Domestic Abuse

[Adonai1]

from damo1

high again let me explaine why i stand on gods word and on gods word alone to tel some one to get back and live in the real world is foolish i was in an abusive home my self to the point wear i lied for the way my father was in my culture it was normal for men to behave like this and his rules wear if you did not like it get out i was abused from the age of 6 right up to the age of 14 and i put up with a lot not only did my father take his anger out on me he also took his anger out on my mother and my sister my dad was violent and i do not know how i survived his out bursts yet i feel it was god as my sister told me she saw an angel near my bed one night when i was crying i pain see old saying men had to put up with pain and wear not alowed to show there emotjons even at school i hid the marks on me as my dad would take an extention cord out on me and i had to bare it if i tried to defend my self i would be held down i was made to kneel on rice for an hour to the point wear i got sore i would often jump in the midle and protect my mother yet little did that do i caried this anger for a long time even when i was a christian my neighbours did not do a thing as wear i lived it was a mixed culture wear people would mind there own buisness the only person who tried to do some thing was an old school teacher yet i told him not to cal the police as it would be worse on me i left home when i was 14 yrs old i took my anger out on other males males who would take it out on the female friends around me as i was more comfterbal talking to women for some strange reason

when god came into my life he brought that up with the help of a good counsler who invited the holy spirit into the counsling session and threw deep digging as we dug at the root of the problem and once i did this i was able to be free

i know councel my self and walk with those that have been threw this so marnie to tel some one to live in the real world is foolish when you do not know nothing about them the person was asking for advice she is not married if you looked at her question close and i gave out advice yes divorce if this continues to the point wear the person wil not turn around i do not attac people i do not throw ther sin in there past i just do what christ did for me i was praying to get a chance to talk with my father yet he died i as i wanted to tel him i love him and i forgive him for the way he treated me yet i also thank god for watching over me as when i was living at home

so please do not go out attacking those that you do not know nothing about and tel them to live in the real world as when we do this we are not walking acordingly to gods word i was not atacking you at all and i do not know what brought this on

the people i deal with are from brokken homes and many have been in abusive sittuations to wear we have had to move the partner out of harms way i have even thrown my self in the ,midle of some sticky situations and when i ask god to move he moves as he is ther guiding

people should be able to express them selves with out being attacked and if something has not been dealt with then one needs to deal with it i am going home for the first time and i wil be spending this time with my step mother and wil be laying some flowers on my dads grave my mother has not forgiven him nor has my sister as they stil hold on to that hurt

god loves us and he is ther for us

from damo1

Hiya Damo1,

You have such a lovely heart and I am truly sorry for what you experienced. I can see that our Lord is using you with what you have experienced to help others. My God bless you mightly.

Estie

[Guest]

[Adonai1]

I stayed with my husband after a couple of incidents of abuse, and then the last time he abused me, I fought back, and seperated from him. In that time the Lord taught me the difference in subjection, and submission. I prayed and sought the Lord. It was not until the Lord told me to be reconciled with my husband, that i got back with him. It has been almost 5 years, and he has not been abusive towards me in that time we have been back together. There have been times in which, I have been ugly in an arguement, and had I been him, and a non-believer I might have hit me, but yet he hasn't.

You can't give a blanket answer to the question posed, because we are not the Holy Spirit.

I wonder how many people would end up knowing the Lord if one Christian was committed to praying for their salvation until death stopped them from doing so. Even if you are seperated from a person for 10 years, but yet you seek the Lord for that lost spouse , isn't the fruit of that Labor worth it? Oh I gues if God didn't whoo them in the alotted time of seperation before divorce was legal, then it wasn't his will for you to stay married.

I'm not saying the Lord won't tell someone to divorce, but I am saying unless the Lord has specifically told you to do so, then you are missing out on God's will for your life.

Hiya F8thNJesus,

Praise God for your awesome testimony.

Not everyone feels that they want their marriages to be restored but go on and divorce. I do not judge them. Whatever they decide that is between God and them.

But for me, I believe that praying for the spouse's salvation and trusting God is what is most important. I have read 100's of the most amazing restored marriage testimonies where nobody would have given these marriages a hope. No matter what has been shared here, as of course we are all entitled to sharing our opinion on this subject, it is really between that person and God at the end of the day. Your trust as a Christian is to be in the Living God and not man.

I am in this very situation. I have been separated from my husband for almost two years now, and I trust God with it all. I believe that God has called me to walk by faith and trust in Him alone for my husband's salvation and the restoration of our marriage.

I have often endured snide remarks and comments from others since trusting God for my marriage. But they no longer upset me, for a long time ago I thought about Noah and how he must have been ridiculed, laughed at, etc. when building the ark, but like him my trust is in the Livng God who controls all the circumstances of my life. He made me and He knows what is best for me.

By the way I have to give glory to God and say this has been the best time of my life for I have truly come to know and having a living relationship with my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

I have forgiven much and if Jesus forgave MUCH who am I to withhold forgiveness to my spouse.

Love

Estie

P.S. I have been preparing since 2005 an awesome book for God's glory (no money involved) regarding incredible marriages that God alone restored. Many of these abusive, adulterous, porn addicted, etc. spouses came to salvation as their spouses continued to pray and seek God for them.

[Marnie]

I think it is a sexual perversion and a sin.

However, when we start casting about for reasons for divorce it seems as if ANY reason will do today and then we jam it back into the bible looking for justification for something we already were going to do anyway. So in that case no that is not a scriptural excuse for a divorce. They have a problem in their marriage no doubt about that, but that is what marriage is, in sickness, health, bankruptcy and yes the sins of your spouse. Not having sex is not a reason for divorce, when we marry we get the other person warts and all.

Adultery is something specific, Christ speaks many times about not divorcing and He often gives no exceptions.

As far as abuse goes though one must leave the home and protect your self and your children but that is a seperate issue.

The problem is, you see, Jesus chose to use a word, pornea, that refers to all manner of sexual sin, not just adultery. There was another word, mocheuo, He could have used that refered just to adultery, but He didn't. It's Bible translators over the years who have decided Jesus must have meant adultery. I'm not saying Jesus didn't mean adultery, I just find curious His choice of words, assuming (as I hope we do) we believe in Verbal Plenary Inspiration; that every word was approved by the Holy Spirit.

[Smalcald]

But does Paul follow up with that same usage in his discussion about divorce? In several cases Jesus gives NO exceptions for divorce.

Could you give me a link to where you are getting the information on pornea versus adultery? It is interesting.

[damo1]

from damo1

thank you Adonaia1

i read what you said i am glad that the lord had restored your marraige with your husband and i read what you shared and i am sorry that you had to go threw that

even though things did not turn out for me wear i trusted the lord to restor my marraige both me and my x wife are very close friends

for some strange reason we are more close as friends than we wear as husband and wife as i did some foolish things and took what i also had for granted

when i am asked to share to men on this topic alone my x wife prays for me as i ring her and tell her wear i am going to be talking and i see god move in ways that just blows me away wear i have shared in churches people just listen as i do not beat around the bush and i am very open and honest ive seen tuff men cry and i have had women come up to me and say they wear touched by what i had shared

though i was nerves and for a while there i did not want to share when i was asked to yet also when i share i state this the glory goes to god alone for what he had done in my life

i am now being asked to share in the philippines next year as the women that the lord has put in my path is a single pastor and she has seven pastors under her i wil be speaking in one of there main jails in bacolod as one of her pastors under her does prison ministry

so thank you for the note you left me

from damo1

[Marnie]

But does Paul follow up with that same usage in his discussion about divorce? In several cases Jesus gives NO exceptions for divorce.

Could you give me a link to where you are getting the information on pornea versus adultery? It is interesting.

I can't give you a link, but if you own a Greek NT or even a Strong's, you can do a word search and word study on pornea and moichao (the correct spelling).

Accordin to Strongs: Pornea: "No. 4202, porneia

[Adonai1]

from damo1

thank you Adonaia1

i read what you said i am glad that the lord had restored your marraige with your husband and i read what you shared and i am sorry that you had to go threw that

even though things did not turn out for me wear i trusted the lord to restor my marraige both me and my x wife are very close friends

for some strange reason we are more close as friends than we wear as husband and wife as i did some foolish things and took what i also had for granted

when i am asked to share to men on this topic alone my x wife prays for me as i ring her and tell her wear i am going to be talking and i see god move in ways that just blows me away wear i have shared in churches people just listen as i do not beat around the bush and i am very open and honest ive seen tuff men cry and i have had women come up to me and say they wear touched by what i had shared

though i was nerves and for a while there i did not want to share when i was asked to yet also when i share i state this the glory goes to god alone for what he had done in my life

i am now being asked to share in the philippines next year as the women that the lord has put in my path is a single pastor and she has seven pastors under her i wil be speaking in one of there main jails in bacolod as one of her pastors under her does prison ministry

so thank you for the note you left me

from damo1

Hiya Damo1,

How wonderful that you and your wife are friends. That in itself is a blessing from our mighty God. It is great that you have such good communication with her.

May you continue to uplift and encourage all who God brings across your path. You never know what wonderful plans God has in mind for you.

May the Holy Spirit enable you to share with boldness in the Lord in the Philippines.

Love

Estie

[Smalcald]

But does Paul follow up with that same usage in his discussion about divorce? In several cases Jesus gives NO exceptions for divorce.

Could you give me a link to where you are getting the information on pornea versus adultery? It is interesting.

I can't give you a link, but if you own a Greek NT or even a Strong's, you can do a word search and word study on pornea and moichao (the correct spelling).

Accordin to Strongs: Pornea: "No. 4202, porneia

[Marnie]

Accordin to Strongs: Pornea: "No. 4202, porneia