Is it ever justifiable to break confidence?

[Ddavid from NC]

If you get involved in people's lives as a friend or counselor, you will occassionally face a moral dilema about keeping secrets. Is there any justifiable reason to break that confidence. Example: You are told of marriage infidelity and one of the person's involved is a spiritual leader, and you are watching someone becoming a victim before your very eyes. Of course there are cases of abuse, embezzlement, etc... Is there ever a reason to break confidence?

[Guest Vote for ted!]

If you get involved in people's lives as a friend or counselor, you will occassionally face a moral dilema about keeping secrets. Is there any justifiable reason to break that confidence. Example: You are told of marriage infidelity and one of the person's involved is a spiritual leader, and you are watching someone becoming a victim before your very eyes. Of course there are cases of abuse, embezzlement, etc... Is there ever a reason to break confidence?

Only if you are a woman at a beauty shop...Then it's OK.

[WillingToDie]

I always tell people off the bat that if what they are about to tell me is illegal, or will result in the harm of themselves or another, then I will have to breal confidence. I do give a little leeway in regards to illegality.

[Ddavid from NC]

I always tell people off the bat that if what they are about to tell me is illegal, or will result in the harm of themselves or another, then I will have to breal confidence. I do give a little leeway in regards to illegality.

You are a wise person to screen what secrets you will accept as binding you to secrecy

[Guest Vote for ted!]

I've never been in a counseling session where I was "expected" to keep a secret. But if I were, I'd tell them to either tell the person themselves, it should come from them, or I'd tell them...

[~~ angelique ~~]

If you get involved in people's lives as a friend or counselor, you will occassionally face a moral dilema about keeping secrets. Is there any justifiable reason to break that confidence. Example: You are told of marriage infidelity and one of the person's involved is a spiritual leader, and you are watching someone becoming a victim before your very eyes. Of course there are cases of abuse, embezzlement, etc... Is there ever a reason to break confidence?

Hmm.. I had a LONG conversation with my counselor about this before I began to counsel with her. She has a masters in counseling and does christian counseling... There are some things that you should do, even if you are christian, in order to cover yourself. I signed an agreement that she would only break confidence if one of these three things were told to her:

1. I am going to kill myself
   
2. I am going to hurt someone else
   
3. I tell her about a child that has been molested
   

However, you situation has made me curious so I looked up the statutes in North Carolina..

hthttp://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/clergymandated.cfm

http://www.psychlaws.org/LegalResources/St...linastatute.htm

After trying to look up the code, I would say that you seek legal counsel to find out what your state laws are in order to not invite legal issues by breaking confidences.

[Guest man]

If you get involved in people's lives as a friend or counselor, you will occassionally face a moral dilema about keeping secrets. Is there any justifiable reason to break that confidence. Example: You are told of marriage infidelity and one of the person's involved is a spiritual leader, and you are watching someone becoming a victim before your very eyes. Of course there are cases of abuse, embezzlement, etc... Is there ever a reason to break confidence?

It depends on the situation.

For example...if 2 consenting adults enter into an affair, it's their business...not yours. If 1 is an adult and the other is a minor...you go straight to the cops...and you better have proof. If 1 is married and the other is not...you can go to the single one and tell them that the person they're messing around with is married...if they don't have a problem with it, then I think you mind your own business.

Cases of abuse are hard to prove. Many times the victims have to be the ones to file the report. If the victim refuses, there's really nothing anyone can do.....except where minors are concerned.

In the case of illegal activities, if your friends are breaking the law....they will eventually get caught. Should you tell someone? That depends on the situation. I got a head full of secrets. Some of those secrets are sitting in jail...some are dead...some are dying. It's a path they chose. A person can only do so much. You can give them advice. They can listen or simply ignore you. It's their choice.

Is there ever a reason to break confidence?

It all depends on the situation.

[Guest shiloh357]

I always tell people off the bat that if what they are about to tell me is illegal, or will result in the harm of themselves or another, then I will have to breal confidence. I do give a little leeway in regards to illegality.

You are a wise person to screen what secrets you will accept as binding you to secrecy

I agree. That is a very wise policy.

[Joelle]

David your topic is a bit vague...maybe we could come up with some more distinct ideas if you had a couple more examples, you know, like specific situations we would actually encounter daily (although I doubt people would come and ask me to keep their secrets on a daily basis!)

I recall breaking confidence once, but I've always considered that one time as an exception. The burden was too heavy for me so I asked a reliable christian friend to share it through prayer. Usually I just shut my mouth whatever the situation, I guess I never had to face a real life-or-death kind of issue in the matter of keeping secrets.

[irishcowboy]

If you get involved in people's lives as a friend or counselor, you will occassionally face a moral dilema about keeping secrets. Is there any justifiable reason to break that confidence. Example: You are told of marriage infidelity and one of the person's involved is a spiritual leader, and you are watching someone becoming a victim before your very eyes. Of course there are cases of abuse, embezzlement, etc... Is there ever a reason to break confidence?

absolutely....

The Bible tells us exactly how to go about it also.

mike