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existential mabel

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About existential mabel

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  1. now this is weird and its been going on for some while now. i believe that i am experiencing dejavu almost like the tape has been left rolling now over the years i have had maybe the very occaisional one. i have no idea why this is happening. this weekend is the latest one even down to what i was thinking and how i shouldnt be feeling like that. now that is weird. if anyone has something helpful and postive to say then i would find that helpful. not interested in whacky stuff thanks in advance
  2. many thanks for all the replies. my new vicar is most likely fairly stressed by it and i am not in the communication loop. so will only manage to get an update on thursday if i manage to get to the said service.
  3. so many thanks for taking the time to read and pray very much appreciated
  4. right now she is in the middle of the country in a hospital some 4 hours away from home and her husband is not in good shape as he broke his leg recently and its still healing. he had a 2 or more hour journey to the hospital where is wife has been taken to, on windy and very narrow roads and refused being taken by others to the hospital. i think that they are both under spiritual attack
  5. hello today i have learnt what the title means. i was away on retreat and this lady talked to me about her high levels of continuing stress and how she ended up having broken heart syndrone. she explained to me that she used to work for the prison service and that i would say would be a major ongoing stress. which she managed for quite sometime. anyway today she had a heart attack for real and had to be airlifted to a hospital. i do not know how she is as i am now back from the retreat. it seems both her and her husband are crying out for connection, as 15 months into going to the church near me they dont feel that they are truly accepted... i think it is probably even deeper than that i believe that they may have been spiritually burnt by the evangelical church that i know of and the preacher there has got a bad review. this is just my opinion. Gee God saved me from that church thank the Lord.
  6. today i am feeling much more peaceful and managed to nip in the bud the gut wrenching hollowness i was experiencing as i started to try to sort out stuff that i had brought back to the flat from the family home. my mothers INR is very precarious alarmingly so. and she is due to get her results of the blood test on thursday which was taken on monday, (yesterday) . she cant seem to stabilise it. so its quite a worry.
  7. awwww thankyou Willa. today well the last number of days i have started to pray regularly for my family as that gives me a lot of material lol! now that i have completed (5 years of continual bible reading) this phase of bible study. i now feel ready to use the time differently. but i will continue in the bible but in a different way.
  8. tis hard to keep on top of anxiety as its a life long habit . trying to at least shorten its length. which at the moment means being extraordinarily busy. with the Lord's help... yep it is indeed. its meant that i have had to up my game somewhat! its just as well that i made a start a good decade ago! really was fortunate funny how God works! still a lot to do and i will get it done by friday! maybe not the gardening. ok thanks Amanda will migrate over that way next.
  9. i am feeling a lot lighter than i was earlier. i worked like a Trogen horse to condense the time taken by half today. back over tomorow. i have the family house to empty of 57 years and what i thought would be a number of months and therefore a gradual emptying.. before it would sell, has in effect turned into just a few weeks. however it aint over till the contracts are signed etc. i have only a few days to do this house emptying. .. and then i thought i might have left my gas kettle on which my flat is a good 40 min journey away. so yeah it has been a mamouth day. i have the shed and the glass house to empty and mowing and striming and weeding to do tomorow. well that is if it doesnt rain of course. so God is good. of course its still to be signed off etc but its looking very likely
  10. many thanks Amanda yes the bible...just not good at the praying bit as i keep flitting. however i have i believe completed the bible project 5 years! so now hopefully i can start to slow it down a bit and not be ever learning and yet not knowing.
  11. thats a childhood throw back as i wasnt encouraged to express myself be that anger or extremely happy. i still find emotions so hard to do. i envy spock on star trek! done a lot of crying and listening to very loud music in the car to physce myself up for a task that i had anticipated would be months and is now barely 2 weeks. thanks many thanks yes indeed everyday and especially every visit to my mother before she moved i asked God for the grace to cope with my mother as she constantly triggers me. my sister is learning what i had to expereeince over decades. i am studying the bible 5 y3ars now gosh how the time flies. somehow i need the light to break into the cycle of my past conditioning response to stress etc. hence the bible study renewing my mind. which is why i am perplexed as to why i am so at sea in the storm
  12. 0h dear not a good time as you can see. so much and so much more is going on in the family. my mother's health is in serious question at the moment to be honest its been on the horizion for a long while. both my sister and myself talk about it from time to time.. but not about it if you get what i mean. we both understand exactly what we mean as we cant quite bring ourselves to name it. just about everyone in my family is stressed by so much. i am constantly stressed why is this? i mean i am a christian . i keep phoning up helplines i just cant talk to God and anyway its just talking to myself. there i have said it. when things get tough God is absent or maybe i havent enough faith? i keep blocking things oiut which is why my mother moving to be nearer my sister is so critical as the only way i can 'cope' is to shut down. but my sister has so much on her plate and she is showing signs of high stress. i am not ready and prepared for this season that much i do know it seems. sorry its negative but i have both anxiety and depression at the moment
  13. Answer: Revelation 22:18-19 contains a warning to anyone who tampers with the biblical text: “For I testify together to everyone who hears the Words of the prophecy of this Book: If anyone adds to these things, God will add on him the plagues that have been written in this Book. And if anyone takes away from the Words of the Book of this prophecy, God will take away his part out of the Book of Life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which have been written in this Book.” The question is whether these verses refer to the whole Bible or just the Book of Revelatio https://www.gotquestions.org/Revelation-22-18-19.html
  14. i am remindeed of a little yeast....cant remember the scripture detail lol i bet someonebody does though!
  15. i got rid of the tv nearly a decade ago and i dont miss it. its so grim i havent the stomach for it. listen to world service radio instead from time to time
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