The divorce and remarriage question

[Guest LadyC]

ezekiel, i already had the answer. i was asking you because i'm trying to get you to recognize that the answer you keep giving out is not taking God's grace into account. i stand firmly on the Bible. i was saved at age 7. i was baptized at age 8. i strayed away from God during my teenage years and kept running for a decade. during that time i married another backslid christian.... a preacher's kid at that. i initiated the divorce. i didn't care that i was wrong, i just wanted out after 7 years. the infidelity, the emotional abuse, it was too much to take, and though he was just as guilty, i will step up and admit that i was the one who initiated all those sins as well.

but years after the divorce i asked God's forgiveness. and HE GRANTED IT just as He grants forgiveness to any other sinner. HE is the judge, forturnately for me, you are not. God's wisdom is infinitely more than yours.

ten years after my divorce God chose a husband for me. certainly not a man i would have ever chosen for myself, and sometimes i have wondered why on earth God chose that particular man for me, but i know God has a plan and it is in progress and if i am faithful to honor this marriage, God's will in my husband's life and in my own will be completed.

God hates divorce. He would rather us not remarry. but God forgives the divorcee, and God's wisdom makes man's wisdom look foolish.

bottom line, you've got an incomplete assessment of scripture on the issue of remarriage, and i will encourage you to do further studying on it. there is far more to the subject written in the Bible than the few scriptures you are standing on.

[Guest LadyC]

I will stick with the what the word of God declares regardless of the fact that most of us (the church) have itching ears that want to be tickled. I would rather tell you the truth than tickle your ears.

no, you're not tickling my ears. i'm standing on the WORD OF GOD. the entire word of God. i've provided scripture, and someone posted a more in depth study that went far beyond what i posted, and your ears are closed because of some legalistic doctrine that is only partially biblical. that's why i'm encouraging you to do further study on the subject within God's word.

[Xan]

and what does the scripture say regarding forgiveness? are we bound by our past sin forever? or does God restore the divorcee just as He restores any other sinner? does "i will remember your sin no more" only apply to those who have not been divorced? just curious as to your take on those questions.

Forgive if I'm wrong, but I didn't see an answer to this question and I am very interested to find out the answer. I too was married and am now divorced and I don't believe that divorce is the only sin that is not forgiven. Hence, "I will remember your sin no more" is then considered invalid. Right??

Jaci, the act of divorce is not necessarily in itself a sin; although depending on the circumstances, it could be. God instituted divorce because sin entered the marraige. God would not introduce a sin to His people within His Torah (Law).

God never introduced divorce. If I am not mistaken....Moses did. The final word from God was that He HATES divorce.

Moses did not pen the Torah on his own. All scripture is from God. If we start down the dangerous path of saying the Torah was written by man and not given by God, all of scripture falls. As to the verse in Malachai you quoted, the original language used the word that means "putting away". God hates abandonment.

[Xan]

This is actually a question I've been asking God about for the last six years.

My situation: Six years ago, my husband molested my daughter. According to scripture, I can divorce him. In wanting to obey God and not doing something that will cause further damage, I have hesitated in getting a legal divorce from him. I am waiting for God to say "Yes" or "No". He hasn't yet. Instead, He keeps asking me what do I want to do. Until I know my own heart, I cannot know if my decision is in line with God's heart or not. Until God and I are in agreement, I won't take a step that I cannot know the future consequences of.

Before his sentencing, I decided to write a letter to him, not to send, only to put my emotions on paper to get them out of me. While writing this letter, I felt God's hand of conviction-but not where I expected it. There is some history here, but I'll be brief. My daughter is not the biological child of my husband. Before we were married, he and I dated for about six years. Feeling lonely, I turned to another guy who turned out to be abusive. I got pregnant in the process of trying to get out of the relationship with my head still intact. Once pregnant, I simply vanished, scared for the baby in me. My husband, even after what I did to him, chose to marry me and be the father to my daughter. He covered us, even if he wasn't aware of what he was doing. It was such a gracious and merciful act! I understand better now how God's love covers our sin.

When I married him, I meant "Til death do us part". I chose him as my husband, and I chose to remain faithful to him until death. After what he did, how could I? So, during the letter, God reminded me of his decision to cover my sin. That is what convicted me. How could I, in good conscience, not do the same for him? Is his situation not worse than mine was? Is his sin any greater than mine? What covers all sin? Love. God has not abandoned him. And in my heart, I can't either. If he ever needed love, he needs it now. If he ever needed an example of true forgiveness, he needs it now. I want so much to be like Jesus. Jesus has never left me no matter what I've done and will trip up and do in the future. All I can do is what Jesus did for me.

But it doesn't come without some trepidation, consequences, and serious questions. There are many who don't understand my reason for staying married and will slander me, thinking I'm as insane as he is. There are practical reasons for getting divorced too, all of which makes perfect sense. And then there is my daughter. Will she hate me for not divorcing the man who did such a thing to her? Will she listen to my reason and understand the love of God?

I'm tearing up as I write this because this hurts so much. I want so much for God's love of us to be seen, but I will pay for it. I want God's will to be done. Jesus died for me. His love for me took Him to the cross. He paid for loving us too. Jesus loves my husband. All I can do is what I see Jesus doing. All I can do is lay before God, helpless and trusting that God's will be done.

Whatever your decision is between you and God. However, do not put your little girl in harm's way.

[Xan]

The biblical answer is unless your ex is either dead or left you because you were a christian then you should not remarry. If that makes you mad just remember I didn't say it God did.

My unbelieving husband left because I was sick, not because I was a Christian. However, I'm glad he did despite how utterly terrifying it was to be left alone with two kids when I was sick.

[Guest LadyC]

I will stick with the what the word of God declares regardless of the fact that most of us (the church) have itching ears that want to be tickled. I would rather tell you the truth than tickle your ears.

no, you're not tickling my ears.

No I am not and I will not.

you seem to be missing the point. i never asked you to tickle my ears. i asked you to consider opening YOUR ears to the ENTIRE word of God and stop standing on legalism and instead rejoice in the grace in which you (AND I, and all other christians who have been divorced and come to repentance, even those who have married again) now stand. the legalism you stand on is man's, not God's. scripture must be read and studied in its entirety, not piece-milled as you are currently doing. sorry, but i'm not going to tickle your ears either. study to show thyself approved.

[kat8585]

The biblical answer is unless your ex is either dead or left you because you were a christian then you should not remarry. If that makes you mad just remember I didn't say it God did.

My unbelieving husband left because I was sick, not because I was a Christian. However, I'm glad he did despite how utterly terrifying it was to be left alone with two kids when I was sick.

How about a husband who claimed he believed, but didn't walk the walk, then left me for another woman?

[Xan]

- Personally I do not believe that 're' marriage is biblical in any sense because it has the connotation that a lawful marriage can be broken, and a new one can take place. I believe that divorce is only biblical if there was no legal marriage in the first place, so you wouldn't get 're' married, you would get married.

- Jesus teaches us that getting a divorce and then marrying is comitting adultery through the gospels, Matt. 19:9; Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18

- We are given an 'exception clause' in Matt. 5:31-32, in which Christ say's divorce is alright if the sin of 'porneia' is committed (unlawful intercourse) which is not 'moicheia' (adultery). How do we reconcile Christ telling us that divorce is unlawful and then turning around and saying its lawful in certain circumstances? Christ is not contradicting Himself, He tells us that a lawful marriage can never be disolved, but you can get a divorce if there was never a 'lawful' marriage that actually took place. If the immoral act of 'porneia' is committed in a marriage, the marriage was never legal meaning that the two partners did not understand what marriage was when it took place, and thus a divorce is fine because there wan't even a marriage to begin with.

- The key word is 're' marriage. Christ absolutely forbids this, because to get 're' married would imply one could have a lawful marriage, sever that union, and participate in another lawful marriage. This is not possible as Christ tells us. Divorce is only permitted if a lawful marriage never took place in the first place, because the marriage then is only a legal one, not a marriage in God's eyes, and you couldn't get 're' married, you would participate in your first lawful marriage. Many Churches term this 'annulment' because the marriage was null and void in God's eyes.

- However these are only my personal thoughts and I do not wish to offend anyone in any manner, I know how emotional divorces can be, but at the same time I have to hold to my principles, and respect anyone else who holds to theirs

God bless

What is unlawful intercourse within a marraige?

[Xan]

The biblical answer is unless your ex is either dead or left you because you were a christian then you should not remarry. If that makes you mad just remember I didn't say it God did.

My unbelieving husband left because I was sick, not because I was a Christian. However, I'm glad he did despite how utterly terrifying it was to be left alone with two kids when I was sick.

How about a husband who claimed he believed, but didn't walk the walk, then left me for another woman?

Let's go ask Ezekiel.

BTW, I want to ask all those who stand on the misinterpretations that have confused the language of "putting away" with "divorce" if they have yet read the article Nicole posted on page 4. Also, is seperation (putting away) the same thing as divorce?

[Xan]

- There is a middle ground however, which is what I believe, that God moved the authors in such a way that they had no desire to write anything else down but what He was revealing to them, as far as truths go. Anything they affirm (the authors) the Holy Ghost affirms, however it was written by humans and in human language so we can comprehend these truths.

God bless

This is true. Therefore, what is written in the Law is God's Law and not of any man even though it was written by a man.