Marriage

[Floatingaxe]

I need some help. I have been involved with my partner now for 12 years. I want to get married because I love him and I am a Christian and that is what the Bible says that I should d. That is what I ahve been told. I can't seem to beable to find it anywhere in the Bible though. I am wandering if is the "Southern Baptist" Doctrination that says this or does it actually say in te Bible that you must be married. I am trying to lead him to the Lord. But I am not havein much luck there either.

Any help would be much appreciated!!!!!

Thanks

G.A.P.

What I'm wondering is why you have given this man 12 of the best years of your life? IF you are living together, you need to leave, now! If you are a Christian, that is what the Bible says you should do. You can't find it in the Bible that you have to be married because it's not there. Don't waste any more of your life. If he is going to come to the Lord, he will anyway, and you don't want to be a stumbling block by living in sin.

Exactly, kat.

[Guest ~zoe-girl~]

I need some help. I have been involved with my partner now for 12 years. I want to get married because I love him and I am a Christian and that is what the Bible says that I should d. That is what I ahve been told. I can't seem to beable to find it anywhere in the Bible though. I am wandering if is the "Southern Baptist" Doctrination that says this or does it actually say in te Bible that you must be married. I am trying to lead him to the Lord. But I am not havein much luck there either.

Any help would be much appreciated!!!!!

Thanks

G.A.P.

Hi GAP

Okay I'm taking a deep breath here and trying to answer you without offending or hurting you. I agree with the concerns from the other replies, because I am in that situation.

Sweetie, he is never EVER going to change for you, so if it doesn't come from his heart that he consciously wants to make the choice to follow the Lord, then you are heading for a major disaster. Unless the Lord intervenes, you are going to marry an unbeliever, which in the eyes of the Lord is not to be done.

Being married to an unbeliever is the hardest thing that a wife can bear! I tell you now that you are as a Christian heading towards many heartaches and a lot of tears. The burden of being unequally yoked is something that I do not wish on my greatest enemy, it's just unbearable at times. Your faith will always drive a wedge between the two of you, is that what you want?

Are you willing to be with this man for the rest of your life, living with the possibility that he may never be saved?

Are you willing to take emotional beatings because he cannot stand to live with you and your faith?

Are you willing to bend God's rules and commands for this man? (Is it worth the price?)

Are you willing to cry day and night before the Lord, wondering when the ache in your heart is ever going to end?

Are you willing to be intimate with this man, knowing full well that there is a clash between dark and light and you are ONE with this man in God's eyes? (Sleeping with the enemy!)

I don't want to sound negative GAP, but I pray, please don't make that mistake. You are headed for disaster and unnecessary heartache. Is this what God wants for you? Is this the man that God intended you to spend the rest of your life with? Would God do that to you, knowing that He said otherwise in His Word concerning fellowship with darkness?

Please prayerfully seek the Lord about this.

The price is too high to pay... I know!

Blessings and I will pray for you.

Esther

Well stated~

ZG

[nebula]

Hi, G.A.P.

I do not know to what degree you have taken his relationship. Nor do I know the spiritual condition of this man.

But as the others have pointed out, and I hope you understand this.

Sexual relations outside of marriage is against God's ways.

A believer marrying a non-believer is outside of God's ways.

If you engaged in sexual relations, you need to repent (confess your sin and cease the activity).

If he is not a believer, you should not get married to him.

Apart from that, there are no commands or restrictions.

On the practical side, however, I have to wonder about a relationship that has gone on for 12 years without a commitment?

Maybe there really is a valid reason (i.e. finances?), but this duration in and of itself rings warning bells to me. My brother and his now wife began their "dating relationship" with the intent of preparing for marriage.

What is your and his intention with the relationship? Why has this been dragged out for so long?

[Guest man]

What I'm wondering is why you have given this man 12 of the best years of your life? IF you are living together, you need to leave, now! If you are a Christian, that is what the Bible says you should do. You can't find it in the Bible that you have to be married because it's not there. Don't waste any more of your life. If he is going to come to the Lord, he will anyway, and you don't want to be a stumbling block by living in sin.

I'm really glad I never come here for advice.

You know man, sometimes the truth hurts but if it's going to save someone from eternal separation from God, then it needs to be said and the temporary hurt is worth it. We can only be complacent for so long before we run into trouble.

Actually the truth doesn't hurt.

Do you see what I highlighted?

G.A.P stated that she loved that man. She came here looking for advice only to have someone question why she wasted 12 years of her life on someone she's in love with.

That's not advice. That's not something I would want to hear if I was the one doing the asking. It's just rude.

I never said she shouldn't get married. I actually didn't give her any advice. I was in her shoes at one time. Like her, it was 12 years. 11 1/2 of those years were very happy years. I wouldn't trade'em for anything. As bad as the last 6 months were, I wouldn't even trade them, because it was at that time, when I was at my lowest I have ever been that God touched me. He showed me things and did things for me that I never thought were possible and He hasn't stopped.

I'm not gonna tell her what she should do. She knows. All she has to do is make a decision.

You all say she's sinning. Name one person on this board that ain't.

[Guest shiloh357]

What I'm wondering is why you have given this man 12 of the best years of your life? IF you are living together, you need to leave, now! If you are a Christian, that is what the Bible says you should do. You can't find it in the Bible that you have to be married because it's not there. Don't waste any more of your life. If he is going to come to the Lord, he will anyway, and you don't want to be a stumbling block by living in sin.

I'm really glad I never come here for advice.

You know man, sometimes the truth hurts but if it's going to save someone from eternal separation from God, then it needs to be said and the temporary hurt is worth it. We can only be complacent for so long before we run into trouble.

Actually the truth doesn't hurt.

Do you see what I highlighted?

G.A.P stated that she loved that man. She came here looking for advice only to have someone question why she wasted 12 years of her life on someone she's in love with.

That's not advice. That's not something I would want to hear if I was the one doing the asking. It's just rude.

I never said she shouldn't get married. I actually didn't give her any advice. I was in her shoes at one time. Like her, it was 12 years. 11 1/2 of those years were very happy years. I wouldn't trade'em for anything. As bad as the last 6 months were, I wouldn't even trade them, because it was at that time, when I was at my lowest I have ever been that God touched me. He showed me things and did things for me that I never thought were possible and He hasn't stopped.

I'm not gonna tell her what she should do. She knows. All she has to do is make a decision.

You all say she's sinning. Name one person on this board that ain't.

There is old saying... When you find that you have worked yourself into a hole, the first thing you do is stop digging. If she is living in sin, then the first thing she needs to do is stop and repent. It really is that simple.

The advice may not be what a person WANTS to hear, but you do a greater disservice by not telling the truth and giving accurate advice.

Doctors don't like telling their patients they have cancer or they are a walking heart attack. But they have to tell the truth, no matter how unpleasant it is.

[Guest man]

What I'm wondering is why you have given this man 12 of the best years of your life? IF you are living together, you need to leave, now! If you are a Christian, that is what the Bible says you should do. You can't find it in the Bible that you have to be married because it's not there. Don't waste any more of your life. If he is going to come to the Lord, he will anyway, and you don't want to be a stumbling block by living in sin.

I'm really glad I never come here for advice.

You know man, sometimes the truth hurts but if it's going to save someone from eternal separation from God, then it needs to be said and the temporary hurt is worth it. We can only be complacent for so long before we run into trouble.

Actually the truth doesn't hurt.

Do you see what I highlighted?

G.A.P stated that she loved that man. She came here looking for advice only to have someone question why she wasted 12 years of her life on someone she's in love with.

That's not advice. That's not something I would want to hear if I was the one doing the asking. It's just rude.

I never said she shouldn't get married. I actually didn't give her any advice. I was in her shoes at one time. Like her, it was 12 years. 11 1/2 of those years were very happy years. I wouldn't trade'em for anything. As bad as the last 6 months were, I wouldn't even trade them, because it was at that time, when I was at my lowest I have ever been that God touched me. He showed me things and did things for me that I never thought were possible and He hasn't stopped.

I'm not gonna tell her what she should do. She knows. All she has to do is make a decision.

You all say she's sinning. Name one person on this board that ain't.

There is old saying... When you find that you have worked yourself into a hole, the first thing you do is stop digging. If she is living in sin, then the first thing she needs to do is stop and repent. It really is that simple.

The advice may not be what a person WANTS to hear, but you do a greater disservice by not telling the truth and giving accurate advice.

Doctors don't like telling their patients they have cancer or they are a walking heart attack. But they have to tell the truth, no matter how unpleasant it is.

Agreed.

[Smalcald]

I think the original OP was simply looking for some direct scripture concerning marriage and possibly sexual immorality. Also she never stated what the relationship between her and her partner or boyfriend entials. So I will make no assumptions in that regard.

I would simply start with the words of Christ:

1 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. 3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him,

[Guest MUSTBEBAPTIZEDINWATER]

I need some help. I have been involved with my partner now for 12 years. I want to get married because I love him and I am a Christian and that is what the Bible says that I should d. That is what I ahve been told. I can't seem to beable to find it anywhere in the Bible though. I am wandering if is the "Southern Baptist" Doctrination that says this or does it actually say in te Bible that you must be married. I am trying to lead him to the Lord. But I am not havein much luck there either.

Any help would be much appreciated!!!!!

Thanks

G.A.P.

I Corinthian 7:all it addresses this question head on. Paul tells us regarding sexual activity that it is better to marry than to burn,,,,,,, Sexual relations outside the bonds of marriage is sin in the eyes of God. I have two grown daughters ages 39 and 37 so when i say they are grown up they are. I remember when they were growing up I wanted to give my girls a reason why something that felt so good could be wrong outside marriage and why did God create them with those desires and then put it off limits until they got married because it did not make sense to me and when I grew up the explanation given to me was just don't do it and because God said so. That made God seem mean and distant and without understanding in my mind. And it also did not help me say no when I needed to. Anyway I told my own girls as I am telling you God knew that for the woman sexual intercourse took her emotions to be involved and her heart would be open, that is much more than just her legs. So God put sex inside the boundary of marriage because he so loved us that he wanted us protected from sexually transmitted desease and from broken hearts and he wanted that commitmant to be legally binding on both parties for faithfulness you know we earn priviledges with age much like staying up later at night. When your a teenager you get to stay up later than you did as a small child. My girls have told me sense then that my explanation caused them to know God loved them and that this was a privilidge earned for adults in marriage.. Later I began to explain to them that when we have intercourse a spiritual event takes place and whoever you are involved with becomes one with you.. Did you hear that? YOU become one spiritually. So, if you are hopping in bed with several partners before marriage you are spiritually connected to them and to their prior partners-( if that sin has not been repented of and those soul ties broken in the name of Jesus...). you just opened your life to a load of spiritual activity and you may not have understood that is what you did,

This is a big reason why things happen in our lives that cause us to stand back and think --I did not sew that seed- and honestly I don't deserve this---well maybe you did not but you did got to bed with someone who went to bed with someone who did in the spirit and thereby gave your consent to the demonic activity in there lives to become active in your life.... ouch! that is heavey yes it is but it is correct.. one way out from under the cruse---repent.. And that word means stop the activity that is wrong in the eyes of God. This is a big subject biblically, are you sure you want the answer? Yes the bible is clear on the fact that God tells you to marry. It is not Southern Baptist it is Bible. The cross of Jesus is where we break the power of the curse operating over our lives.. Jesus offers forgivness for all of our sin .. He requires that we ask for forgivness and that we turn from our sin and walk in the new life He offers....... We could talk more about this if you like... YOU ARE TOLD BY SCRIPTUER BY THE WAY NOT TO MARRY AN UNBELIEVER.

That will bring you serious problems down the road...... Because as Jesus said, "What part has darkness with light?" This has to do with communication in the relationship. The unsaved person will not understand the saved persons heart. They can not, they are still in darkenss spiritually.

[Guest HIS girl]

What I'm wondering is why you have given this man 12 of the best years of your life? IF you are living together, you need to leave, now! If you are a Christian, that is what the Bible says you should do. You can't find it in the Bible that you have to be married because it's not there. Don't waste any more of your life. If he is going to come to the Lord, he will anyway, and you don't want to be a stumbling block by living in sin.

I'm really glad I never come here for advice.

You know man, sometimes the truth hurts but if it's going to save someone from eternal separation from God, then it needs to be said and the temporary hurt is worth it. We can only be complacent for so long before we run into trouble.

Actually the truth doesn't hurt.

Do you see what I highlighted?

G.A.P stated that she loved that man. She came here looking for advice only to have someone question why she wasted 12 years of her life on someone she's in love with.

That's not advice. That's not something I would want to hear if I was the one doing the asking. It's just rude.

I never said she shouldn't get married. I actually didn't give her any advice. I was in her shoes at one time. Like her, it was 12 years. 11 1/2 of those years were very happy years. I wouldn't trade'em for anything. As bad as the last 6 months were, I wouldn't even trade them, because it was at that time, when I was at my lowest I have ever been that God touched me. He showed me things and did things for me that I never thought were possible and He hasn't stopped.

I'm not gonna tell her what she should do. She knows. All she has to do is make a decision.

You all say she's sinning. Name one person on this board that ain't.

There is old saying... When you find that you have worked yourself into a hole, the first thing you do is stop digging. If she is living in sin, then the first thing she needs to do is stop and repent. It really is that simple.

The advice may not be what a person WANTS to hear, but you do a greater disservice by not telling the truth and giving accurate advice.

Doctors don't like telling their patients they have cancer or they are a walking heart attack. But they have to tell the truth, no matter how unpleasant it is.

Agreed.

So why didn't you agree with me????

[Guest man]

Because.