Does God decide who you should marry?

[Nicks Girl]

Your case, isn't the only one. ALOT of places now, require college degrees, or some sort of college education before hiring people, especially younger people. They may not with people that have worked with them for many years.

regarding the government being responsible for a lack of good paying jobs, i have to strongly disagree with you on this one. i know many individuals who never went to college who earn incomes starting at about 70K right out of high school, and upwards of 120K or more over time, in blue collar industries, largely thanks to unions. my husband works in such an industry. he is not a union member at this time, and makes only about 50K per year (despite being in the industry for almost two decades), but his income alone has been enough to comfortably support a family of four since we married.

I'd LOVE to know what kinds of jobs make THAT kind of money right out of high school with no college. lol.

You may know people who are in cases like that, but that is not the case with most. I know people too who have made it, without college, but I know alot more who have no college and have not been able to get anywhere because of it. I know alot of families who are struggling, because they are trying to make ends meet, because they aren't making very much.

I personally don't think your college education, even high school education determines how smart you are. Most people can learn a job, shortly after some training, without college. I think as long as you know the basic reading, writing, and arithmetic, you should be all set, for most jobs. Obviously if you are going to be a doctor, or a scientist you need more schooling than most, lol. But in general, most jobs can be learned pretty easily, or with some sort of training, but I don't think it takes 12 years of high school, plus another 2 or 4 of college.

Someone else mentioned how in history people were aprenticed or taught a trade at a young age, so that when they were in their middle to late teens, alot of guys were considered men, and had a trade. Also, girls were taught things about how to care for their home, and their families, and their maturity levels were obviously much higher. This made it easier for couples to marry at younger ages.

I don't think a 12 year old should be married, because you're on the verge of puberty, growing up, and still maturing. But around 16,17,18 people SHOULD be old enough, and mature enough to handle some kind of responsibility, etc. Unfortunately, people, such as myself who are in committed relationships at young ages are often looked down upon. I've had countless people tell me I'm too young to be in a serious relationship, we'll change our minds, we'll grow apart, It can't be God's will for our lives, What if someone better comes along. Or my favorite. "When I was your age, I thought I was in love, and was going to be with that person for the rest of my life..." etc etc etc. People think young couples can't make it, I've been told that before. It's sad, because it's sooo not true.

I don't think ANYONE, regardless if they are teens or not, should be getting married, when they have no way to support themselves. But the fact is, our society DOES make it hard for teens who are mature and ready to be married to actually be able to support a family, and be married.

Obviously, as LadyC stated, a married couple shouldn't be living with their mom and dad. They are to leave their parents, and start a family of their own, and take care of themselves. I believe it should be that way, at a young age. I believe that God can, and DOES bring people into our lives at a young age. I met my FH when we were 15, people think it's nuts, I know, but hey, I know when God is telling me something. Obviously as Christians, our focus needs to be on God, regardless of our age, if we are teens or older adults. Being a teenager is no excuse for immaturity.

I agree with Charlie when he said that we need to seek God on everything, regardless of what our culture or the world thinks is popular. It's not looked at as wonderful for couples who marry young. It is more socially acceptable to marry in your late 20's .(Can't recall the amount of times I've heard that! ) lol, but I don't really care what the world, or culture says is acceptable. What matters is what Christ is calling us to, what is God telling each individual. I believe that some people can wait until later in life to get married, and that's great for them, but there are also people who need that...companionship at a young age, and

Paul states in 1 Corinthians 7:9 that it is better for a person to be married than to burn.

My parents have accepted that I'm going to get married young, and that it is the right thing for us to do. I'm certainly not saying it's right for everyone.

God bless.

[Guest LadyC]

I'd LOVE to know what kinds of jobs make THAT kind of money right out of high school with no college. lol.

You may know people who are in cases like that, but that is not the case with most. I know people too who have made it, without college, but I know alot more who have no college and have not been able to get anywhere because of it. I know alot of families who are struggling, because they are trying to make ends meet, because they aren't making very much.

well it darn sure ain't burger king and no, you won't make that kind of money starting out in a corporate environment either. but if you're a driver, or a forklift operator, or in the construction industry, or most "general labor" type jobs, and hold a union card, you start out making over 22.00 per hour. i don't know anyone in the union who doesn't get overtime, and plenty of it. within the union, anything over 8 hours in one day pays time and a half... saturdays are automatic time and a half, sundays and holidays are double time. that racks up to some mighty large salaries starting out!

add to that the fact that, within the union, health insurance benefits are phenomenol. depending on what your union has negotiated, IF you pay anything at all, it's likely no more than about $40 a week, to cover the worker and all his dependants... spouse and children. co-pays and rx charges average about $5 each.

like i said, my husband is not currently union, because the company he works for is too small yet to afford it. i keep hoping one of these days.... mark does have 17 years invested in the union already. if he could add 13 years to it to make 30 before he retires, he'd be able to draw a good enough pension plan to let us retire quite comfortably.

[Guest charlie]

I'm not gonna give you my exact age LadyC but I am definitely past 40 and I feel much older.. I've paid a lot of union dues in my life and it was money well spent....but those salad bowl days are long over as far as I can tell. Those jobs just are not available to the vast majority of high-school graduates now-a-days and they're dwindling for those workers who are fortunate enough to still have one...and that's a fact.

I personally don't think your college education, even high school education determines how smart you are. Most people can learn a job, shortly after some training, without college. I think as long as you know the basic reading, writing, and arithmetic, you should be all set, for most jobs. Obviously if you are going to be a doctor, or a scientist you need more schooling than most, lol. But in general, most jobs can be learned pretty easily, or with some sort of training, but I don't think it takes 12 years of high school, plus another 2 or 4 of college.

I totally agree and I've got a bachelors degree. I worked my way thru college while working and didn't graduate until I was 30. My parents were too cheap to pay for it so I had to do it the hard way. There are some really stupid people with college degrees (okay I know I'm leaving myself wide open there haha!) and there are some brilliant people that didn't get the opportunity to go to college (in my generation anyway). Unfortunately in our culture the stupid guy with the degree gets the job over the brilliant guy without one. Personally I think trade schools are way UNDERRATED.

I don't think a 12 year old should be married, because you're on the verge of puberty, growing up, and still maturing. But around 16,17,18 people SHOULD be old enough, and mature enough to handle some kind of responsibility, etc.

Again I agree with both statements. By age 15 I do believe girls should start thinking about married life and that parents should start contemplately and preparing their daughters for married life. I think 16, 17, and 18 yr olds should be allowed to marry and I don't see what would be so terrible if the parents continued to help out. Why withdraw the college fund if the kid marries? That just seems unfair and is a "threat" used by some parents to prevent marriages. I see no reason why the boy and girl can't be married, finish college, and take on part time jobs to live on. Parents bend over backward to send a single child to college to "party it up" why not extend that same helping hand to a married child who is trying to do the right thing.

It can't be God's will for our lives, What if someone better comes along. Or my favorite. "When I was your age, I thought I was in love, and was going to be with that person for the rest of my life..." etc etc etc. People think young couples can't make it, I've been told that before. It's sad, because it's sooo not true.

People don't know God's will, they know their will and what they think or want as humans. Some young marriages fail of course but just as many people who are older and date for years before marriage divorce. Sometimes I wonder if it's because the "right one" got away in their youth and they're always "grieving" for that person, so no-one else ever quite "measures up". People often just repeat what they hear without really thinking about what they're saying and some of those things are just "what everyone says these days".

Obviously, as LadyC stated, a married couple shouldn't be living with their mom and dad. They are to leave their parents, and start a family of their own, and take care of themselves. I believe it should be that way, at a young age. I believe that God can, and DOES bring people into our lives at a young age.

Well, once again I think parents should lend a helping hand and be happy to do so. I don't think living side by side with mom and dad is a great idea BUT there's no reason the couple couldn't live in mom and dad's basement or for not too much money both moms and dads could buy the couple a single wide trailer to put "out back" of one of their houses for the couple to live in.

I met my FH when we were 15, people think it's nuts, I know, but hey, I know when God is telling me something.

I don't think you're nuts. You hang in there and don't let other people drive you apart. Have your parents or his parents offered to help you two out?

Lots of my classmates got married when I was in high-school way back in the 70s. It was common. Better to marry than to burn as someone has said already. We even had one couple where the man and women got married in the summer between junior and senior year. They lived with his parents and were at school everyday. It was no big deal back then. I even remember one couple where the girl got pregnant on purpose so that they could get married... since the parents wouldn't let them. After she got pregnant she went with a few friends, who were not pregnant but wanted to get married and substituted her urine specimen for theirs...so that they could get married. I don't know how the law is now but back then in the state of Tenn. if a girl got pregnant (under the age of 18) she could take the positive pregnancy test to a judge and be married without parental consent. So a lot of times one pregnant girl's urine was used "several" times. Where there's a will there's a way.

Sorry to run so long but I do believe teenagers are "babied" way too long. That's why you have 19 yr olds running wild and acting like fools on spring break instead of the responsible adults they should be at that age (19, 20). It amazes me how much young people have changed overall in the past 20 years. It's like they have a lot of knowledge but they act like 10 yr olds, all that babying I guess. Sorry to offend but teenage boys 17, 18, and 19 are at their sexual peak, imo they should have a wife. Read "Song of Solomon" the love book. That pretty much describes young sexual love as God meant it to be.

Anyway, yes I do believe God "steers" the right people together. I think he does this for both the Christian and the non-Christian alike because He loves everyone. But...no-one listens to God when He tells them something they don't want to hear...really.

[irishcowboy]

well it darn sure ain't burger king and no, you won't make that kind of money starting out in a corporate environment either. but if you're a driver, or a forklift operator, or in the construction industry, or most "general labor" type jobs, and hold a union card, you start out making over 22.00 per hour. i don't know anyone in the union who doesn't get overtime, and plenty of it. within the union, anything over 8 hours in one day pays time and a half... saturdays are automatic time and a half, sundays and holidays are double time. that racks up to some mighty large salaries starting out!

sorry, too many states are becoming "right to work states" meaning the union is not as strong as it use to be...... this also means that you do not have to be a member of the union to work in these places.....

the best you will see around here for a forklift operator, with 15 years experience is about 15 an hour, unless he also has his/her CDL......... then if they do, they will more then likely be used for "occassional " driving ( hahahaha, right, and will spend more time on the road then in the ware house ).......

another thing about union work, most of it make the product more expensive, cause you ( the consumer ) has to pay for the extra that the union worker is getting...... a friend of mine, was working a union job, and he had a bit of slack time ( which was not unusual for his job ) so he was cleaning up his work area for the next task..... he almost got canned over it..... why???? cause that was some one elses job..... now, he is waiting for some one else to come clean up the mess, that he made doing his job, but can not do any more until the mess is cleaned up, and can not clean it up himself, and he is getting paid to stand there and do nothing until the mess is cleaned up, and then just watch the guy that is going to clean it up..... sheeesh sounds like a waste of good company money that we all have to ultimatly pay.....

if a young person gets a job at Mc D's, he may also have to get one at Booger queen and Hardleys too just to make ends meet.... just to be able to pay the rent and utilities..... and then the spouse may also have to work at these places in order for them to eat.....

go figure....

I do believe that God will provide the right person for each of us that is to get married, if only we believe Him and wait on Him... and do not try and jump the gun.....do not try to second guess God....

I do not care if it is at age 14 or 15 or as late as 30 or 35... God knows best....

the last I knew most women stop dropping eggs about age 40(ish) and start early teens.... the youngest recorded mother to have a surviving child is 7, ( in a third world country )..... that dont mean we should all be getting married at age 15... that just saying God made us a certain way for a certain reason.....

well, it is getting late,

and I need to get ready for church...

have a wonderful morning

mike

[Nicks Girl]

Charlie, yes, my parents have offered to help us out. They've been wonderful. My dad offered FH a job, if he ever needs one. He's going to be working for my dad this summer(those are the plans so far). Anyways, His parents are awesome too, they don't have alot of their own, but they are supportive(especially FH's mom), and I know they would do anything they could do to help. They know this is from God, and we are meant to be together.

If the parents aren't opposed to it, I'm not opposed to living with parents when you're young and starting out. I do think the married couple should at least have a part time job, though, and try to not be a burden on the family. That's my only...thing about living with your parents, lol. It's too easy to stay dependent on them.

My mom told me Fh and I could get married and live in the basement (that's where my room is anyways) lol.

[Guest charlie]

I'm happy that you both have supportive parents who accept God's will for your life. You two will do just fine. You sound like a responsible young lady. Best wishes for you and FH's happiness.

[Nicks Girl]

ty.

God Bless.

[RGR]

....he may also have to get one at Booger queen....

[mobile21]

Here is an interesting subject. I have heard many people say that they believe that God has one person picked out for you to marry. I guess they believe that after you are born God has got you pegged to marry someone in particular.

I do believe that there are certain people who intensely believe that God had picked their spouse for them even before they knew the other person. I have no reason for believing that they are wrong. They knew by the Holy Spirit leading BOTH of them, that they were meant to be together.

Others believe that they were allowed to pick their spouse. Although, they believe that there were many acceptable candiates for them, they found the one they thought was the best of all. They still feel that God guided them in their choice, but that He did not make the choice for them.

Any thoughts?

Because God gave mankind free will, you can marry whoever you want and God didn't decide that, you did.

To say anything against human free will is to talk against the truth of christianity.

[stevehut]

I believe that God has commanded that I should marry a woman who shared by religious beliefs and values. "Equally yoked", so they say. So this meant that I would date around within a certain limited pool of "candidates". And I allowed my Christian friends and ministers to counsel me on the matter.

But did God require that I marry a particular pre-chosen person? I think not.