Does the Spouse Come First? No Matter What?

[Smalcald]

I've heard it said that ones spouse is suppose to come first above all things... What about in front of and before children? What is someone has a child and remarries - should the new spouse now have precedence over the child? Should a man or woman cling to their spouse and regard the feelings of their spouse above their child?

Please give me your thoughts, and what you think that

Yes your spouse be it your first, second or third always comes first and foremost before your children. If your commitment to your spouse was made under the presents of God your flesh has become one. Spiritually speaking your spirits are also meshed together as one. The flesh and spirit of your children is separated from yours as well as their life. But the life of your wife is also your life.

Except that the biblical model is that the children are the flesh of two parents who are husband and wife forever joined as Christ Himself said; and if that were the case this whole thing would not even be an issue. So yes it makes a huge difference if it is a second or third or fourth marriage, it makes all of the difference actually. Once we leave that model we have all sorts of problems with men and women who have no connection to the children they are living with or have their "own" other children, so I don't know if we can then go back and apply scripture to those cases which are already well outside of scripture. The bond between parent and child will always be stronger than the bond between a man and a women who are married for a second or third time, and if people cannot accept that they should not re-marry with children in the home. We cannot divorce our children, but we have shown many times over that we are quite capable of divorcing our husbands and wives.

I don

[methinkshe]

I've heard it said that ones spouse is suppose to come first above all things... What about in front of and before children? What is someone has a child and remarries - should the new spouse now have precedence over the child? Should a man or woman cling to their spouse and regard the feelings of their spouse above their child?

Please give me your thoughts, and what you think that

Yes your spouse be it your first, second or third always comes first and foremost before your children. If your commitment to your spouse was made under the presents of God your flesh has become one. Spiritually speaking your spirits are also meshed together as one. The flesh and spirit of your children is separated from yours as well as their life. But the life of your wife is also your life.

Except that the biblical model is that the children are the flesh of two parents who are husband and wife forever joined as Christ Himself said; and if that were the case this whole thing would not even be an issue. So yes it makes a huge difference if it is a second or third or fourth marriage, it makes all of the difference actually. Once we leave that model we have all sorts of problems with men and women who have no connection to the children they are living with or have their "own" other children, so I don't know if we can then go back and apply scripture to those cases which are already well outside of scripture. The bond between parent and child will always be stronger than the bond between a man and a women who are married for a second or third time, and if people cannot accept that they should not re-marry with children in the home. We cannot divorce our children, but we have shown many times over that we are quite capable of divorcing our husbands and wives.

I don

[Massorite]

I've heard it said that ones spouse is suppose to come first above all things... What about in front of and before children? What is someone has a child and remarries - should the new spouse now have precedence over the child? Should a man or woman cling to their spouse and regard the feelings of their spouse above their child?

Please give me your thoughts, and what you think that

Yes your spouse be it your first, second or third always comes first and foremost before your children. If your commitment to your spouse was made under the presents of God your flesh has become one. Spiritually speaking your spirits are also meshed together as one. The flesh and spirit of your children is separated from yours as well as their life. But the life of your wife is also your life.

Except that the biblical model is that the children are the flesh of two parents who are husband and wife forever joined as Christ Himself said; and if that were the case this whole thing would not even be an issue. So yes it makes a huge difference if it is a second or third or fourth marriage, it makes all of the difference actually. Once we leave that model we have all sorts of problems with men and women who have no connection to the children they are living with or have their "own" other children, so I don't know if we can then go back and apply scripture to those cases which are already well outside of scripture. The bond between parent and child will always be stronger than the bond between a man and a women who are married for a second or third time, and if people cannot accept that they should not re-marry with children in the home. We cannot divorce our children, but we have shown many times over that we are quite capable of divorcing our husbands and wives.

I don

[givennewname]

Of course Jesus Christ comes first!

... but I perceive the question is about the position of a spouse as compared to the children in a home.

Let me share how "we" look at it. I say "we" because the Word of God told me that my wife and I will become one flesh. In other words, although we are two different people, we are to have the mind of Christ and unite together. So in a sense, we have become one person. Yes, she has her own opinions and we still struggle to find compromise at times (like what color to paint the bedroom)...but we are united in all our decisions, which are a little of her and a little of me. It takes a lot of effort to make it work sometimes...the way God intended...but we have found that when we put HIM first, most everything else falls easily into place.

Children (we have two adult sons) are the fruit of our marriage. They don't come first or second or last. Rather they are our responsibility to nurture, guide, discipline, love, educate, protect, and so on. It is lifetime work and it takes BOTH of us united to do the work.

So it isn't about who comes first or last. First God, then family...

How about that for a "Obama" response?

Wayne,

can I post a question about spouses who do not share he same zeal for Christ?

I have tried getting my wife to be involved in God's work.

I have been on mission trips, bible studies..

My wife seems very resentful that i have devoted so much time to such things. I have tried asking her to come along, but she has always offered excuses that i should spend more time with the children and her..

Just need yr advice as we seem to be poles apart and drifting apart..

[Guest]

Love

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

Your Wife

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Ephesians 5:25

Tenderly With Joy

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Colossians 3:19

And With Your Presence

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

1 Timothy 5:8

That's Close!

And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:20-25

Amen

[deafcanada]

Of course Jesus Christ comes first!

... but I perceive the question is about the position of a spouse as compared to the children in a home.

Let me share how "we" look at it. I say "we" because the Word of God told me that my wife and I will become one flesh. In other words, although we are two different people, we are to have the mind of Christ and unite together. So in a sense, we have become one person. Yes, she has her own opinions and we still struggle to find compromise at times (like what color to paint the bedroom)...but we are united in all our decisions, which are a little of her and a little of me. It takes a lot of effort to make it work sometimes...the way God intended...but we have found that when we put HIM first, most everything else falls easily into place.

Children (we have two adult sons) are the fruit of our marriage. They don't come first or second or last. Rather they are our responsibility to nurture, guide, discipline, love, educate, protect, and so on. It is lifetime work and it takes BOTH of us united to do the work.

So it isn't about who comes first or last. First God, then family...

How about that for a "Obama" response?

Wayne,

can I post a question about spouses who do not share he same zeal for Christ?

I have tried getting my wife to be involved in God's work.

I have been on mission trips, bible studies..

My wife seems very resentful that i have devoted so much time to such things. I have tried asking her to come along, but she has always offered excuses that i should spend more time with the children and her..

Just need yr advice as we seem to be poles apart and drifting apart..

hey,

I think that your wife is right because She had desires to be with you and she want you spend time with kids. i dont mean you are wrong for that if you notice that your wife is not happy or dont want to go with you, you should ask God about it and see what God want you to do. if you notice something in your marriage getting drifting apart, I think it is time for you to look into and ask God to help you to make the right decision. the marriage should be come first as God will honor you do that if you look into the marriage if you notice things go wrong and stirring up constantly, and se eyour kids getting into trouble or getting rebellious against you guys. if so then it is time to look into this. and pray with God about it.

that s what happened to me already.

Dc

[irishcowboy]

I've heard it said that ones spouse is suppose to come first above all things... What about in front of and before children? What is someone has a child and remarries - should the new spouse now have precedence over the child? Should a man or woman cling to thier spouse and regard the feelings of their spouse above thier child?

Please give me your thoughts, and what you think that

it is a package deal, when you remarry, or marry some one with the ready made family, it is a package deal......

however, the child will be with you only for a short time (18-21 years, after that, the child is stealing your blessings) , the spouse is suppose to be there forever....

above the spouse one is suppose to place GOD.... God First, Spouse next...... by putting God first, you will be placing your spouse first...... for if you are placing God first, you will be come more one with your spouse..... and more one with God.... and the three of you will become more one in each other....... GOD/HUSBAND/WIFE is one......

mike

oh yea,

one more thing of great importance......

THE BEST THING A FATHER CAN DO FOR HIS CHILDREN, IS TO LOVE THEIR MOTHER MORE THEN LIFE ITS SELF....

THE BEST THING A MOTHER CAN DO FOR HER CHILDREN, IS TO LOVE THEIR FATHER MORE THEN LIFE ITS SELF....

this is a great witness for God......

and above that, PRAY FOR EACH OTHER OUT LOUD EACH AND EVERY DAY, AND INCLUDE THE CHILDREN AND ALLOW THE CHILDREN IN ON THE PRAYERS..... covering each other

[Smalcald]

I agree with the concept of what people are saying in general, a happy healthy marriage is important to children, and yes we must honor that first to have a family.

But what does putting the spouse first mean? First over what? Is there a first and second in love? I am having a hard time getting my head around what we are really talking about.

As far as the package deal yes I agree it is a package, but it is also different, for example if you are a women you must realize that those kids already have a mother who will not be replaced simply by marriage and that mother will likely be in their lives all of their life, so the package would also include all of the EX's involved, as they are the parents of the children, so you not only marry the new spouse in some ways you marry her ex's also if there are children involved.

[Smalcald]

So should she put her husband first?

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/08/15/shaken.baby/index.html

[Guest LadyC]

i think there is a vast difference between putting one's husband first in normal everyday family matters, and staying married to a man who murdered your child.