Divorce and Re-Marriage

[kathmjoplin]

Well I will be 49 Nov 2nd and divorced for 11 years on Oct. 30. My ex-husband was abusive he hit or shoved me 3 times and called me 4 letter words because I gained weight. He also smoked and drank and sold a bunch of my jewelry, pawned my v.c.r. and my tv set and he was a real creep. Not only that but he had 3 affairs while we were married and I had a one night stand which I now very much regret and he used methamphetamines and hid it from me while we were married so I divorced him and was very angry and got a settlement 2 years after the divorce decree came out we had a house together which was why I got the money and I had to sign a quit claim deed to get the money. I chose not to have children he had 3 kids by his 1st ex-wife and I'm ex-wife no 2. I have a disability that is heriditary and I didn't want to pass it on to our kids. He has the same disability. I believe Jesus Christ has forgiven me for the affair and for getting divorced and am glad my ex is no longer in my life.

[Guest Greg Davies]

Well I will be 49 Nov 2nd and divorced for 11 years on Oct. 30. My ex-husband was abusive he hit or shoved me 3 times and called me 4 letter words because I gained weight. He also smoked and drank and sold a bunch of my jewelry, pawned my v.c.r. and my tv set and he was a real creep. Not only that but he had 3 affairs while we were married and I had a one night stand which I now very much regret and he used methamphetamines and hid it from me while we were married so I divorced him and was very angry and got a settlement 2 years after the divorce decree came out we had a house together which was why I got the money and I had to sign a quit claim deed to get the money. I chose not to have children he had 3 kids by his 1st ex-wife and I'm ex-wife no 2. I have a disability that is heriditary and I didn't want to pass it on to our kids. He has the same disability. I believe Jesus Christ has forgiven me for the affair and for getting divorced and am glad my ex is no longer in my life.

Tough stuff kathmjoplin. I'm happy that you have been able to move on and are free to re-marry if you find the right guy.

Hopefully, you are involved in a church that will help you heal and give you some godly guidelines if you become interested in someone else. You might be afraid of making the same mistake again, but in the Lord, you can trust Him to guide you and bless you with a godly man. Just wait on Him and He will strengthen your heart (Psalm 27:14). God bless, Greg.

[Guest Greg Davies]

However...I also think that the overall problem in the church of blurring the gender lines has greatly contributed to problems in the family unit.

Axxman,

Could you be more specific about the above comment?

Greg.

[Axxman]

However...I also think that the overall problem in the church of blurring the gender lines has greatly contributed to problems in the family unit.

Axxman,

Could you be more specific about the above comment?

Greg.

Sure....

I believe much of the church has taken on an egalitarian view...that is an Evangelical Feminism view...in regards to gender roles in the church.

Evangelical feminists teach that true equality requires equal ministry opportunities for both sexes. They believe that the submission of the woman in marriage and womanly restrictions in Christian ministry are inconsistent with the true picture of biblical equality. According to the evangelical feminist view, true biblical equality assures that both men and women are full and equal partners in life. The concept of mutual submission and responsibility determines the relationship between men and women in both marriage and the church. Women and men are free to exercise in the church any and all gifts they possess. Men hold no unique, leadership-authority role solely because of their gender. Leadership and teaching in the church is to be determined by spiritual gift and ability, not gender.

I believe that the churches adoption of egalitarianism (even in part) has blurred the gender roles in the church and has undermined the success of the family unit.

[OneLight]

However...I also think that the overall problem in the church of blurring the gender lines has greatly contributed to problems in the family unit.

Axxman,

Could you be more specific about the above comment?

Greg.

Sure....

I believe much of the church has taken on an egalitarian view...that is an Evangelical Feminism view...in regards to gender roles in the church.

Evangelical feminists teach that true equality requires equal ministry opportunities for both sexes. They believe that the submission of the woman in marriage and womanly restrictions in Christian ministry are inconsistent with the true picture of biblical equality. According to the evangelical feminist view, true biblical equality assures that both men and women are full and equal partners in life. The concept of mutual submission and responsibility determines the relationship between men and women in both marriage and the church. Women and men are free to exercise in the church any and all gifts they possess. Men hold no unique, leadership-authority role solely because of their gender. Leadership and teaching in the church is to be determined by spiritual gift and ability, not gender.

I believe that the churches adoption of egalitarianism (even in part) has blurred the gender roles in the church and has undermined the success of the family unit.

I asked a Bible teacher about this once and the reply I got was that God would use anyone He wanted to. If a man would not step up, then He would use a woman. I never gave it a second thought after this explanation. Now that I have returned to God, I seem to be wondering the same things. Is it Biblical for a woman to hold office?

[Guest Greg Davies]

Evangelical feminists teach that true equality requires equal ministry opportunities for both sexes. They believe that the submission of the woman in marriage and womanly restrictions in Christian ministry are inconsistent with the true picture of biblical equality. According to the evangelical feminist view, true biblical equality assures that both men and women are full and equal partners in life. The concept of mutual submission and responsibility determines the relationship between men and women in both marriage and the church. Women and men are free to exercise in the church any and all gifts they possess. Men hold no unique, leadership-authority role solely because of their gender. Leadership and teaching in the church is to be determined by spiritual gift and ability, not gender.

I believe that the churches adoption of egalitarianism (even in part) has blurred the gender roles in the church and has undermined the success of the family unit.

That is a very well composed explaination. By labeling this view "evangelical feminism", I can assume that you reject the principle of it?

There are too many scriptual examples of women in leadership roles, from Deborah and Huldah in the O.T. to the seven daughters of Philip who prophecied, Priscilla, and the elect lady in II John, as N.T. examples, to conclude women cannot be church leaders. As an interesting point, in Romans 16:13, Paul, who wrote I Cor 14, mentions Priscilla before Aquila, which in the culture of the time was significant in terms of respect and honor.

I believe Paul in I Cor 14, in the context of the chapter, is addressing a problem of disorder in the Corinthian church, not giving a blanket prohibition against women speaking in church. How could Philip's daughters prophecy if not in church, according to I Cor. 14?

The I Timothy 2 scriptures, again written by Paul, can only make sense and be in harmony with the rest of scripture if we understand it in terms of the WOMAN usurping authority. If the authority is God ordained as in the case of Deborah, Huldah, Priscilla, ect., then we as men better not fight against God.

In the home, scripture is clear on the man's authority as the head of the home just as Christ is Head of the Church (Eph 5) and the wife is to submit to the husband with this caveat: "as unto the Lord". In Col. 3:18 we find a similar condition for submission, that is, "as is fit in the Lord". A woman has a responsiblily to lead a godly life irrespective of her husband's possible lack of godliness. Her "chaste conversation" (I Peter 3:1,2) or godly lifestyle is to be uncompromised by her husband. She, before the Lord, is not required to sin to please her husband. That's called "the curse" and it's a bondage that Jesus has freed us from for He became a curse for us (Galatians 3:13).

The fact that some women may have used their liberty in Christ (Galatians 3:28) to rebel against godly husbands is not the church's fault and the church should not be weakened by the women's giftings and annointings being restricted.

As Paul said in I Corinthians 14:40: Let all things be done, decently and in order.

Greg.

[None]

I believe Paul in I Cor 14, in the context of the chapter, is addressing a problem of disorder in the Corinthian church, not giving a blanket prohibition against women speaking in church.

Wow, I think you've got a good point there.

[Axxman]

That is a very well composed explaination. By labeling this view "evangelical feminism", I can assume that you reject the principle of it?

There are too many scriptual examples of women in leadership roles, from Deborah and Huldah in the O.T. to the seven daughters of Philip who prophecied, Priscilla, and the elect lady in II John, as N.T. examples, to conclude women cannot be church leaders. As an interesting point, in Romans 16:13, Paul, who wrote I Cor 14, mentions Priscilla before Aquila, which in the culture of the time was significant in terms of respect and honor.

I believe Paul in I Cor 14, in the context of the chapter, is addressing a problem of disorder in the Corinthian church, not giving a blanket prohibition against women speaking in church. How could Philip's daughters prophecy if not in church, according to I Cor. 14?

The I Timothy 2 scriptures, again written by Paul, can only make sense and be in harmony with the rest of scripture if we understand it in terms of the WOMAN usurping authority. If the authority is God ordained as in the case of Deborah, Huldah, Priscilla, ect., then we as men better not fight against God.

In the home, scripture is clear on the man's authority as the head of the home just as Christ is Head of the Church (Eph 5) and the wife is to submit to the husband with this caveat: "as unto the Lord". In Col. 3:18 we find a similar condition for submission, that is, "as is fit in the Lord". A woman has a responsiblily to lead a godly life irrespective of her husband's possible lack of godliness. Her "chaste conversation" (I Peter 3:1,2) or godly lifestyle is to be uncompromised by her husband. She, before the Lord, is not required to sin to please her husband. That's called "the curse" and it's a bondage that Jesus has freed us from for He became a curse for us (Galatians 3:13).

The fact that some women may have used their liberty in Christ (Galatians 3:28) to rebel against godly husbands is not the church's fault and the church should not be weakened by the women's giftings and annointings being restricted.

As Paul said in I Corinthians 14:40: Let all things be done, decently and in order.

Greg.

Interestingly enough...I don't necessarily disagree with the points you made. However, I don't believe they address my point. I never said anything about women using the gifts of the Spirit, or speaking in church. I believe that women in the church throughout history have made important contributions to the kingdom of God...and I believe they still do today. I also believe that God will use whom He wills.

My point was not to belittle the woman's role in the church. However...one would have to be blind to not see a cultural shift in the way the world has handled gender roles. I believe that cultural shift has found its way into the local church. God designed the man to be husband, father, provider, protector. He is to be head of the family and to lead the church family. God designed the woman to be wife, mother, nurturer. She is to actively help and submit to the man

[Openly Curious]

I find it somewhat interesting that we have 7 pages of discussion about "divorce" and no one has really addressed the OP's point about the church's responsibility in this discussion. The church and its leaders are culpable for the rise in the divorce rate amongst its membership. Church leadership has failed the family in a massive way and I think the OP made a valid point in that regard.

They may be partially responsible, but if people are going to get divorced, they are going to get divorced, there is really no way to stop them. And after all, it is the people that divorce that carry the responsibility for their actions.

Of course I agree that individuals are ultimately responsible for the decisions they make. However...I also think that the overall problem in the church of blurring the gender lines has greatly contributed to problems in the family unit.

I had read just the other day a piece where it said one in two marriages ends in divorce. That was actually staggering to even imagine that being true today.

You know I can expect that the unbelievers that are in the world still unregenerated are going to do their own wills when it comes to marriage and many of those will end in divorce. But when it comes to the church there should be hardly ever a case of divorce even heard of but that is not the case as we know today.

I wholeheartedly agree with you Axxman in the things you've addressed within this thread I have read. The church leaders are responsible for divorce in the church as they stopped taking a stand and preaching the truths surrounding marriage and the beauty of it. They've left the believers to themselves and not taught that there is more grace for your marriage if you need it. Individuals are responsible for their decisions to go astray or not. But it is no doubt that the gender lines that are not being clearly defined as the word has said has indeed as you say clouded and blurred the churches sight to where they can't tell wrong from the right these days.

OC

[Guest Greg Davies]

However...one would have to be blind to not see a cultural shift in the way the world has handled gender roles. I believe that cultural shift has found its way into the local church. God designed the man to be husband, father, provider, protector. He is to be head of the family and to lead the church family. God designed the woman to be wife, mother, nurturer. She is to actively help and submit to the man