Would you?

[Blien]

Would you date someone who was married and has a child? The child is 15 months old, Fyi... think about this question though, if you've never been married. Because I haven't! And to me.. this seems like something that would not please God. Yet when I asked in prayer for God to deliver me a companion, well... she showed up. And she has made it known she likes me. (I'm turning 27 btw)

[OneLight]

Would you date someone who was married and has a child? The child is 15 months old, Fyi... think about this question though, if you've never been married. Because I haven't! And to me.. this seems like something that would not please God. Yet when I asked in prayer for God to deliver me a companion, well... she showed up. And she has made it known she likes me. (I'm turning 27 btw)

God tells us how this is answered. He alone has this truth. I will say that you are still young and not to be impatient.

[mizzdy]

I was 25 with a 5 and 3 year old and the man I married had just turned 21 when we got together. He has helped raise my children and was and is a great dad. It wasn't always easy especially dealing with an ex. but if it is meant to be then it will work out. How long have you know her and the child? Is the father around? These are the kind of issues you have to deal with before you make any commitment. Having a child is a big step to start with let alone going into a 'ready made' family is something else altogether.

[Guest LadyC]

Would you date someone who was married and has a child? The child is 15 months old, Fyi... think about this question though, if you've never been married. Because I haven't! And to me.. this seems like something that would not please God. Yet when I asked in prayer for God to deliver me a companion, well... she showed up. And she has made it known she likes me. (I'm turning 27 btw)

wait, i'm confused... this woman is already married to someone else? or are you saying she HAS been married but no longer is?

[O'Dannyboy]

It depends on what you call "date". These days it's not the same as courting or "going steady". Dating, (courting) by my definition, is fine as a means to get to know someone and discover how compatible you are.

A 15 month old child would not bother me and in fact offers an opportunity, should you become serious, to imprint on the child.

The divorced part is a bit of a problem and it would behoove you discover the cause of it before you entertain thoughts of commitment. These days divorce is seen as commonplace but I would recommend steering clear of those who have been divorced more than once.

[Blien]

I was 25 with a 5 and 3 year old and the man I married had just turned 21 when we got together. He has helped raise my children and was and is a great dad. It wasn't always easy especially dealing with an ex. but if it is meant to be then it will work out. How long have you know her and the child? Is the father around? These are the kind of issues you have to deal with before you make any commitment. Having a child is a big step to start with let alone going into a 'ready made' family is something else altogether.

I dont even know this person. As I said in the original posting, I prayed and she came. So we are still aquaintences.. the last time I was talking with her, she made it known to me that she liked me. And I also found out she was married but divorced. Also she is a lot younger than me! She told me she is 20..

Would you date someone who was married and has a child? The child is 15 months old, Fyi... think about this question though, if you've never been married. Because I haven't! And to me.. this seems like something that would not please God. Yet when I asked in prayer for God to deliver me a companion, well... she showed up. And she has made it known she likes me. (I'm turning 27 btw)

wait, i'm confused... this woman is already married to someone else? or are you saying she HAS been married but no longer is?

Yes she is divorced. If she was widowed, I would even ask this question lol..!!

It depends on what you call "date". These days it's not the same as courting or "going steady". Dating, (courting) by my definition, is fine as a means to get to know someone and discover how compatible you are.

A 15 month old child would not bother me and in fact offers an opportunity, should you become serious, to imprint on the child.

The divorced part is a bit of a problem and it would behoove you discover the cause of it before you entertain thoughts of commitment. These days divorce is seen as commonplace but I would recommend steering clear of those who have been divorced more than once.

By dating I mean exactly what you said, "get to know someone and discover how compatible you are". Yes, I will ask her why she was divorced and things like that..

[Guest man]

How long has she been divorced?

[Blien]

How long has she been divorced?

If I remember correctly, I think she told me since September of last year.

[Guest LadyC]

ok, i'm jumping in, but i absolutely refuse to get into some argument with those who will disagree with me, and i know there will be many.

first of all, if you are of the belief that if you were to eventually marry her, you'd be causing her to commit adultery, let me point out that there are biblical exceptions. you don't know (apparently) if she filed for divorce or her ex husband filed, or whether she had biblical grounds for divorcing.

secondly, i don't know if you have asked or or not, but if she has REPENTED, then her sin of divorce is forgiven. i know that there are many who totally disregard the scripture (and i don't have it handy at this second) that says "if you are bound, seek not to be loosed... if you are loosed, seek not to be bound, but and if you should marry, you have not sinned." yep, scripture says it right there. if you are loosed (from the bounds of marriage) and choose to marry, you have not sinned. why is this, given that there are so many seemingly contradictory verses? because once you have repented, you have been forgiven, and can not be punished for something you are forgiven for.

people often put God in a box. now you'll have to forgive me if i respond as if you were asking about marriage instead of dating, because i'm assuming that you feel that dating is pointless if it's not someone you might want to later marry. there is a tiny little girl who no longer has a father figure in her home, and may not be a good father figure in any sense of the word. and that tiny little baby may be exactly what God has brought her into your life for.

i am divorced. i was the one that filed for divorce, and adultery was something that both my ex and myself were guilty of. but i (eventually) repented of my sins, and then even further down the road, considered finding a life partner. now, my personal preferences were 1) a man who had no history of substance abuse, 2) a man who had been completely free of any relationship (marriage or serious dating) for AT LEAST a full year, and 3) a man who was spiritually stronger than i was.

but when i decided to start looking, i didn't ask for God to bring me any of those things. i figured i wasn't too good at finding mr. right on my own. so at the end of november of 98, i prayed instead that God would bring me the very best he had for me and my children... and the only specific that i added was that God would bring him to me by spring... the month of may to be exact.

and on the last day of may, enter the man who has now been my husband for ten years. he was an addict struggling to stay clean, and his divorce wasn't even final yet. the irony is that at the end of november, he had filed for divorce... because he was trying to get clean and his wife at the time was unwilling to get clean with him, and kept luring him back into drugs. and for a while i wondered why on earth God would bring HIM into my life? but i have no doubt that God orchestrated it according to His will.

we haven't always had an easy marriage, and his struggle with addiction continues even to this day (he is clean now, but that could change in an instant.) but through it all, God has given me this amazing unconditional love for him that i had never experienced before in my life. and it wasn't long after we married that God started revealing His purpose, His reasons for having brought us together.

so don't put God in that neat little box. get on your knees and pray for God to make it undeniably clear to you one way or another whether He has brought this woman into your life for a reason that may include marriage. don't rely on my response or anyone else's response. this is something that you HAVE to rely ONLY on God to answer. and when you have that answer, you will have peace about your decision and know it is from God, whether that decision is to date her or not.

[Fez]

ok, i'm jumping in, but i absolutely refuse to get into some argument with those who will disagree with me, and i know there will be many.

Ummm... Isn't that a bit of a confrontational way to start a conversation?