Mental Illness

[DarkNebulaWelder]

Hello, everyone;

For the past few months, I have been experiencing what feels like severe bouts of depression.

Aboput 7 years ago, I was institutionalized, placed on lithium, and diagnosed as manic depressive. A few months thereafter, I was taken off of the meds, being told by the doctor that I was not bipolar, but merely severely depressed (due to my circumstances).

Well, for the past few months, I have been experiencing what feels like TERRIBLE mood swings and torturous depression. My most recent episode lasted 2 weeks, and that was about a week ago...but today, I am depressed again...feeling much the same way I did before.

The last time it happened, it was triggered by an evangelism meeting that happened in my church. As I was driving home, I began feeling this horrible sense of depression...as though something hated me. I began questioning my salvation, feeling as though my life was pointless, confusion, worthlessness, and as though God didn't really love me. This isn't the first time I've felt this way.

I feel emotionally exhausted from trying to defend my salvation to myself all the time, and I am wondering if it is the enemy putting these thoughts in my head, or if I am experiencing a resurgence of the mood swings that put me away severeal years ago.

My spiritual state is a continual whirlwind of feeling a beautiful intimacy with God, as though His love is completely embracing me...to a sense that He is completely distant from me, and I have no assurance of salvation, which breaks my heart, because at this time in my life, I am very emotionally attached to Him, and can't imagine life, or an eternity, without Him.

I am wondering if I am being oppressed, or if I am simply regressing into mental illness, and need to seek out meds again. When the depression is particularly bad, I feel as though I'm going to lose my mind at any moment...the depression gets so bad that I feel that I will just snap and lose it, but whenever the depression comes on, it's as though I feel completely separated from God.

I am questioning the validity of God's promises to me, and whether or not I am a child of God, and it is getting COMPLETELY exhausting, although I continually pray and beg God for His strength, it hurts to even THINK that He is rejecting me.

I'm about at my wits end. I don't know if I should keep praying, seeking God, and trusting Him for this, or if I should seek psychiatric help. I also don't understand why it always happens after some event of spiritual significance, like church or ministry events.

This is extrememly confusing, painful, and scary. What if God has completely turned His back on me? What if He really doesn't want me? I stumbled in something earlier today, and now I feel that there is no hope for me. I've asked the Lord's forgiveness, but I feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into this depression.

What should I do?!!!!

[Guest man]

That happened to me today too. The last couple of weeks actually. It comes and goes. Such an overwhelming feeling of dread. It sucks the life right out of you.

And I know what you mean about the God thing. Don't let it get to you. I do believe it is the devil coming against you. That's what he does.

All I can really tell you is to pray. You might want to see a doctor. I'm thinking about it.

I was on meds for about a year. It helped.

Pray the Lords prayer and sit there and meditate on the Lord. Just clear your mind of all outside influences and focus on God. Open your heart to Him and let the Spirit flow through you.

I know it's hard when you have all those other thoughts and feelings running through your head. But give it a try.

I don't say this too often, but tonight I will pray for. Perhaps the two of us with the help of the Holy Spirit can ease your troubled mind.

You take it easy...everything is going to be ok.

And just remember...God will not turn His back on you.

Peace.

[nebula]

I have depression struggles, too.

Several things can trigger this. It could be a habit - a tendency to look on the down side of things, for instance. It could be physical - for instance I am hypoglycemic, and by blood sugar level starting to get low can put me in a down mood. But it could also be spiritual.

This sends a red flag to me, though:

I also don't understand why it always happens after some event of spiritual significance, like church or ministry events.

That sounds demonic.

Now I am not saying you are "demon-possessed," but it does sound like some demon has its claws stuck in your brain lying to you and making you feel icky.

Remember your spiritual armor? What protects your head is the helmet of salvation. Needless to say, this is where you are being attacked - the assurity of your salvation and all that this means.

You need to verbally renounce Satan and his lies and verbally confess your salvation in Christ. Read Ephesians 1 out loud and to yourself several times until the words sink in. You might want to do this at least once a day.

I've found this out in my own life, you can't argue and reason with those doubts; you have to continually apply the Word of the Lord to those feelings and doubts. Let the Word take care of your brain (thoughts, feelings, etc.). It may take a while, but the more you apply the Word, the more it will work to heal. but you need to keep at it (think of it as a spiritual antibiotic. Keep at and let it do its job. )

Prayers!

[psalmone]

Hello, everyone;

For the past few months, I have been experiencing what feels like severe bouts of depression.

Aboput 7 years ago, I was institutionalized, placed on lithium, and diagnosed as manic depressive. A few months thereafter, I was taken off of the meds, being told by the doctor that I was not bipolar, but merely severely depressed (due to my circumstances).

Well, for the past few months, I have been experiencing what feels like TERRIBLE mood swings and torturous depression. My most recent episode lasted 2 weeks, and that was about a week ago...but today, I am depressed again...feeling much the same way I did before.

The last time it happened, it was triggered by an evangelism meeting that happened in my church. As I was driving home, I began feeling this horrible sense of depression...as though something hated me. I began questioning my salvation, feeling as though my life was pointless, confusion, worthlessness, and as though God didn't really love me. This isn't the first time I've felt this way.

I feel emotionally exhausted from trying to defend my salvation to myself all the time, and I am wondering if it is the enemy putting these thoughts in my head, or if I am experiencing a resurgence of the mood swings that put me away severeal years ago.

My spiritual state is a continual whirlwind of feeling a beautiful intimacy with God, as though His love is completely embracing me...to a sense that He is completely distant from me, and I have no assurance of salvation, which breaks my heart, because at this time in my life, I am very emotionally attached to Him, and can't imagine life, or an eternity, without Him.

I am wondering if I am being oppressed, or if I am simply regressing into mental illness, and need to seek out meds again. When the depression is particularly bad, I feel as though I'm going to lose my mind at any moment...the depression gets so bad that I feel that I will just snap and lose it, but whenever the depression comes on, it's as though I feel completely separated from God.

I am questioning the validity of God's promises to me, and whether or not I am a child of God, and it is getting COMPLETELY exhausting, although I continually pray and beg God for His strength, it hurts to even THINK that He is rejecting me.

I'm about at my wits end. I don't know if I should keep praying, seeking God, and trusting Him for this, or if I should seek psychiatric help. I also don't understand why it always happens after some event of spiritual significance, like church or ministry events.

This is extrememly confusing, painful, and scary. What if God has completely turned His back on me? What if He really doesn't want me? I stumbled in something earlier today, and now I feel that there is no hope for me. I've asked the Lord's forgiveness, but I feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into this depression.

What should I do?!!!!

Hi

Just to encourage you to endure towards a breakthrough. Maybe you want someone to help you get things clear? Fellowship might help.

The Word causes upsets to darkness, so yes there could be disturbances when the Word is preached. That is because the Word is living and demands change to lazy and concealed error in our lives and it makes things quake because of the inevitable transition that must happen.

Such has been my experience.

Keep on until breakthrough, God's Word is faithful. Let the Word fight for you, just meditate on the things that impact you and converse about it with others and you should be led into victory manifest.

God Bless.

[Searching soul23]

Probably more than anyone else, I seem to be enduring the exact same thing you have stated. The breakthrough for me came after a monumental social failure. But it couldn't have come at a more opportune time, because I was finally ready to pray through my issues, and seek God's will for my life rather than just the worldly wisdom of my psychologist. I think I can articulate this pretty well, finally. It helps to know my audience is someone who has a vested interest in what I am about to write.

My fight is with mental illness, bipolar disorder, lack of social awareness, seizure disorder, medication resistance, and more. But I am great at understanding things that can be put into words, so I may have some insights for you that you will find helpful. First of all, you say you have been struggling with bipolar disorder or some other mood disorder. Sounds like meds may help. There are a wide variety of antidepressants and mood stabilizers. If you are not already taking fish oil, that might be a good idea. And you definitely should get the opinion of an actual psychiatrist. He may recommend counseling as an adjunctive to drug treatment. If your psychologist knows what your psychiatrist is doing with your meds, he may be able to help you distinguish between situational depression and disappointment versus clinical depression or mood swings. Lithium is commonly used to treat psychosis, which it doesn't sound like you had. Depression is commonly treated with MAOI's, SSRI's, or a class of drugs that works on the neurotransmitter dopamine. One of the newer meds for bipolar is called Abilify, and I have no clue how it works, but I do take that one myself.

When you say that that you often get depression/dissappointment right after spiritually charged events, which I do too, it makes me really want to reach out to you and other people to whom this is happening. I figured out that for me, the situational dissappointment comes on when I am psyched for a good time, and then it doesn't happen. In the science called dianetics, scientists postulate that aberrative circuits are installed in our minds. For instance, in my case, one aberrative circuit might be the expectation that God will always bless be beyond my wildest dreams when I engage in church events. At the time it was installed, I was likely experiencing bipolar mania. I just walked into a church, prayed for guidance, picked up a bulletin, and was directed into a group that became a playground for my grandeous imagination. I played there for three years straight, and ever since that ended, all my spiritual ventures have absolutely paled in comparison. And this, as you might guess, has caused disappointment and unimaginable anguish.

Another source of social frustration is my brain injury itself, which has put some of the social activities my peers enjoy beyond my capacity to enjoy. Separation from peers is hard, when that's what you've been seeking your whole life. So I decided that I needed to find God for myself without my peers to prompt me. On the other hand, if you've been seeking God your whole life and now you don't seem to get the same enjoyment from Him, maybe He is leading you to try your wings in a new world. Maybe instead of being the one ministered to, it is time to minister, using your talents to increase the Kingdom. Say you find an area of ministry where your church is lacking and volunteer to start a small group or something. Sometimes it is counter-intuitive what you should do. I am still searching. Don't give up. Contact me if you want to. But definitely contact your doctor, too.

[GloryToGod!]

I can only comment from my own experiences. I have a chemical imbalance which, if left untreated, will swing into a deep depression every couple of years. After many years of trying to fight it on my own I now gladly take meds to eleviate this problem. It's my opinion that the enemy will use any foot hold he can get to further his kingdom. I bind the demons or evil spirits he trien to use on me in Jesus name and they do leave.

On a final note I would like to encourage you to put in a prayer request at this site. Also know that you ARE loved by God and others!

[AnotherTraveler]

The devil attacks us in our area of believing what God has said. God will never leave nor forsake you, yet the enemy lies and says that God is mad at us, that God has left us.

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Heb 11:6 (KJV)

After these things the word of the LORD came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward.

Gen 15:1 (KJV)

Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. 36 For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. 37 For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry. 38 Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. 39 But we are not of them who draw back unto perdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul.

Heb 10:35-39 (KJV)

God will reward your efforts in seaking Him, and the enemy wants you to lose confidence in God's faithfulness, take heart, God is with you.

[jackie d]

having dealt with years of drug addiction and then medications to treat bi-polar disorder then to be taken off of them and find that things were no different in my mind on or off the meds, I cannot comment on whether or not you should go back to seek medications....

I will say though that I have dealt with the very depressions you have described and have struggled with this for a very long time...it has only just been the past few weeks that I can actually feel a break though with this oppressive blanket that lays over me in those times. And pray that I never get another one....

Now I have a friend who has been a very faithful Christian for about 25 yrs and just recently fell into this too, she hadn't had one of these episodes for about 10 yrs....

I believe that the entire answer lies in God alone...

[Richard_yaash]

I also don't understand why it always happens after some event of spiritual significance, like church or ministry events.

Hi DarkNebulaWelder,

I can not offer you any real assistance in the other areas, but in this one perhaps I may offer you some insight:

I remember a time when I also went through the depression(s), the questioning, the doubting, etc., not too unlike some of what you are describing. Now, with regard to an event of 'spiritual significance'. I went through that many times. In fact, it got so bad that I would get extremely physically ill before such an event. So ill that I almost didn't go, yet as soon as I entered the event, I was fine. Afterwards, what you describe would also occur. In my case, it is my opinion that a certain 'entity' did not want me going to these events. Nor, did that same 'entity' want me walking away from such an event having taken anything good away from it with me.

In your case, my 'feeling' is that this is an attempt to nullify anything good that you may get or take with you from a spiritual event.

In my case, the events that I was attending at the time ultimately had a great impact in my life. Those events, forever changed the course of my life.

For whatever it may or may not be worth,

Richard

[redwing]

i always find comfort in this passage:

John 16:33 (King James Version)

King James Version (KJV)

Public Domain

33These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

blessings from kentucky.