jodetoad

Two separate problems here, both challenging. e lansing might have married them, had not the church division problem existed. The brother really forced the issue. My church has division, not related to a particular sin instance, but to personalities who refuse to give a pastor the authority he needs to function. Without that authority, he is an employee, subject to the whims of anyone and everyone. It is a major problem. As it stands, nobody has the authority to remove the problem people, so we barely function, and newcomers are repelled by our absurd politics. So I can see why e lansing had to do what he did.

I left home at 16. Didn't get my college degree until I was in my 50's. Not everybody gets their dreams. Not that I'm complaining, because what God had for me was better. My husband works at a camp for juvenile delinquents about your age - many don't have parents at all (have been in foster care or group homes for years), or would be better off if they didn't have parents, because the parents are criminals, drunken addicts, child abusers, in prison, etc. You gotta take the bad with the good, young 'un. You have more positive stuff in your life than you realize. As you get older, you'll see that even when you try as hard as you can, it is impossible to be fair to everybody, almost always. So we learn to accept people and situations as they are.

I too have had sleep trouble most of my life. Tried numerous things, usually the cure was worse than the problem. The single thing that helps most for me is exercise. The days I walk up the hill behind my house, I get tired at the right time, sleep well, and wake up early feeling pretty good. Started walking to control my weight, which it helped a lot with. When I slack off for long, the old troubles are back. Now in a slack period, today for instance there's smoke from a wildfire filling the valley. But it's always easy to find a reason not to walk. Praying.

I have been involved in dealing with government a lot lately, in a totally unrelated issue. The experience would probably be very similar. Bureaucrats who memorize giant rule books, and are more concerned with rules than reality. Complex and mind-boggling games a citizen has to play to even get a chance to talk to somebody. Technicalities of a city, overlaid by county rules, overlaid by state rules, with an icing of federal rules on top. Dealing with it means getting caught up like a rat in a maze. Go here, fill out this form, come to this hearing, you have 45 days to comment in writing. You don't understand the procedure? You poor dumb slob. We really don't want government more involved in families. Yeah, it's the best government in the history of mankind. But it's still the pits.

I hear different figures; 48%, 51% of people don't pay taxes, and most receive $ from the federal govt. They vote. Which of them will vote themselves a pay cut? Very depressing. We don't need just a deal on a debt ceiling, we need a whole new attitude. I'd accept a cut in Social Security, getting very near that age. Would even accept means testing, though it is unfair. But would enough people accept it? We are getting near the point in redistribution to chill motivation to achieve.

There might be some medical condition involved. A child in my family has some condition that made him mature extremely fast, he was over 6 feet and had whiskers in 5th grade, and very fat also.

I waitressed in my youth; I understand it. Just a couple months ago we went out to eat and screaming kids, whose older siblings were running around throwing things, made for an extremely unpleasant meal. It was not the restaurant's fault, but we haven't gone back. If I knew they had a policy like McDain's, I'd go back because the food is great. Remember being a young kid, and starting to act out, and having Dad take you outside for a 'discussion'? For me, if a second discussion was called for, it meant a spanking. When parents do this, it only takes a couple times, after that a look is enough.

You are quite right, our relative freedom is something to be grateful for. I do pray for you. Candice had a good point - both my husband and myself came from alcoholic families, and the only time they went to church was after some big blowup over drinking. We both got a twisted attitude toward religion, resentful at what we saw as hypocrisy. In the US, Christianity is publicly insulted and besmirched as a refuge for rednecks and incompetents. So we have our own challenges here. But certainly very few of us are constrained by family over marriage.

My husband was telling me about something he found online that interested him, called Urantia. The way he described it, it sounds like a combination of a cult, new age stuff, science fiction, and Christianity. My husband is not really a Christian, he "likes Christ's message", but that's it. It would be a mistake for me to try to urge him toward faith. I talk to him sometimes about my own faith, but that's it. When he was a kid, his family only went to church when there was a major uproar over his father's drinking, he has bad associations with religion, and resists it. He's a good man. You get the picture. He may have told me about Urantia to see if he would get a rise out of me. So all I said was that it sounds kind of off the wall. I looked Urantia up, it looks kind of silly. Supposedly it is revelations from space aliens. (!) If I understand it, believers feel they are the next step beyond Christianity, in a higher level of spirituality. Looks like something that would appeal to an egotist. *Edit link Removed* is their website, there are lots of sites. Site says it is not a religion... Do you know anything about it? Reviewed the site, not a good one to link to from worthy, thanks! -Isaiah

I have no kids. I watch my brother and others I know worry about their adult children, but nobody seems to know the right answer. Very difficult situation. Praying.

It is a struggle not to see the crud. For me, anyway. Lots of people think I'm shy, I prefer the term 'reserved'. But the real reason is the crud, and my experience with the crud. It helps to try to imagine a person's face when he was very young, how he or she might have looked with a shiny innocent face that his mother adored. Funny that came up immediately. My husband works in a camp for criminal boys. He is a thoughtful and kind person, and I know the damage he sees every day in these young people disturbs him. And Neb, you are right, it is much harder to look at one's self that way. Ed points out that God sees us this way, which is kind of mind-boggling. Worth pondering.

God could be doing a zillion things we have no idea of. Like creating other universes, or whatever. But I think He creates continually here. No Biblical support, but as a musician, I feel that God was working through Bach and Chopin, and through inspired people writing music now. As a lapidarist, I think God created the beauty in rocks. Sure, He put the systems in place that continually create rocks, but they don't have to be beautiful to serve their rocky purpose. I think He twiddles with them to make them gorgeous. And bird songs don't have to be beautiful. You could think of a thousand things like that. The way God works in our lives is tremendously creative, though not in a material way.

Jeff, I will pray for you. Your and Mizzdy's posts make me think of my Mom. She is elderly, nearly blind, and has other issues. She struggles with feeling worthless because she can do little and is dependent. I think that bothers her worse than her physical problems. She makes an effort to accept her situation, and she says trying to help others makes her feel she is still worthwhile. She can't go out, but writes and calls people, she says even if she can't see, she can listen. Lots of people need someone to listen. Seemingly endless pain has got to be a huge challenge. I get migraines, but I know they will end.

Yesterday our new pastor preached on "Taming the Tongue", from James 3. As our last pastor left due to malicious gossip, it was totally appropriate, although I don't know whether the new man is aware of the circumstances. Controlling one's tongue is challenging and difficult, and I felt the congregation was uneasy. But if he knows the situation, I'm glad he is preaching to the real issues in the congregation. If so, he is in for a hard time. We had one preacher who was into the emotional feel-good stuff, a guest who was into 'get Jesus and get rich', and our denomination is going politically correct liberal. It is really amazing that we all read the same Bible.

It's odd how sometimes we Christians expect not to have mental and emotional issues, yet we fully expect other health problems, family problems, accidents, financial disaster, etc. I have felt guilty that my faith must be weak if I'm depressed. But it's not true. The brain is NOT the spirit, it is an organ and can function incorrectly. A doctor explained to me that low serotonin (the usual cause of depression) can become a self-perpetuating condition, for chemical reasons. So medical treatment is required, thank God that today doctors can help with many conditions that just a few years ago could not really be treated. I take St. Johns Wort, an over-the-counter herb, and it seems to help me get depressed less often and less deeply. Praying.