Marriage and relationship.

[angels4u]

Hi,

I was searching on the net about what God expects from a marriage, I found these marrige rules, its about 10 lessons, we can post maybe 1 a week and discuss what works in your mariage or want doesn't work. We can maybe share some of our own marriage and support each other.

Is anybody interested in looking what God expect from us?

Introduction.

GROUND RULES

This is not a group therapy or sex therapy class.

This is no place to air specific family problems.

This is no place to throw a dig or dart at your spouse.

We will use the Bible as our "marriage manual" and must take extra care about forcing our opinions.

This class is not for the purpose of making your spouse a better husband or wife, but to help you be a better spouse.

Our purpose is not only to help each of us to see what our responsibilities as husbands and wives are in view of the fact that God has created us and joined us together, but also to help us develop the proper relationship that God intended for us to have from the beginning.

We must learn to see ourselves in the marriage relationship first as Christians and second as husbands and wives.

BACKGROUND

According to reputable statistics five out of every ten marriages occurring in America will end in bitter conflict and divorce.

This is a tragic and especially since many who claim to be Christians are also included in those statistics.

But have you ever wondered what happens to the other five? Do they sail blissfully into the sunset and live "happily ever after."

According to clinical psychologist Neil Warren, all five will stay together for a lifetime, but in varying degrees of disharmony. Only one or two will achieve the "intimacy" in their relationship that God planned and wants for them.

The following article by Paul Earnhart will serve well as an introduction.

Marriage is not an object to be admired or an idea to be wondered at, it is a practical social institution designed by God to meet certain created human needs. It is a provision of God, given to bless and fulfill the longings of His creatures.

But if that is truly the case, how do we explain the living, breathing tragedy that most marriages have become in our twentieth century world. Not by pointing to the complexity of our modern social and economic environment. The secret of our failures in marriage does not lie anywhere outside our own hearts and the choices we have each made. Does this seem to dim the prospects for improvement? It ought to do the very opposite. Our ability to alter our circumstances is very limited, but we have absolute control over our attitudes. We may not be able to change our environment, but we can certainly change our values.

There are millions of married couples in today

[irishcowboy]

God gave me the opportunity to meet a wonderful lady when I was dead set against getting married again...... after I had been healed of the damage that had been done by me and my first wife...... our lives are one in Christ, one in God, one in Spirit.....

God brought us together, and God is keeping us together...... not even has there been anything thrown at the other since we have met, cause when we are together, we are with God and God does not let anything like that happen...

I am so greatful to God to keep us in His wonderous, Glorious, Loving arms....

mike

[angels4u]

Thanks for your reply, but what I don't get is why does it take so many couples 2 marriages to make it work?

Do too many men and women take each other for granted?

I would love to discuss this more indept thats why I thought it might be interesting for who is interested in it. There are more lessons to this course. This is only the introduction.

Angels

[angels4u]

Lesson 1:

MAKING MARRIAGE WORK LESSON 1

MYTHS AND POTHOLES THAT CAN RUIN YOUR MARRIAGE

MYTHS:

Marital weaknesses should be pinpointed and fixed.

Fun can wait.

Warning signs of a troubled marriage are easy to spot.

Good sex makes a good marriage.

The real strength of a marriage is based on emotional and financial security.

Being a good husband or wife comes natural.

The longer you live together the easier it is.

It takes both partners to save a marriage.

The longer we are married the less we enjoy each other.

Divorce without remarriage is always an option.

POTHOLES:

Hiding from intimacy

[Cerran]

I think a lot of marriages fail because of the expectations going into the marriage. The best thing I ever did before getting married was go through "marriage counseling" with my wife with our pastor. He absolutely resfused to marry us without it. He also recommended reading a book by John Gottman called "seven priciples of making marriage work" that was a great book.

Another pitfall is not discussing what you expect to get out of being married with your spouse BEFORE you get married. If they don't have the same expectations or at least close to it, that should be an immediate red flag.

[angels4u]

Hi Cerran,

I think you are right, I wonder how many couples really know each other before they get married?

I believe its extremely important to learn more from the family you get to deal with after you get married, like how close their family life is and how the parents cared for the children. Your wife/husband will bring that in your life ...look how their parents get along and personalities.

Angels

[papa T]

Possible marriages and Marriages:

Important-To me anyways:

1: Love (True Love)

2: Trust

3: Communication (A dialog..not a monolog)

4: Do things...together...(not watching TV either)

5: Patience

6: Understanding each other..(really listen)

7: Be the (two become one) scenario

there are others...I just wanted to put out there what is important to me in a relationship.

[irishcowboy]

part of the problem is that God is not the center of their lives, God is not the cement that bonds them......

alot of people have their own agenda that they are trying to accomplish.....

when we place God first, last, and always, in our lives, then God is with us thru all things.... when we put ourselves ahead of God, then we have walked away from where God is and then God is not with us.....

mike

[Guest LadyC]

i certainly knew my husband when i married him! i'd known him since birth!

i think one of the biggest problems most marriages face is complacency. the little things get lost along the way.

and when that happens, here's a few tips (besides prayer!)

LOOK at your spouse. in the daily rush of living, we often forget something so basic! we put communication in multi-task mode... our eyes are focused on the dinner we're cooking, the shelves we're hanging, the garbage we're emptying, the diapers we're changing, and we talk without eye contact. make time to talk to each other while actually looking into each other's eyes! amazing how much more we hear when our eyes are on the one we love.

keep looking! not only do we forget to look in each others eyes when we're talking, we forget to gaze upon the one we love and appreciate the physical qualities of that person!

touch your spouse! how long has it been since you held hands? since you played with his/her hair? since you rubbed his/her shoulders? carressed the inside of their arm, from wrist to elbow?

KISS! oh my, kissing is such an expression of intimacy! and i'm not just talking about a peck on the cheek, either. men, if you want to spark desire in your wife, give her a little tongue action!

give your spouse what you need. if you feel like the world's weighing you down and you need arms around you, put them around your spouse. if you want to feel love in their fingertips, caress your spouse. if there's too much tension for you to let down your guard and caress him/her, do it while he or she sleeps. you'll be amazed how uplifted YOU feel as a result, even if your spouse snores right thru it.

[angels4u]

Lesson 3:

MARRIAGE: THE VOW TO GOD

MARRIAGE: A CONTRACT ORDAINED BY GOD.

What one thing in all of God