Unusual issue I'm dealing with

[ladypeartree]

welcome to worthy

[Treasure]

Hello and welcome!

[tsth]

You need to be aware that you are dabbling in what would be termed as New Age teachings. It will draw you into being deceived into thinking that YOU are the one responsible for your life's course, rather than giving the glory to the Creator God and His Word! This is how the enemy works, he tricks you into thinking that because it is pleasing and beautiful in the way it appears, then surely God doesn't want you to be deprived of it, because it would be "good for you". Remember the conversation between satan and Eve. It was along the same line.

I hope you'll reconsider the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, and instead grasp the teachings of God thru His Word.

You might want to research Eckhart Tolle a little more, with regard to the deceptions of the "New Age" focus.

You can start here:

New Age and Eckhart Tolle

Col 2.

6 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, 7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. 8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. 9 For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, 10 and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority. 11 In him you were also circumcised, in the putting off of the sinful nature, not with a circumcision done by the hands of men but with the circumcision done by Christ, 12 having been buried with him in baptism and raised with him through your faith in the power of God, who raised him from the dead.

In His Love,

Suzanne

[Irenicus]

Hi and welcome! I can identify to a certain extent to your post, as I have been there. Although I have always been a Christian, I have often struggled with anger issues. Remember that you are still a very young man. The biggest changes in my life came between the ages of 18-21 I think. It is during this time that your attitude and perspective changes enormously as you struggle to adapt to the world of adults. Most people had anger problems as teenagers, as well as irrational insecurities. Don't be too impatient. You will change as you grow. Experience and maturity come with age (usually, though there are some exceptions ) Just be patient with God as He is patient with you. One of the problems I have had in my life is I always seem to expect God to answer my prayers instantly. He rarely does this. Just put your faith and trust in Him. He always has your best interests at heart.

[Richard_yaash]

First off if you answer please tell me your basic beliefs!!

Simply one of Yisrael, a simple follower of the Way. Anything beyond that is mere semantics.

IMO: Patricia's answer to you was well thought out and very well done.

... but I knew I had to get to where I deserved the sort of quality girl I wanted. So... I wanted to change...

The answer is simple: Be authentic. If we are indeed truly authentic, we have no need to measure or compare ourselves with others, thus the importance of authenticity. If we strive for authenticity within our lives, the changes you speak of will also occur.

In my case, it was to strive for authenticity within the Scriptures, belief and faith by which 'God' through our beloved Messiah ultimately wrought the change.

So... I determined to change... <snip> ... I'm still in the process right now, but I've already started changing a lot.

Forgive my boldness here: Read your words above. What are the reasons/motives for which you are desiring to change?

Is it possible, that due to the reasons/motives of your desire to change, that psychology has had the greater impact upon you?

I do not know you, nor your situation/position. So please forgive my assertions above, I am merely asking questions that perhaps you have not asked yourself.

Anyways, basically he makes the point that in many major religions telling people to "behave" in one way or another often doesn't work...

Of course it doesn't. However we do not need anyone to tell us that. No one can tell us how to behave, it would be like telling a wife "you must submit", as soon as someone tells us how to behave or act, we immediately go the opposite direction.

That being said, we must have a 'standard/measure' by which we hold/judge what behavior is appropriate, true and good. Then, we have to desire to behave/act in an appropriate manner according to this 'standard/measure'. There is no greater motivation that I have found in this life than 'love'. For myself, it was a 'love' born of unmerited favour/grace that was first extended to me and unto which I could not help but to return that 'love' and seek to (excuse the expression) 'become all I could be'. From and within that same 'love', being critical, pessimistic, etc., etc. the result was the death of these things within me.

My wife once gave me a small plaque, it reads: "What you are is God's gift to you. What you make of yourself is your gift to God." I can think of no better gift to 'God' than to become authentic. If we can truly do that, respect and integrity shall also be ours.

Tolle suggested being "unreactive" as a way to behave better.

Without further knowledge of Tolle's theory(s) here: Yes and no. To be "unreactive" as in to not give in to one's anger or other harmful/hurtful/negative 'emotions' is indeed beneficial which from your further post you are already seeing for yourself. However, to be "unreactive" with regard to that which is 'positive', is too miss out on the greatest of joy as well as so much of the depth and fullness of 'life/love'.

Tolle's principles could be summarized as such:

The tautology of which is quite plain and simple. However, IMO we are left with a paradox. The awareness behind our being is also tantamount with our thoughts. If we are nothing more than the awareness behind our thoughts, then we are left as being inauthentic. We are left fleeing ourselves, fleeing from our own thoughts/desires and left as merely hiding from ourselves and in effect still 'lost'.

Our 'authenticity' is not just the awareness behind our thoughts. In order to truly be authentic, our thoughts are directly 'related unto/tied/unseverable' from ourselves. We have to embrace them for they are a part of our most basic nature. It is our thoughts which reveal who we are. If we attempt to sever our thoughts as being a part of us, we become inauthentic, we are attempting to deny who we truly are.

If we are able to reach the point in which 'our being' and 'our thoughts' are that which we desire to be, we have achieved a state of wholeness/completeness. A hebrew term for this state is 'shalom'. Shalom is 'peace' in it's fullest sense. For that same state/sense of wholeness/completeness is the very state in which we may achieve true 'peace'. It is genuine thought, self awareness and much more that makes us each individuals.

This can and may be achieved through the Scriptures without 'psychology/philosophy'. It is something that if we allow it, 'God' may achieve within us.

Negative/painful thoughts, those which elicit a 'fear' response within us: Tolle is correct in that those are the result of 'living in the past' and not in the moment/present. However, there is more IMO. A 'fear' response also demonstrates that we have not yet been made perfect in 'love'. It indicates a certain 'clinging' to the past. Fear is the antithesis of life. For life lived in fear, is a life that misses the best that life has to offer. Fear should become and remain posterior unto love. It is in this way, that we may live in the 'now' and move into the 'future' without fear as a deterent or anchor holding us back from the fullness that life has to offer.

My point being: All of this can be found within the Scriptures and the precepts/concepts therein. The difference being from my POV, the motives/reasons which drive us in this.

Anyways I tried applying these ideas and started changing even faster. I now get in far less fights with my family (used to happen all the time) and women are incredibly responsive to me because instead of getting embroiled in some argument or "test" I simply lay back, take it easy and laugh it off. I hardly ever get seriously angry anymore at the petty things that used to bother me all the time. It's really amazing.

It is good that you get in fewer fights and do not get angry. However, are you "unreactive" to the point in which you will miss out upon the fullness and depth of life? Is this state of being "unreactive" something which 'is/has become' authentic within you?

Now my problem is this: a lot of the psychology stuff I've been reading comes back again and again to the idea of "self esteem" and "entitlement". A lot of it is about "drawing strength from within". Basically, people who feel like they are generally "worthy" of X -be it a good business, a nice car, an amazing girl- get it, simply because they're confident about it. They still might face hardships, but they don't focus on them because they know they'll reach their goal come hell or high water.

Again, if we truly strive to be 'authentic' in life, the rest follows IMO as a matter of natural course. If we strive 'to be authentic/for authenticity' within our faith, our belief(s), our knowledge of the Scriptures, will not 'God' bless us in an even greater manner? Further, and perhaps more importantly than this carnal/physical life of ours, will we not also store up 'treasures in heaven'?

No matter how successful we are in this life, it is as naught in the end if we have not laid aside 'treasure in heaven'. A treasure which shall never fade nor perish (cf Lk 12:33-34). As it has been written, where your treasure is, there your heart shall also be.

In your opinion, what is the greatest treasure you can imagine? Is it the nice car, amazing girl, good business?

I have had all those in life and more, and I can assure you (with the exception of my wife), they are as nothing in the end. They can be taken from you in the blink of an eye. Look to attain the goal of treasure in heaven "come hell or high water". For it can not be taken from you.

Also the idea of self-esteem seems counter to the idea of being humble...

Do not confuse regard for the dignity of your character with humility. Integrity is important. To know who you are and be able to maintain your integrity is not anterior to humility.

Any advice, comments greatly appreciated.

I do not know what calling 'God' may have in store for you. I do know, that He will use this for His own glory assuming you are willing. I did not read/study/know anything with regard to psychology/philosophy until later in life. The little which I have read has not had much impact upon my life in comparison with the Scriptures.

You may however find the philosophy of Martin Heidegger in "Sein und Zeit" (Being and Time) of interest in your search for 'aletheia'.

May wisdom draw close to you and depth of understanding even closer.

Richard

[Trusting Jesus]

Look to the Bible as your authority. It seems that you are looking into the lives of other people and thinking that they have it all wonderful because they have beautiful women and no problems. Well, just because a person is beautiful on the outside does not mean beauty on the inside. That's what you need to look for in others and develope in yourself. Christ in you is beautiful (or handsome as the case may be ). It does sound like New Age drivel that you are reading. Read the Bible and make it a part of you. This will help you to stop arguing with people so much and help you to see others as God sees them.

I was very shy as a girl and felt that God had overlooked me. Everyone else was having a great time and I was stuck being me. Well, I finally decided to take my life into my own hands and I made some really stupid mistakes. I began to mold myself to the world and not to God. Somehow God took my sin and made it all right, but I really had much to repent of. Keep God first in your life and don't look to other people as your guide.

<>< ><>

Nathele

[EricH]

Moved from Worthy Welcome to Looking for Advise