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Posted

oops, sorry, i meant YOU have repented, and HE divorced.

nicky, do you know what God does with a sin you have committed once you repent of it? He throws it far, far away and never remembers it. it is like it never happened.

so although YOU remember that you were the first to leave, GOD doesn't remember it at all! All God remembers is that your husband divorced you.... and you are now free to remarry.

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Posted (edited)
no. the believer was "loosed" by the unbeliever.

Do verses 1Cor7:10-11 not apply?

It was always my understanding that God's ultimate desire is that two people would stay together and not seek a divorce when reading Matt 19:7-9 7 They said to Him,

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Posted
1 Cor 7:10-11

10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. This verse speaks of a wife leaving the husband but it certainly applies to the husband leaving the wife also.

As far as 1 Cor 7:10-11 is concerned, I believe it speaks to two believing persons, husband and wife, because of of verses 12-16 that follow after are instructions to any couple that have only one believer involved. I had a wife who left me. I was the believer... she was not. I, like you, was worried that I could never marry again and that I should hold out hoping for reconciliation. According to my pastor at the time, my wife was an unbeliever making it very clear to him and myself she wanted nothing to do with Christianity. Therefore according to 1 Cor 7:12-16, I was released from her in the eyes of God and free to marry again.

Thanks for your confirmation of what I was feeling was true. Our pastor spoke on 1Cor7:1-16 Sunday and he mentioned that v10-11 were indeed directed towards believers. As I mentioned earlier I have been hoping for reconciliation after my ex-wife recognizes her salvation through Jesus, our Lord and God. For the same reason you gave about v12-16 being addressed to unbelievers, my thoughts were in agreement. But I have learned not to trust my feelings in regard to what God is saying and instead rely strictly upon the truth.

So anyway now, my emotions are swinging again. On one hand, I am getting that feeling you get when a weight is lifted. On the other hand, I am suffering through those feelings of aloneness and separation that you get when you are first divorced.


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Posted (edited)
So anyway now, my emotions are swinging again. On one hand, I am getting that feeling you get when a weight is lifted. On the other hand, I am suffering through those feelings of aloneness and separation that you get when you are first divorced.

Oh how I remember what the suffering felt like. I too felt very alone :emot-heartbeat: even knowing the Lord was right by my side :emot-hug: but it was so very hard to not have the closeness, companionship of a warm, in-the-flesh human being next to me like I was so accustomed to having but PLEASE do NOT make the same mistakes I did. Suffice to say... in the end... you'll be soooooo glad to have remained faithful to the Lord :18:

I started dwelling on wanting her back. Unfortunately, I started wanting her back even though she wasn't a believer and I KNOW that she had been unfaithful to me sexually. I was so lonely, so desperate for companionship that I left the Lord and started running with other women. My salvation was so phenomenal. The presence of God was so strong in my life but that all seemed to leave quite quickly as I slipped into chasing women "of the world." Like David, I definitely lost the "joy of my salvation!" For quite some time I felt Godly sorrow for my sexual immorality and a strong "drawing" attempting to pull me back to the Lord but the cares of this life were more important to me and definitely "choking out the word!"

A verse that started coming to me over and over again that applied to the combination of what was happening in my life... dwelling on wanting my wife back and attempting to ease my pain by living in such debauchery - started haunting me!

Jeremiah 3:1

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Posted

it is not sinful for the believer to leave if the unbeliever commits adultery or forces him or her to live in ungodly ways. thats scriptural. on the other hand if they just couldnt be bothered persevering in prayer then yeh, it was the wrong thing to do.

no they are not obligated. if someone has been forced to divorce, then they are automatically free from the responsibility of that other person. the ties are broken and it is time to move on. they may remarry, infact, the word encourages women to remarry if they have been left and divorced or if there partner dies.

look up divorce in the bible.. youll get the answers very clearly for yourself, plus peace of mind that your getting the truth, and not just some peoples opinions.


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Posted

Here is the most common scenario that I see.

Two Christians are married, one or both is unhappy and wants to leave, the unhappy person commits adultery and has an affair. That person leaves and remarries the person they had an affair with and then repent and ask for forgiveness for what they have done. This is very very common and really pretty easy to answer biblically. Scripturally the person who had the affair and left is never free to marry their lover; that is ongoing adultery which importantly shows no remorse or repentance.

The person who was left is indeed free to divorce and remarry without guilt or remorse. However what we see in reality is the one who was cheated on is the one who ends up feeling guilty and bad about getting re-married and having a divorce! So we must be very careful about how we judge people have had a divorce, if they are Christian they are already feeling bad about the whole deal and 9 times out of 10, both parties are NOT to blame.


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Posted

These matters are not to be answered merely by law, but by spirit. The tenor of the Word is not simply for the sake of obeying, but to season the heart to tenderness. If the unbeliever has rejected the relationship, than this is an act of divorce all within itself. In this manner the unbeliever has really freed the believer


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Posted

I agree it really is a matter of the heart.

I have seen Christians who say well


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Posted
I agree it really is a matter of the heart.

I have seen Christians who say well

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Posted
no. the believer was "loosed" by the unbeliever.

Do verses 1Cor7:10-11 not apply?

Not if your spouse is an UNbeliever...keep reading past verse 11 there.

READERS SEE->Click->>> [url=http://studies.assembly-ministries.org/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=21]"Remain Unmarried or reconcile

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