Who are you ok with spanking your children?

[Guest LadyC]

there's nothing to get, emily.... clearly the context can not be "applaud".

[Emily~Anne]

Ok, well then I this also cetainly clarifies the context rod is being used in both that verse and in the other verses Axxman posted.

Since some people have taken to using the scriptures to justify hitting their kids as a form of punishment, it is only reasonable that I give an alternate (and more loving) view of these oft distorted scriptures.

Proverbs 13:24

He who spares his rod hates his son,

But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

Ah--- the infamous "rod." As most of you know, the 'rod" was a sheperds rod. A good sheperd uses the rod to guide his sheep...not hitting the sheep. You will find ZERO biblical evidence that the 'rod' is used to hit sheep. King David called the rod a "comfort and a shelter"...BUT the rod was to be used to drive away predators. It was intended for guidance and protection...not hitting the sheep.

Proverbs 22:15

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.

Here we see that the 'rod' can and should be used for correction. Again, there is no indication here that the rod is used for beating sheep offenders. The rod simply corrects the path.

Proverbs 23:13

Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.

People who hit their kids get all excited about this verse because it says you can "beat" your kids...and they won't die! Woo Hoo! Well, either the bible is a liar, or most of you misread this verse, because I can tell you without any hesitation that if you "beat" your child (as the verse allegedly says) they can, and sometimes do, surely die. The Hebrew word "nakah" is horribly misrepresented in this passage. While the word can, and often does, mean to strike, kill, smite, beat...it can also mean to clap, applaud, thrust, guide, push! I realize that it goes totally against the christian mindset to actually consider the idea that applauding your children can have postive benefits (and it won't kill 'em to get praise either)...I think it is not beyond a stretch of the imagination to suggest (based on what we know of a sheperd's rod) that this verse could just as easily support the notion that we guide, or push, our children along as a sheperd would with his rod...AGAIN...without beating the sheep!

Proverbs 23:14

You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell.

We've already covered the FACT that "beating" or "nakah" doesn't have to mean physically strike in regards to its context with a shepherd's rod.

Lastly...most of what you guys talk about in regards to spanking is completely made up. There is NO scriptural reference that tells us what beating/spanking with the rod might be. It doesn't tell us where to hit, how many times to hit, how to lovingly hit, when its appropriate to hit, how much it should hurt, what ages are appropriate...nothing. Even the BIG RULE amongst spankers that you "should never spank in anger" is a made up rule! Its a good rule, but it is flatly extra-biblical. The mere fact that you must add human and extra-biblical conditions to the act of spanking your children points to the logical conclusion that the bible doesn't tell us to hit our children.

Most Christian advocates of spanking have a ritual and protocol they believe to

[rtwo]

Spanking has been BANNED in the United States and you can be arrested for doing it.

It has not... and I'll deal with my own children how I see fit. The government doesn't run my house; I do. Spanking doesn't teach children that it's okay to be violent, nor is it violence. It is reinforcement. And, since you brought it up, yeah... it is discussed in scripture. So, is God wrong on this one? Perhaps He needs "Parenting lessons"?

[forrestkc]

Spanking has been BANNED in the United States and you can be arrested for doing it.

It has not... and I'll deal with my own children how I see fit. The government doesn't run my house; I do. Spanking doesn't teach children that it's okay to be violent, nor is it violence. It is reinforcement. And, since you brought it up, yeah... it is discussed in scripture. So, is God wrong on this one? Perhaps He needs "Parenting lessons"?

I agree, spanking is not banned. In fact, if you are adopting and tell the social worker thats doing the home study that you spank, its not going to preclude you from adopting or anything. So even Social Workers don't fully disapprove of it. Arkansas, where I am from originally, still paddles in school.

[rtwo]

Spanking has been BANNED in the United States and you can be arrested for doing it.

It has not... and I'll deal with my own children how I see fit. The government doesn't run my house; I do. Spanking doesn't teach children that it's okay to be violent, nor is it violence. It is reinforcement. And, since you brought it up, yeah... it is discussed in scripture. So, is God wrong on this one? Perhaps He needs "Parenting lessons"?

I agree, spanking is not banned. In fact, if you are adopting and tell the social worker thats doing the home study that you spank, its not going to preclude you from adopting or anything. So even Social Workers don't fully disapprove of it. Arkansas, where I am from originally, still paddles in school.

Now that's interesting. I didn't know there were any State social workers that approved (or at least, didn't wholly disapprove) of spanking. I certainly didn't know there were still schools that did it. Do you know whether they're at least required to contact the parents?

I think in many cases, even if spanking is looked down on, agencies look for physical signs of harm (bruising, etc) before meting out punishment.

[Iryssa]

If spanking is done RIGHT, I think it is very beneficial....if done wrong (which it is far too often) it can be damaging. My parents did it right, as far as I'm concerned. It was saved for only the worst offences--hitting my brother or talking nasty to my mom, both of which only happened once--and it was done to correct me, not out of frustration. I think it's a bad idea to go to either extreme, thinking either "spanking is the worst thing someone can do" or "spanking is the answer to everything." It should be used sparingly. I grew up to be a law-abiding citizen who respects her parents and other elders, and who is definitely not emotionally scarred in any way by the experience.

[Emily~Anne]

Oh boy, 4 people all posting at once!

[artsylady]

'If thou 'applaud' him with the rod, he shall not die.'

But one could kill a child through beating.

[Vickilynn]

Shalom,

How did this go from a poll on WHO could spank your children to a debate on whether children SHOULD be spanked or not?

Those without children should really wait to comment until they have children, because BEFORE I had children, I didn't know what it was like or the best way to handle things as a parent. After we had 1, we sure knew that spanking was a necessary and beneficial form of training. By the way, we have 5 children.

It's like planning your labor and delivery the first time. You think you know what you're going to do, how you're going to react and you make a plan, but when it really happens, you may react differently that you first thought. So, this is the way with child-raising. Wait until you have a child old enough to train and THEN see if G-d leads you to spank.

I know for us, we believe the Bible plainly states this is an acceptable form of training our children and is our responsibility.

[Emily~Anne]

'If thou 'applaud' him with the rod, he shall not die.'

But one could kill a child through beating.

I dont even know where to begin on this. See, the whole concept is to train them up in the way they should go, not to kill them. I really do not get what you are saying here? Our children come no where at all near death when we spank.