Florida Pastor Issues 30-Day Sex Challenge for Congregation

[Marnie]

lol Hey, I was expressing an opinion! But it did add another page to the discussion.

1 Corinthians 7 is pretty clear; without regard to the frequency, though, each partner is to be willing to meet that need, and the only reason Paul gives for not fulfilling that part of the marital contract is so each partner can pray, a decision mutually agreed upon and only for a period of time. Paul's point to the Corinthians was that because of the perversity of their society (which was far worse than ours) a healthy sex-life within the bounds of marriage is the best way to avoid that sin. He doesn't prescribe marriage as an antidote to sin, merely that in the case of the Corinthians, it's not a bad idea.

Given the stats for the frequency of intercourse within marriages in America, I'd say there is cause for concern. Americans may be obsessed with sex, unfortunately it's sex with a person outside of their marriage. This includes Christian marriages. Which is sad to me. Like the saying goes, if you are getting it at home, you won't look for it outside the home. I think that many couples have no idea that marital relations is an obligation each partner has toward the other one. In fact, Paul says that the wife's body belongs to the husband and vice versa, meaning each partner has an exclusive claim on the other one. And, when Paul says that the husband should "fulfill" his marital duty to his wife, he uses a Greek word with a financial meaning; that is, he is paying a debt owed to his wife. (1 Cor. 7:3)

This church is definitely provocative (almost humorous) in their approach, but I am sure there is more there than meets the eye.

[psalmone]

I think that pastor said what he said to stir up the issues involved. That can't be a bad thing it could lead to wholeness and fulfillment. May the Lord provide mature equipped people to minister to this, and may the holiness remain undisturbed.

[Guest LadyC]

lol Hey, I was expressing an opinion! But it did add another page to the discussion.

1 Corinthians 7 is pretty clear; without regard to the frequency, though, each partner is to be willing to meet that need, and the only reason Paul gives for not fulfilling that part of the marital contract is so each partner can pray, a decision mutually agreed upon and only for a period of time. Paul's point to the Corinthians was that because of the perversity of their society (which was far worse than ours) a healthy sex-life within the bounds of marriage is the best way to avoid that sin. He doesn't prescribe marriage as an antidote to sin, merely that in the case of the Corinthians, it's not a bad idea.

Given the stats for the frequency of intercourse within marriages in America, I'd say there is cause for concern. Americans may be obsessed with sex, unfortunately it's sex with a person outside of their marriage. This includes Christian marriages. Which is sad to me. Like the saying goes, if you are getting it at home, you won't look for it outside the home. I think that many couples have no idea that marital relations is an obligation each partner has toward the other one. In fact, Paul says that the wife's body belongs to the husband and vice versa, meaning each partner has an exclusive claim on the other one. And, when Paul says that the husband should "fulfill" his marital duty to his wife, he uses a Greek word with a financial meaning; that is, he is paying a debt owed to his wife. (1 Cor. 7:3)

This church is definitely provocative (almost humorous) in their approach, but I am sure there is more there than meets the eye.

a agree with you in regards to marital sex, marnie. but yep, it DID add another page to the discussion, didn't it? LOL. it's a shame that people don't treat intimacy with their spouse as something that is both a gift and a duty. scripture says that if we withhold sex from our husband/wife that we are defrauding them. we're stealing from them what is rightfully theirs. and that we will be held accountable too, should our mate fall into sexual sin because we were stingy with our body.

in general, the pastor's challenge to married couples is not a bad idea, although i think he could have required it to be at least 25 out of 30 days, to accommodate those couples who, for whatever reason, prefer to abstain during the menstrual cycle. there are many who feel that it is biblically prohibited, and i think such a challenge from their pastor could be a stumbling block to them. and then there are others who just think it's too messy.

i wonder how mark and i would rise to such a challenge? not very well THIS month, given that he's been working an average of 20-22 hours a day, and last week even put in a 45 hour shift. not that he hasn't wanted it a couple of times, but "sorry honey, that's a negative from me! if you only have two hours to catch a nap before pulling another ungodly shift, i'm not gonna get in the way of your sleeping no matter HOW much you want it!"

still though, where this pastor is in grave error is in what he teaches the single members of his church about sex... that the bible is pretty much mute on the subject but that there are some scriptures which "seem to imply" that Jesus might disapprove of premarital sex... he's "marketing" his church the same way vendors peddle everything from jeans to hamburgers... with sexual imagery that comes close to being soft-pornography and probably sets the wheels of the brain spinning with real porographic thoughts. that is unbiblical as well as irresponsible.

his intention seems to be less about glorifying God than achieving his own fame, and he's succeeding. our local newscast this morning even gave his challenge a spot.

he'll have much to answer for one day.

I think that pastor said what he said to stir up the issues involved. That can't be a bad thing it could lead to wholeness and fulfillment. May the Lord provide mature equipped people to minister to this, and may the holiness remain undisturbed.

oh yes, it was to stir up issues alright... it was to stir up controversy. it IS a bad thing considering that it is not being ministered by a man who is spiritually mature, or spiritually equiped, to deliver it.

[Marnie]

Yeah, I am familiar with that church and I agree with you. But you did write something I found interesting and think it deserves comment--

i wonder how mark and i would rise to such a challenge? not very well THIS month, given that he's been working an average of 20-22 hours a day, and last week even put in a 45 hour shift. not that he hasn't wanted it a couple of times, but "sorry honey, that's a negative from me! if you only have two hours to catch a nap before pulling another ungodly shift, i'm not gonna get in the way of your sleeping no matter HOW much you want it!"

First, let me say I love to work, and very often get lost in it. The Lord actually convicted me about this; I was shirking my duties as a wife because I was working way, way beyond what was healthy for our relationship. I realized that it's wrong to put my work, which I really love, above my husband, whom I really love. So I cut back to devote more time to the one relationship that means something as opposed to other relationships. Second, regarding voluntary abstinence, Paul says that's OK as long as both partners have agreed to it, and as long as it's for a purpose higher than that of physical enjoyment. He says prayer; who am I to argue with that? I do agree, however, there are other reasons that are reasonable to abstain, health being one of them. I don't know that overworking is a valid reason. Of course, situations may occasionally arise that can't be helped, we understand that. Perhaps the issue isn't just the act of sex, but rather the issue of intimacy, for one can be intimate with one's partner without engaging in any physical activity.

At any rate, I do think this church may be on to something, although they could be going about it the wrong way. I keep going back to Paul's theology of sex and marriage as he expounded it in 1 Corinthians 7. In one chapter he covered every conceivable situation that might arise. Maybe if more pastors took Paul's lead and taught their congregations the "birds and bees," there would be more healthy Christian marriages. Just a thought.

By the way...how's the weather in my former state, LadyC. It's snowing here today. Ugh. I am so depressed!

[Guest LadyC]

you hit on something too.... i mean on the one hand, i think a lack of sleep is a health issue, and a safety issue, because as a driver, he's putting his work above the safety of every life on the road around him, as well as his own. it finally sunk in this last week that his boss was not expecting him to work til 2 a.m., his boss was simply telling him to be in at 4:30 a.m. so mark's decision to work 22 hour shifts is solely on his own shoulders. when i confronted him about it and asked why, he said "i like the money". and then the next day he made an offhand comment that he does it to support my "habits". (my habits? ok, i suppose i have been running amuck the last few weeks, going out to lunch almost daily with one friend or other, and often paying for theirs as well as mine. nasty, nasty habit that is)

but what you said about working so much that you were neglecting your responsibility as a wife, that struck a chord. frankly, there IS no intimacy when the only time i see him is from 2 to 4 a.m., and the only conversations we have during the day are interrupted by comments or instructions going back and forth between him and a dock-worker, lumper, fork-lift driver, etc. i've actually thought about that several times this week... he has a duty to me as much as i have a duty to him. and he's neglecting that voluntarily because of a love of money, and because (IMO) a love of the accolades he gets from his boss for such dedication to the job.

somehow i just can't find any biblical principal which indicates that i'm neglecting him for refusing sex during his two hours at home if those two hours are so late at night that he has to rouse me out of a deep sleep for a quickie.

BUT... God sure is blessing him as a result of my "bible first" commitment... before getting on the computer in the mornings, my time is spent in prayer and study. and i think that my "reward" for that is that God has sustained mark and kept him off the drugs, despite the hours he's been working. i'm utterly amazed at that. (and yes, i'm absolutely sure he's clean!)

ok, now to answer the question you actually asked LOL. weather is beautiful! we actually had a snow flurry by mccarran last week, but it's warmed up now. it's a little overcast today, but it's in the upper 50's. tomorrow it will be in the mid 60's. and i'm so grateful, because since it's warm enough to go without my coat, because jordy (the cat) got mad at me for something the other day and peed on it! so now it's at the dry cleaner's.

i'm not telling mark what happened, or i may wake up one morning to find my cat missing!