they were not "in love with" or that is "not their soulmate," it still seems to me that the things TheoMike said would still apply.

Respect is earned. It just doesn't happen. You can't love someone without respecting them. Nor can they be a soulmate without respecting them. You can however be married with no respect for the other person!

Are you saying we shouldn't treat someone with respect because we aren't in love with them?

No, i am saying that 9 times out of 10 there wasn't any respect to start with and without that, you can't love them. It's not possible. ANd if you don't love them, or at least be best friends or a soulmate with them, you can't grow love from nothing. And most likely there will be nothing there to respect.

There are likely a lot of people that got married because of pregnancy or for convenience that still were able to have a happy marriage. I think if you show your spouce love, regardless of the circumstances, it can only have a possitive effect. I agree with everything Theomike said in that post.

Been there thought i could grow love that wasn't there, doesn't happen! It generally breeds contempt. You have to have something to start with. Anyone getting married because they got the woman pregnant is making another stupid mistake that will cost them dearly. It is never best to marry because of that. Marraige of convenience? What is that? Its not marraige thats for sure!

Unless God puts the two together it isn't marraige, its fornication. I am not talking about the Govt approved licenses or the "Church made" weddings. THose are not marraiges.

Marraige is when God puts two together and they become one, and if he doesn't put the two together, its not a marraige.

I'm going to have to dissagree with you. I do think that pregnancy is a very good reason to marry. A child should have both of his or her parents to raise them.

Again thats a very lousy reason to get married. If they do not love each other then its nothing but divorce waiting to happen at a later date.

I also know there are people who have arranged marriages, and marriages to escape being lonely that have worked.

Maybe it did, again its still one of the worst reasons to get married. I have been there done that twice. It doesn't work as a norm. I am not going to live with someone i don't love and put up with the results.

The idea that "unless God puts the two together it isn't marriage, it's fornication" is ridiculous. He joins two people together when they say "I Do."

Please show me where it says that in the bible! I can't seem to find that.

Below verses show that God is the one who joins them. The church doesn't, the state doesn't, and I do doesn't.

In fact, it says the two shall be one flesh. When they lay together it is the comittment made. Not any verbal. If God doesn't put the two together like he did in the beginning, its fornication.

Mar 10:8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

Mar 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

[Kabowd]

Respect is earned, yes, but it is also a command. Love is not a feeling, it's a choice.

No its not a choice. Show me where it is a choice? Love is born inside of a person, not commanded. it cannot be commanded, not possible.

Someone wants to try and command me to respect someone else, it ain't going to happen. Respect has to be earned. Even the Marines can't command or beat it into you. It is earned through trust. trust is earned through the other persons actions toward you. So no you cannot command respect.

On this you are completely wrong. Love is a choice, not a feeling. If it were not something we could do, Jesus wouldn't have given it as the great commandment. Matthew 22:35-40

35 Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying,

36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

When a person gets married, in most cases, one of the wedding vows is to love the other person. If it is not possible to keep this commitment, why make a vow you couldn't keep? When I got married, we also promised to do so for better or for worse. It is possible to do this. The problem is that people today aren't willing to put forth the effort. Instead, when they get their feelings hurt, or lose that original romantic feeling they once had, they get a divorce and seek out someone else. That is wrong. First of all, the Bible tells us that God hates divorce, and secondly, it means breaking vows we took.

Exactly! You say it's not commanded, yet Christ calls it the Greatest Commandment. We're even told to love our enemies..which is obviously not something we'll "feel" or that they will earn. There are different levels of respect. What I'm talking about is basic respect for human life, and in the recognition that each person is created in the image of God. You don't have to respect a person's behavior, but you do have to respect the imago dei. This is the reason we are commanded not to murder one another. If we don't have this basic appreciation and respect for life, every commandment (as well as society) collapses.

[Eliyahuw]

On this you are completely wrong. Love is a choice, not a feeling. If it were not something we could do, Jesus wouldn't have given it as the great commandment. Matthew 22:35-40

Its simple You cannot love if you don't have christ in you. So the great commandment means nothing if your not a christian.

When a person gets married, in most cases, one of the wedding vows is to love the other person. If it is not possible to keep this commitment, why make a vow you couldn't keep?

If you don't love that person when you make it, its not even a vow. Its a lie so you can't possibly fulfil a lie.

When I got married, we also promised to do so for better or for worse. It is possible to do this.

Not always. Your going to sit there and let your spouse try to kill you and "love them" for it? I don't think so, if you do your not bright.

The problem is that people today aren't willing to put forth the effort.

Oh thats rich. Try 12 years of hell. Isn't that a effort?

Instead, when they get their feelings hurt, or lose that original romantic feeling they once had, they get a divorce and seek out someone else. That is wrong. First of all, the Bible tells us that God hates divorce, and secondly, it means breaking vows we took.

Yeah he also calls a spouse that doesn't support his family worse than a infidel.

God might hate divorce but he approved it. How do you break a vow you never ment in the first place??

I can tell ya, entering a marraige without love is doomed to start.

I grew up with two parents that loved each other more than life itself. They were married by God. They were chosen by God to be together. He put them together and to this day my mom still loves my dad and no other even though he died 11 years ago. She will never marry again.

So i know what love is, just never found it before cause i was too impatient.

You have to have it to begin with, you can't just conjure it up as you go along.

[Eliyahuw]

I don't know what you mean by "12 years of hell." I wasn't speaking about you personally, as I don't know your circumstances. I am just dissagreeing with your position on marriage. In addition, I thought I read in your profile that you were a man. As such, if you were speaking to your circumstance, how can you use the analogy of someone who won't support their family, when that responsiblity is given to the man and not the woman?

Not when the wifes spouse is unable to work. Then it falls on her shoulders.

By the way, God only allowed for divorce if adultery was involved. You need to re-read your Bible.

Adultery is mroe than sleeping with someone else. IT involves a breaking of trust in any form.

Also read your bible, it provides for more than just adultery.

Deu 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give [it] in her hand, and send her out of his house.

Deu 24:3 And [if] the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth [it] in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her [to be] his wife;

SO it would appear that you missed any uncleanness which would include abuse, as well as if you do not love your spouse even hate your spouse. Divorce is approved.