Sexual Addiction

[JesusFreak1john17]

This is something I have dealt with for a while now. Probably for over a year or two. (Keep in mind I'm 14.)

Ever since about the 6th grade, I have had a hard time thinking of girls respectfully and would look at dirty magazines, etc. It's been a struggle for a while but it's something I have really improved on as my journey with Christ continues. But I still have a problem with it. It's not porn..never really was. More just the little sports illustrated stuff. I've looked at porn once or twice though. But it's more of a thing like, I'll see a girl at the mall it's really hard not to think of her in a bad way or be like, woah, SHES HOT! I always have to look away or get my mind on something different. It's something that still bugs me today and I'm tired of it affecting my life. I would like to be able to see a somewhat attractive girl at the mall and not think a thing of her but that's still hard for me.

Do you guys have any ideas or ways I can fix this problem..I pray about it a lot but I want ideas on something I can do.

Thank you and God Bless,

Kris

[Guest LadyC]

take every thought captive to Christ... take every thought captive to Christ... take every thought captive to Christ....

make it your mantra. i'm dead serious. the minute a lustful thought pops into your mind SAY it... "take every thought captive to Christ". that's the best advice i can give you, as one (43 year old RECOVERED) sex addict to another (14 year old struggling) sex addict.

[Guest neugierig]

Kris,

Welcome to that stage of life that is flooded with hormones. Listen, it's natural to find women attractive, I'm sure you know that. But, you're also mature enough to know that thinking of them in an inappropriate way isn't God's intention. I'm 22 myself and I'll tell you this - women will always be attractive, and I have a girlfriend. ( At least those with self respect. )

Instead of trying not to think of someone, try thinking of the people you see just as attractive. When an attractive women walks by, sometimes my girlfriend notices before me, and she'll comment that the women is pretty, or beautiful. She thinks Angelina Jolie is the most attractive woman on the planet. I'll definitely agree that she's a very beautiful woman.

The thing to realize is that God designed everyone. And some are more physically attractive than others, just as some people are nicer, more considerate, etc. than others. Look at Romans 12:1-2 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+12:1-2)

1Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

What I'm trying to say is that when it comes to finding someone attractive, it's a matter of how you view them that really counts. If you begin to think further thoughts, start undressing them, or thinking about sex with these people you've never met, then it becomes a sin. To find someone attractive isn't a sin, though. In fact, the word beauty is used to describe women in the bible, as well as even being to describe God. (Although, I don't know of anyone who finds God "hot".)

So, try practicing this. If you do see someone you find attractive, just nod to yourself, allow yourself to find her attractive, then move on. Cut out porn or other sources, such as your thoughts, that degrade women. Try only to think of them as beautiful, or gorgeous. There's nothing wrong with noticing. However, if you go further, then you reach a few problems.

I hope that helps.

- Shane

This is something I have dealt with for a while now. Probably for over a year or two. (Keep in mind I'm 14.)

Ever since about the 6th grade, I have had a hard time thinking of girls respectfully and would look at dirty magazines, etc. It's been a struggle for a while but it's something I have really improved on as my journey with Christ continues. But I still have a problem with it. It's not porn..never really was. More just the little sports illustrated stuff. I've looked at porn once or twice though. But it's more of a thing like, I'll see a girl at the mall it's really hard not to think of her in a bad way or be like, woah, SHES HOT! I always have to look away or get my mind on something different. It's something that still bugs me today and I'm tired of it affecting my life. I would like to be able to see a somewhat attractive girl at the mall and not think a thing of her but that's still hard for me.

Do you guys have any ideas or ways I can fix this problem..I pray about it a lot but I want ideas on something I can do.

Thank you and God Bless,

Kris

[Trusting Jesus]

My first thought was exactly what LacyC said. God made it so men would be attracted to women, and visa versa. But it is what we do with that attraction that matters. Take every thought captive. You know the old saying "Garbage in, garbage out". Put thoughts in your mind that are godly.....be careful what movies you watch, what magazines you read, what conversations you have with your buddies.

<>< ><>

Nathele

[patricia1]

aww.. Lady c..

Why not tell him this is normal for his age..it can become a problem but Jesus made our sex organs and has given us desires...Just at 14 and a male... oh my.. It is called lust of the eyes my dear. I have the same problem with fancy nightgown wear. But look up life and the fourteen year old...Go talk with your pastor and believing He is a male, he will explain things to you and pray with you in a way you can understand and remmeber your pastor was once fourteen as well I believe you are healthy...But Porn is a no no!!! It can open you to perversions that many years later grown men and woman still have difficulty with ....it becomes a appetite that somehow is not ever satisfied. You'll be okay.. Just go to see your pastor.patricia1

[Guest LadyC]

patricia, of course it's normal at his age... lust is a natural, carnal reaction! that doesn't make it an appropriate reaction. he didn't ask for people to tell him "it's ok, it's normal"... he asked how to get control of his inappropriate thoughts. and the advice i gave him was straight from the Bible. easier said than done, though. but it's important for him to start putting it into practice NOW, at the tender age of 14, so that three years from now he doesn't have a dozen notches on his belt and a full blown addiction to hard core porn. a man is never too young to start doing things God's way.

and i should add this... JesusFreak, at the age of 14, you've just shown us what a wonderful young man you are, recognizing that you struggle with what many people would never think of as a problem, because it's in its earliest stages. it takes a person of strong character to recognize it and ask for help to nip it in the bud before it gets out of control. you deserve a pat on the back

[dgolvach]

This is something I have dealt with for a while now. Probably for over a year or two. (Keep in mind I'm 14.)

Ever since about the 6th grade, I have had a hard time thinking of girls respectfully and would look at dirty magazines, etc. It's been a struggle for a while but it's something I have really improved on as my journey with Christ continues. But I still have a problem with it. It's not porn..never really was. More just the little sports illustrated stuff. I've looked at porn once or twice though. But it's more of a thing like, I'll see a girl at the mall it's really hard not to think of her in a bad way or be like, woah, SHES HOT! I always have to look away or get my mind on something different. It's something that still bugs me today and I'm tired of it affecting my life. I would like to be able to see a somewhat attractive girl at the mall and not think a thing of her but that's still hard for me.

Do you guys have any ideas or ways I can fix this problem..I pray about it a lot but I want ideas on something I can do.

Thank you and God Bless,

Kris

Kris, I am almost 45 and have only recently been able to deal with this problem. I would suggest to you that you MAKE time to spend alone with God everyday. Everything and everyone else gets the back seat. I now know that my lust problem wasn't merely sexual, it was spiritual. Like many other addictions, lust can become a way of trying to fill your soul. Its actually an evidence that you need and intimate relationship with God. God created you with this need with the hope that you would seek him. Tell him everything when you are alone with him. Let him know all of your secrets. Don't hide because he knows it all anyway. Habitual sin will cause you to hide from him and rob you of the joy of your salvation. Don't self condemn. Nowhere in the Bible does it say to condemn yourself or put toxic guilt on yourself. The Holy Spirit will convict you but not condemn you. This is where I got it wrong for all of these years. I thought I had to somehow overcome this problem on my own before I could have a relationship with God. WRONG! Repent means to turn from sin TO God. Not just turn from sin. If you have accepted Christ, you are now spotless as if you have never sinned. Satan will do his level best to con you into thinking otherwise. All he can do is lie to you and tell you that you are not clean enough to have an intimate relationship with God. WRONG? Start today. Quit condemning yourself and don't listen to the lying punk Satan anymore. I didn't overcome my lust problem by being strong enough. I overcame it by finally realizing that I could drink from God's well everyday. He fills my thirsty soul so I have no need to try to feed it with lust.. This is the only way to overcome this. You can't do it alone. God put these desires in you and he intends to satrisfy these desires his way. Give him your sexuality and trust him with it. He will bring someone into your life that he knows will not be a heartbreaker for you and you will have a beautiful intimate sexlife with your WIFE and it will honor and bring you closer to God. TRUST ME!!!! TRUST HIM and you will get the grand prize. Love without shame. Get in touch with how much God loves you and let him fill you up everyday with his love. You will find it much easier to overcome this common problem that guys especially your age struggle with. Don't be decieved by the punk Satan. He actually wants to ruin your sex life by cheapening it into a mere carnal act designed just to feed your flesh.

Tell God everything.

Spend time with the Bible.

Spend time with him.

Let him love you and love him back.

You will overcome this by staying under his wings.

God Bless

Dan

[patricia1]

LADY C..I was humoring you. Then advising him..if you read the end of my post I thought i had added good advice on top of yours. I just do not want him to be obsessive and feeling condemned but know He can have victory but I believe someone closer to him like his pastor and praying together will help. We do not know if its a real addiction yet and get him to someone in Authority. If it is coming from a spirit around him as well as the normal 14 yr old raging hormone stuff..his pastor can discern. Good Lord girl...!

[Guest LadyC]

LADY C..I was humoring you. Then advising him..if you read the end of my post I thought i had added good advice on top of yours. I just do not want him to be obsessive and feeling condemned but know He can have victory but I believe someone closer to him like his pastor and praying together will help. We do not know if its a real addiction yet and get him to someone in Authority. If it is coming from a spirit around him as well as the normal 14 yr old raging hormone stuff..his pastor can discern. Good Lord girl...!

you did give him good advice, but i wasn't sure if you were humouring me or criticizing! thanks for clearing that up! by the way, did you see the link i posted in the ladies lounge? the one called 'for those who haven't seen'?

[JesusFreak1john17]

Hey, I just want to say, I love the ideas and encouragement you have all given me and it will indeed help me in this situation.

Thank you for your carind and loving support,

Kris