Tired of being lonely and discouraged...

[stitchy]

I feel very disappointed and unhappy recently. I long to raise a family. I think this is my heart's deepest desire. To have my own family, to raise them with God's guidance and live my best for Him, to raise children in His name. My heart also longs to be loved by someone. And I have always really believed that God will send me someone because He knows what I need.

But I am still single, still feeling crappy about myself, still feeling unattractive and not good enough. I know that these feelings are silly. I know that because He made me, I am beautiful, because God does not make anything bad. He makes things good. I am beautiful because I am his daughter and He loves me so much. I love Him very much too.

I just don't understand why I keep meeting people I will take a real liking to, only to be let down time and time again. It's blow after blow to my self esteem, and I still keep trusting and believing in God only to keep on being disappointed.

It is not that I just want ANYONE to love me. I am not constantly falling in and out of "crushes" with people - but every now and again, there are guys who touch my heart. I think this happens to every person really. And for once, I'd just like everything to go smoothly - I want to meet someone who will feel the same for me as I do for him, and it all fall into place.

It is also not that I just selfishly want someone to love me. I long for the chance to love someone else. I want to do this for God. But I am never given these chances. I ask time and time again for God to give me a chance to show Him how much I can radiate his love to someone.

I got a chance last year, and I took it. I was very unsure about it, but I went for it, because I really believed God wanted it to be. I loved this guy because I wanted to help show God's love to him. I honestly went into the relationship feeling like that. Like whatever I did, I wanted to do it for God. That there was a guy here who I could really help, and influence with God's light.

But that relationship was utterly wrong. It ended badly too, and I was really really hurt. Why does this happen? It seems that I never get the chances I need to have, and always get chances that are wrong for me.

I know that I need to be living my life completely for God's will, and I agree with that and try my hardest. But I can still live for His will if I'm in love! So many other Christians do it. So many other Christians are given the chance to fall in love, and happily take it. But I am still all alone. No one notices me. How am I meant to trust God that I am beautiful if I am given every reason to believe the opposite?

There is someone who is special to me right now, which is what has brought all this on... I'm frustrated because God keeps on letting me be touched by people, but all in vain.... what am I meant to do? How am I meant to feel? What am I meant to think of myself?

I just want to show this guy how much he means to me... so that we can come together and honour God with our love..... but I can't... I never can.

I feel so alone.

[Serving God]

Girl, a problem shared is a problem halved, that's a good start in the right direction. I will encourage you by saying that don't focus too much on what you want God to do for you instead take your attention away from the problem and place it on God. I've been there, I know what what I'm talking about. Put your spare time and energy into doiing things like helping your elderly neighbours and your friends with children, you can offer to baby sit or to do the grocery shopping for someone who cannot do it for themselves. As you place your time and energy into doing things for God (joyfully - don't forget), your breakthrough will come before you know it because you are not concentrating on what you want all the time. The bible says give and it will be given to you, it means time, money, energy etc. Show God that you can still praise Him whether or not He has given you want you want, I think that's the greatest challenge for many of us.

[sweetycakes]

You are never alone

[stitchy]

I am really selfish. I'm sorry.

[Joelle]

I feel so sorry you feel so alone! But I can totally relate to what you're saying, I don't think you're being too selfish. I guess there's nothing wrong in feeling the way you do. I too remember being so eager for years about finding the right person and having my own family. But God's message to me was that I was lacking some important lessons and needed to learn that first. It really was a step by step process in my case. Then I did meet the right guy but again had to wait a while because there too was another lesson the Lord wanted me to learn. Things don't work the same for everyone, so my story's probably different from what you encounter, but I too think that focusing on God Himself is a good thing to start with (you may or may not have what you want at once, but I can assure you that you'll be abundantly blessed in ways you simply didn't imagine!)

[O'Dannyboy]

I feel ya Stitchy. Try having those same feelings at 38. Be thankful. Time is on your side.

[Honeybee88]

So many of us know how it is to feel that way, including myself. The only thing to do is seek and serve God and wait.

[Guest]

[stitchy]

I just wanted to say thank you for the support you all have given me, and for the guidance and encouragement. I feel a bit better now... at least, I feel a lot more willing to wait patiently for the Lord... perhaps in my frustration I just needed to vent, needed to know that God cared... and He has shown me now that He does...

God has all of us in His mighty hands and is looking after us all... even me.

[Xan]

Stitchy, you are not selfish. The marraige you want is what God wants. ServingGod is right. By going out there and keeping yourself busy, you not only bless others, but you will be more attractive to the kind of man you want to be with, and you will have enough going on that you won't be as likely to give your heart away too fast as we girls often do. Also, make a list of what you absolutely want in a husband and your deal breakers. That way, when you find a guy that sets your heart aflame, you're not as likely to ignore warning signs if your wants and needs are already written down. Another good reason to do that is if you meet someone who doesn't give you that initial spark, but he fits your criteria to a "T", then give him a chance and take time to get to know him. Good luck!