I need some Christian advice.

[KeilanS]

Hey everyone.

I feel as if my faith has been slipping lately. I'm still a Christian but it doesn't feel like it means as much. I heard someone talking about how you need a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. And I try to have one, but sometimes I feel like it's such a small ignored part of my life. The rest is spent with university, friends and other distractions. Now, that is a huge topic, and I'm trying to address it. But something I believe might be related is popping up as well.

I've become scared of dying. And not just a little bit. Like petrified. I don't like being alone at night anymore, or in isolated areas. It started when I started university, I was so excited about it, and the idea of dying before I was finished began to scare me. I enjoy what I'm doing so much and I want more than anything to have a chance to do what I can (I am studying mathematics, and would like to research it as a career). Now that has settled into a general fear of death. I lie awake at night sometimes afraid that someone will break into the house. And I worry when I read about murders in the paper.

It feels like life seems so much more fragile than it used to be. And it scares me. I don't even really know what to ask here. How do I stop this? I want to be able to go to sleep in an empty house again without feeling afraid.

-Keilan

[Botz]

Hi Keilan. I went through your blog, and a page of your posts to get some idea of the young man I am addressing. I really liked the wild-life photos and the way you described trying to capture the different critters on film.

A friend of mine who helped me during a difficult part of my life twenty years ago, once told me that we can have as much or as little of Jesus as we want...in other words you can know Him as your friend and Saviour, or as a vague acquaintance and your Saviour. It was not a scriptural definition as such, but it was born out of her personal experience and walk with the L-rd, and is a helpful reminder that He is always there...even when our love for Him is tepid, and our joy in Him is minimal...He is always there.

Many people go through a fear of dying at times in their life, even Christians...as a song once said, 'everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die'. I think in your circumstances it is good to discuss your fear with several trusted friends, and with your parents. If necessary...and it would seem that it is, get some people to pray for you, and with you, as you seek to draw the words of truth around your heart, and open yourself up to the comfort and encouragement of the Holy Ghost.

Personally I would suggest you also read and enjoy the Scriptures, and glean your answers from the lives of men and women of faith who strove with all sorts of things, just like you and I do...above all look to the L-rd who is the Author and the Finisher of our faith. Ultimately you have to live your life, and you have to come up with your own faith which will blossom and grow strong if you meet G-d half way. Maybe try and become desperate for His presence rather than focusing on the potential of death. King David is a great example, and is not afraid to expose his weaknesses through the Psalms, but also to show where his help and strength came from. May the L-rd bless you, become more real to you, and lift your spirit.

[KeilanS]

Botz, your reply has me almost in tears. I couldn't tell you exactly why, but it does feel good just to have somebody respond back to me about it. I was especially moved that you took the time to look at my blog. Thank you.

I am going to my youth pastor's house tomorrow. Maybe I will request to talk with her about it sometime. I often feel like I don't have many people that I really trust with my fears but I guess I have to start somewhere.

I have been reading scriptures, but right now I am in Isaiah and it does not really feel relevant. I read the chapters and I'm left confused. Should I perhaps read somewhere else and save the "cover to cover" read for later?

[traveller]

Keilan

Talk to your pastor, or youth pastor. You need to get a handle on the fear. It can rule your life if left unchecked. I know that from experience. It takes prayer and focus. The best thing you can do to conquer it is talk about it outloud to someone that truly can hear what you're saying. That's why I suggest your pastor. And trust in the Lord. You don't walk this life all by yourself. He is with you everywhere you go. In the deepest night at the darkest hour, He is there with you. He will never leave you alone. He showed us that when He was in the midst of the Israelites in the desert. Though they were isolated in the middle of nowhere, still they could see the light of His glory, shining throughout the night. He doesn't want you to be afraid either.

2Ti 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

See that? Of a sound mind KeilanS. He even cares about our very thoughts.

You can do this thing. The Lord will be with you and guide you.

Ask Him to help you find a closer walk with Him. He will do this if it is in your heart. Pick up His word and read, look for Him there. Read the book of John to connect with Jesus. Look in 1 or 2 Samuel for war and suspense. Or the Chronicles. Pick your interests, but read.

And congrats on finding something you love. That in itself is a gift.

Be blessed exceeding abundant.

[KeilanS]

Thank you Traveller.

I will definately speak to my pastor. I can already tell what you mean about ruling your life. I feel like I'm starting to dread nightfall, just because I know the cold fear could come back.

I will also read the book of John. It's been awhile since I have.

[Botz]

Botz, your reply has me almost in tears. I couldn't tell you exactly why, but it does feel good just to have somebody respond back to me about it. I was especially moved that you took the time to look at my blog. Thank you.

I am going to my youth pastor's house tomorrow. Maybe I will request to talk with her about it sometime. I often feel like I don't have many people that I really trust with my fears but I guess I have to start somewhere.

I have been reading scriptures, but right now I am in Isaiah and it does not really feel relevant. I read the chapters and I'm left confused. Should I perhaps read somewhere else and save the "cover to cover" read for later?

No worries mate, we all have times when we need others for encouragement...G-d made us that way, and put us in the 'Body' for precisely times like these. I agree completely with Traveller, and never feel compelled to plough through difficult, and seemingly unproductive portions of Scripture, just to prove you can do it... that will come when necessary, rather look at the portions that lift you up and speak directly to your spirit. I was also going to say John, but also look at the Psalms...most are short and full of cries from the heart.

Hey I loved your blog...I take loads of pics myself, sometimes up to 500 a week...mostly of my horse and the local free range pigs, but I love the extraordinary rich tropical colours the wild-life in Hawaii has...isn't His creation marvellous!

All the best. Botz

[kross]

I am not always the most sensitive guy in the world, so I hope this come out OK.

You may be experiencing how easy it is to get caught up in the joys of this world and have taken your eyes off of what comes next. The more you start to get attached to your life here, the harder it is to think it might not play out the way you want it to.

I, for one, am looking excitedly to the day when JESUS calls me home to be with HIM. While I realize that most of what we hear about heaven or life on the New Earth sounds boring, I am convinced that it is going to be a million times more fun and exciting than anything this life can offer.

If there is any advice i can give it would be to remember that you are not a citizen of this world, you are just passing through for a short while.

[KeilanS]

Kross. I am also not the most sensitive guy in the world. So it's all good.

I think it is definatly fair to say that I am getting too caught up in the world. But it makes me think, how do I stop it? Like is it wrong for me to be passionate about what I study? I suppose a lot of the being caught is more about exciting plans for the future. I find it very difficult not to get caught up in how cool it will be when I'm finished university and finally get to work.

Botz, the colours are definatly what stands out in Hawaii. You'll come across leaves that are the size of dinner plates and the richest green I've ever seen. It is quite the place. Thanks again for the advice!

[kross]

Kross. I am also not the most sensitive guy in the world. So it's all good.

I think it is definatly fair to say that I am getting too caught up in the world. But it makes me think, how do I stop it? Like is it wrong for me to be passionate about what I study? I suppose a lot of the being caught is more about exciting plans for the future. I find it very difficult not to get caught up in how cool it will be when I'm finished university and finally get to work.

Botz, the colours are definatly what stands out in Hawaii. You'll come across leaves that are the size of dinner plates and the richest green I've ever seen. It is quite the place. Thanks again for the advice!

Keilan,

I am not an ambitious man. I hated school. When I became a Christian, I truly surendered my life to JESUS. I try not to make plans or look to the future so that where ever HE wants me to be or whatever HE wants me to do, I will be ready to drop what I am doing and go and do what HE wants. But, thank GOD, I do not expect others to be the same way. It is a calling.

So, I can tell you that I have always had a great relationship with GOD because I have such a bad relationship with the world. The concept of serving two masters.

I guess I would add that in your excitement about the future, have you included how service to GOD fits in? If you can see what you are headed towards as an oportunity for ministry, than your plans for your life and your relationship with GOD will be even more exciting.

You never have to do a "one or the other" unless you are headed down an evil path. Take the time to establish GOD in your plans and you will also see the added blessings of HIS assistance.

HIS peace and love to you.

[yesult]

Sometimes we can get distracted. And it's not wrong to love things that God's gifted us with, but we just can't let them get in between our relationship with God. He has to come first.

It's great that you're going to talk to your youth pastor. Have you ever given your life to God, lock, stock and barrel - for him to do whatever he wants with it?