What is going on with our youth???!

[sierra21]

Okay I recently saw some picture of my sixteen year old cousin on facebook. She was with her friends and they were all drinking, in very age-innappropriate clothing, and obviously drunk! There were boys and girls together, and no adults to be seen anywhere.

When I talked to her about it she couldn't understand why I was so upset. She said her mom knew and was okay with it as long as she doesn't drive. I couldn't believe that but when I talked to her mom (my aunt) she said the same thing! She feels that they're going to do it anyway, so you may as well be aware of it so that you can control it.

I asked her how she could control it if there was no adult supervision and she just shrugged her shoulders and walked away!

Is this seriously how parents are raising their kids today??! I would be EMBARRASSED if my child was doing what my cousin is doing, nevermind taking pictures and practically gloating about doing it!

How do we approach this?? I know that she isn't my child, but she is my family, and somehow this just doesn't seem right.

I am a social worker on a first nations reserve and if I got a referral of a similar situation, it is likely the teenager would be coming into care because the parent is failing to provide adequate care. I almost want to call CFS in that area and let them know because that is a child protection issue- the mother knows whats going on and either doesn't care enough to deal with it, or is truly allowing this VERY unsafe behaviour!

What are your thoughts? Am I overreacting or???

[mathqueen]

You are NOT over-reacting at all. As a high school teacher, I can sadly tell you that your cousin's behavior is very normal in today's world. I purposely do not ever go on myspace or facebook because I don't want to run into any of my students' pages and be distraught over what I see. Our discipline office uses it on a daily basis to catch kids on certain things, and that is very (sadly) effective. When they told me some of the stuff that they see posted on these kids' pages (some only FOURTEEN), I have to hold back the tears. It's devastating, really. Just a few weeks ago, when I was teaching summer school, the principal told me one of the girls there got kicked out because she sent VERY pornographic pics of herself via text/pic messaging to another boy in another class. This is the same girl I had campus security come pick up from outside my room because she was almost having sex with another boy in the hall during a passing period with a huge crowd of kids around watching (I sent the boy up with her too). They were actually putting on a show. Then another couple got busted for having sex in the bathroom (right by the office, are you kidding me???) during school this past spring. I hate this world. My students think I am so different from most of the other teachers they know because I hold them accountable for the decisions they make and refuse to let them tumble through this season in their lives. Most of their parents don't care anymore (or that's the impression I get from the ones I have to call). They are too busy wanting to be their friend and don't want to put in the effort it takes to PARENT. I can't begin to tell you the stories my students share with me...heartbreaking. We need to pray for these kids.

[kat8585]

I'm heartsick over my daughter's attitude about this with my grandkids, and also over them. She allows them to drink and have parties at her house (they live there). They are of age, almost. My grandson is and my granddaughter will be in 2 1/2 weeks. Her attitude is that she would rather do it at home than be out on the streets driving. It's obvious to anyone that they both have bad drinking problems. But what can one do? They don't see it, and they are safe at home.

[Guest]

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 1 Peter 5:8

[sierra21]

Yes, from the stories I'm hearing I think the best we can do is pray.

It's awful that some parents just dont "get it".

My parents would never allow that behaviour and the consequences would have been TOUGH if I had disobeyed. I knew that and made a concious decision not to take part in any of that junk. I'm VERY glad I didn't.....

[IslandRose]

The old saying "What parents allow in moderation their children will do in excess" comes into play here. I have seen it for years, and yet parents always seemed shocked when their kids go wrong.

[Smalcald]

It really is too bad.

The biggest myth that is propagated is that they are going to do it anyway, WRONG, SOME kids are going to do it anyway, and MANY kids are not. Which group do you want your kids in? The other myth is that kids with parents who set boundaries rebel, this is simply not true. Kids who have parents who have not paid attention, not given the time needed for years of consistent boundaries and formation; these are often the kids who are into this sort of thing. But yes, if a parent of a young person under the age of 21 is letting them use their house for drinking this is illegal and really at some level at some point needs to be reported. A party house is bad for the whole community. If I knew of parents in my community who did this I would report them if I was certain and had proof of what was going on.

Many kids want boundaries, parents can often serve as an excuse to resist peer pressure. (You know he has really strict parents and can't go...). As Christians supportive, active Christian youth groups can often serve as great buffers to this sort of culture as long as they are well run and centered on Christ.

But we must not lose heart not all kids are into these things. Some kids indeed stray for a time, but often return after a brief period. I don't think we should stereotype all youth today.

[irishcowboy]

in reply to the title....... they are lacking the fear of God.....

with out the fear of God, we do not believe we have a need for salvation.... .

it is obvious that this child, as with many others, has no respect for authority...... where does authority come from? it begins with God and works its way down to each and every person..... this child does not respect God, probably because this child has not been taught about God..... this child has no respect for you, for this child has not been taught to respect you or any other authority figure or ELDER..... this child does not know even the 10 commandments, might have heard them, but does not know them..... just as this child does not know God, or anything about God.....

we have brought this on ourselves, our society, our culture, our/this world...... the place to start looking to fix this is very simple...

really it is very simple, it will cost you every thing.... but it is free......

I started by looking in the mirror, and seeing what I was all about...... one moring years ago, when I did this, i looked in the mirror, getting ready for work, and I did not know the person looking back at me....... honest, i did not know who it was, and i was stone sober that morning.... when it finally hit me, i was looking at me, i made the statement (out loud and i was the only one there) Mike, your killing yourself..... and I was, my life was killing me and i did not realize it..... who was to blame? society, and i am part of that society....... who was to blame? my elders, and other person in authority, for not upholding that authority, but then that comes right back to me.......NOT RESPECTING THAT AUTHORITY WHEN IT WAS SHOWN........

antidisestablishment....... we dont need basic training....... we dont need to march in rows...... JUST ANOTHER SQUID IN THE STALL.....HEY CHIEF,,,,,,,,,, LEAVE THOSE SQUIDS ALONE,

or was that Hey Teacher, leave those kids alone..........

people do not respect themselves and then we wonder why they do not respect others, their friends family coworkers bosses, and also God.....

one that says they respect God, but does not do as their parents or aunts and uncles or grandparents say, disrespect God as well......

the Bible tells us all about it.....

mike

[Fraught]

i would make sure she does know you disapprove while at the same time, she knows you love her. that way, if she is ever in a position to need someone of what she considers a higher authority (which most teens will at some time), she will have you to come to as she will regard you as capable and responsible and caring.

we've all been teens ourself and i bet we remember how we felt about the adults that let us do whatever we wanted - even if they were our parents: deep down inside we questioned how much they really cared about us.

[Guest]

I've seen a lot of the behavior you describe, Sierra21.

The things you mentioned sadden me, but I have to admit not being surprised. I say this because I spent 3.5 years working hotel security.

Just when I thought I'd seen it all, I'd see something new and improved. I could probably write a book, but if I mentioned the hotel chain I'd get sued!

I don't have a car, so I get to see the little darlings on the city bus especially now that school is out. Kids today are growing up in a desert even though they have "everything" as far as the world is concerned. Sadly the older folks, like those 18-25 don't act much better for many of the same reasons - there is no fear of God before their eyes. They have no respect for themselves or others, which is not surprising when you remember they have been told they are essentially animals (evolution) all their lives.

There is good news though. These kids are hungry for something real. They've got all the toys, but most are empty inside - just like anyone without Christ. Gives lots of chances to witness, but most of that is through how we live out our lives before them. You said some of the kids notice a difference in your life - GOOD! That's the Lord working through you. Don't give up. Most of the chances I have had to witness to those kind of kids was because they saw something different about the way I did things.