Attn: Christian wives; how to spot a weasel

[FighterforJC]

I posted this last year I think, it's probably buried somewhere, but to those who haven't read:

There are several ways for a happy marriage to go bad. Adultery is probably as bad as it gets, but there are other pitfalls that might not necessarily lead to infidelity but could be just as detrimental to your marriage. I'm talking about that snake who wants to slither his way into your marriage, not with an adulterous heart but with the intent of becoming the authority who will ultimately call the shots in your marriage. While I'm sure both man and woman could be capable of such a thing, we'll focus on the male version of this particular snake. You know the type. This guy is not in a committed relationship of his own or is in a bad one, and gets his thrills and purpose in life by meddling in other people's business. This is the guy who spends his time desperately trying to detect any sign of weakness in your marriage, and then formulates his plan of attack around that weakness. His method revolves around trying to get the couple to disagree on anything, regardless of how insignificant that thing may be; a favorite color, favorite fast food, anything at all. Once he successfully incites a disagreement between the two, then he can move on to the next step. He will dilligently look for a private moment with the woman either in a phone conversation or even during the precious seconds that the husband walks out of the living room to go to the bathroom. A few moments is all he would need to inject his poison. It will be subtle and could be disguised as a simple question of how things are going in general. How the wife answers that question could be very crucial. Once any negative comment about life in general comes out of that woman's lips, she has entered into a binding contract with this guy that makes him officially a confidant of some capacity, which is 99% of his goal. This man will elevate himself as the one who has the answers. He will do everything in his power to develop his relationship with the wife and make her answer to HIM, not her husband. He wants to be in the position of authority, who the husband will be held accountable by. Here are some simple and very basic practices that can go a long way in protecting your marriage from such a person.

1) ACT AS A SINGLE UNIT- Do not fall into the trap of disagreeing in front of this devil, no matter how insignificant the disagreement is. Even if you have to LIE, you MUST stand your ground and not give this weasel a foothold on anything. Disagree with your spouse some other time, in private.

2) NEVER FORM ANY TYPE OF BOND WITH THIS MAN- This man will do anything to form a common bond with the wife, even if that common bond benefits the husband on the surface (plan a birthday party for him). Once that bond is formed, he would've accomplished his evil intentions.

3) DO NOT GRANT THIS MAN PRIVATE TIME- When he tries to speak in a low tone as to keep the conversation private, particularly for those brief moments where the husband has to leave the room, answer in a LOUD voice, even repeating his question or comment out loud if necessary, making it clear that you have no interest whatsoever in entering into any form of intimacy or personal relationship with him. Do not take or return his phone calls. A man has no business calling another man's wife unless the husband has given this man permission.

4) COMPLETELY SEVER ANY TIES WITH THIS MAN- Regardless of what you might've shared in the past or what help this man has been. By becoming a weasel, this man has negated every good thing he has ever done for you. Your marriage is the first priority and anything that undermines it should be cut off permanently.

[Xan]

I dealt with a married man at a synagogue I used to attend who is like what you described several years ago. I don't remember what the catalyst was, but I threw my left ring finger in his face and very loudly told him with several other members, including my then husband, around and told him, "You may not like it, but this ring means something to me." It was brought before our rabbi, and he later came to me and my husband with his wife and made an apology.

[mizzdy]

Sound advice.

[BFP]

Keep in mind that this "weasel" could very well be one of your own children:>)

[BFP]

how you deal with it would be a little different though...

[Guest]

Same Goes For The Fellows!

[Guest yod]

we shoot these people in Texas.

[Guest man]

All around the Mulberry Bush,

The monkey chased the weasel.

[MorningGlory]

All around the Mulberry Bush,

The monkey chased the weasel.

You're having entirely too much fun on this thread!

[Xan]

Pop! Goes the weasel.