I am emotionally drained.

[Ericka]

My parents and I got into an argument yesterday. Nothing new, we always argue. But this time my mother did something, just to hit me exactly where it hurts. And I hate it, thats always her goal. And its usually her achievement. I am so sick of it. This isn't the first time they did this specific thing to hurt me, they did it again. A second time. And it hurts more now.

I want to hate her, but I can't. I want to scream, and cry, but i can't, nothing is coming out. I punched my punching bag till my knuckles were bleeding, and I walked until my legs and feet were numb from the cold and from walking for hours.

I cried until I literally couldn't cry anymore. And now I am emotionally drained. I feel like i can't do anything, because the one thing I could do when I am hurting, I can't do.

I talked to my mother, yet nothing works. I feel like shes cold hearted and I am so distant from her. She hurts me so much, and I feel like its because she just doesn't care for my feelings. I don't know what to do, what to say.

I prayed so much yesterday. Then when I stopped, I felt nothing. I felt like nothing. I haven't prayed all day, and thats unusual for me, I just cannot pray. I tried to write it. and i couldn't. I just can't bring myself to do it. I am trying to let a little go, but its not going. Nothing is letting me be. I just hate it right now.

I don't know how to feel, what to think, where to go, OR who to talk to. I'm hurt.

[yukon]

Ericka, Sorry you feel this way. I will keep you in prayer.

I usually go to the woods when people hurt me and just sit there until Jesus is finished with me. If I have to sit there all day, I will.

Jesus is the only one these days that can wipe my tears away.

He is the only one I trust, because He first loved me before anyone else did.

Yukon :hug:

[papasangel]

Ericka

Is there someone you can talk to in church? Or maybe a counselor? A friend who lives close and can talk face to face? You need someone to talk to Ericka. If I lived closer I could be your sounding board. Before this destroys you find someone who you can trust and talk to them. I can tell you from experiance all you will get from bottling it in is frustration, anger, ill health and quite possible lose your self respect. You are special talk to someone please soon.

[Ericka]

The person I talk to. Is the person I can't talk to. Thats what makes it hurt sooo much more. That is what my mother made it, I can't talk to the only person I trust enough to talk to.

[nebula]

Hey, Ericka!

This picture is for you: Click here

I don't know what kind of pain your mother is holding onto that would cause her to need to feel better by hurting her own daughter this way. But I do know it is lousy and rotten. If I knew a way to get you out of there, I would.

Ericka - you are beautiful to Jesus! Don't let anyone take that away from you. And don't be afraid of your feelings going numb - our souls can have shock reactions just as much as our bodies can under severe stress and pain. Psalm 88 is the cry of someone who feels very lost and alone - just like you do right now.

But I just want you to know, Ericka, that you are loved. "Though my father and my mother forsake me, I know that the Lord will receive me." The Lord is the father to the fatherless.

Can't pray? That's OK. We can yack our yaws too much sometimes. I've had many a times where I just threw myself on the Lord and said nothing but tears.

Lord Jesus, I ask for Ericka, that she would feel Your nearness in a new way, that you would pour on a new love over her, that a blessing would be given to her even this and the next day. I ask that You would strengthen and uphold her and keep her safe. May she also be given a new love for her parents that would help her to overcome the temptation to anger and despair and hatred and depression that seeks to devour her. May Your balm of Gilead pour over her, that her spirit of heaviness would be replaced with a garmet of praise, that these ashes would be used as fertile ground for beauty to spring up in her life, and that her mourning would washed away with the oil of joy. I ask for the comforting presence of Your Holy Spirit to descend on her even this night. May she not be afraid, but learn to trust in You even more. What Satan meant for evil, may it be turned to good in her life. Let this hope encourage her heart. Grant her eyes to see the pillar of clud by day and fire by night that is leading and guiding her.

We loveYou, Jesus! You are our glory and the lifter of our heads!

Amen!

[Ericka]

Thanks Neb. If I knew a way to get out of here. I would. trust me. They won't even let me go for a walk right now. I need it. Please everyone. Pray.

[Guest LCPGUY]

Well Erica,

the Lady's have certainly replied to you in a loving and caring way, and for that I am glad.

However... I will offer a little less emotional male viewpoint.

It is not uncommon for people your age to at times think they hate their parents. You certainly come across as a mature and Godly young lady with a deep love for the Lord. He will honor that love of yours and He will keep you in His care. Do NOT stop praying, cling to God more than ever. He will get you through this.

That being said, it is very difficult to give advice when only one side of the situation has been heard. For all I know, you did something that kids do and it hurt your mother. Maybe her response to you wasn't as bad as you describe? As for me, I don't have enough facts to make a judgement call.

We'd be in a sorry state if our court system rendered decisions after hearing only the defense, or the prosecution.

Unless I missed something here, both sides were not presented. This is a lesson you need to learn at your tender age. As the man said: "Just the facts Mam!" Let's hear both sides of the story. You see, that way our prayer can be more focused and effective.

I pray the Lord will comfort you throughout your ordeal and will draw your family closer and closer together in a loving and caring relationship.

John

[Guest Bride of Christ]

:suspect:

Edited March 3, 2004 by Bride of Christ

[nebula]

However... I will offer a little less emotional male viewpoint.

In all fairness, I know you meant well.

There is stuff us girlfriends know about her situation, however, that weren't brought out here. Her words are as good as gold - her pain is as it is said. Some of us are all too familiar with parental verbal abuse to know that.

Now class, pay attention!

Yes, there will be a time for her to see her parents through Jesus' eyes. And yes, that will help in the healing process - eventually. But just as a physical wound needs it's stages to be healed, so do our soulical wounds. Now is the time for binding the wound, stopping the bleeding, letting her scream her pain, . . . .

We really do need to allow ourselves and others to go through the stages of mourning. Burying or supressing the hurt will only make things worse.

It's been said that women are like waves. Once the wave is formed, the best thing to do is just let it finish it's course and let it completely crash. Then we can give the pep talks and "unemotional logic reasonings" to the situation.

OK? Make sense? :il:

[Guest LCPGUY]

However... I will offer a little less emotional male viewpoint.

In all fairness, I know you meant well.

There is stuff us girlfriends know about her situation, however, that weren't brought out here. Her words are as good as gold - her pain is as it is said. Some of us are all too familiar with parental verbal abuse to know that.

Now class, pay attention!

Yes, there will be a time for her to see her parents through Jesus' eyes. And yes, that will help in the healing process - eventually. But just as a physical wound needs it's stages to be healed, so do our soulical wounds. Now is the time for binding the wound, stopping the bleeding, letting her scream her pain, . . . .

We really do need to allow ourselves and others to go through the stages of mourning. Burying or supressing the hurt will only make things worse.

It's been said that women are like waves. Once the wave is formed, the best thing to do is just let it finish it's course and let it completely crash. Then we can give the pep talks and "unemotional logic reasonings" to the situation.

OK? Make sense? :il:

Hey Neb - THANX! Yup! It makes sense

That's the first pie I ever got a pie and I'm sure glad it came from you. :il:

You're my heroette!!!

You girls are sure something sometimes. But I really do love yuh all Even though y'all ARE little bundles of emotion. Wouldn't want it any other way

Hey Neb... :hug:

Love,

John