Dating a non-Christian

[georgedrw81]

Having accepted God and Jesus we are strong and can date an un-believer. It took my wife 24 years to make me accept God and Jesus.

Blessings

[humbleseeker]

I guess its one of those things that depends, in most cases I would say no. I am sure there are a few exceptions. One main thing you have to look at is this person going to hinder your walk with the Lord. If the answer is yes then dont do it. No matter how good looking, sweet, nice or anything. Keep Christ first.

[JCISGD]

It would have to be an audible voice from the Lord to get me to date an unbeliever.

When the Isralites married into other nations they always followed them into idol worship. I dont know why this is but it is.

As others have said dont.

I also dont believe dating is good or necessary fullstop and definatley no physical contact whatsoever. I personally have seen this seemingly harmless show of friendship go very wrong.

A man i know worked overseas for a year without pay, but did ask the Lord for a wife. Unbeknown to him a woman came on the next ship and said on arrival God had sent her to marry him. A few years on and two children they are still both happily married and serving the Lord.

[MelodyCat]

You can't change someone if they don't want to and so it would be foolish to date a non-beleiver in the hope they will get saved.

What you have to say to yourself. If I date this person and it gets serious and we decide to get married this person could still be a non-beleiver for the rest of my life. Can I handle his behaviour and attitudes NOW? Are they likely to led me from my own faith?

I have seen many of my friends date men who happily came to Church, they talked the talk and walked the walk, even getting baptised (in one case) to make their girlfriend happy. We all thought great they have said the salvation prayer they have come to Christ. Well not in every case. A few of these men turned out to have done all this to just get married and after they were married (and espeically after the first baby came along), they stopped coming to Church and declared they are not Christians they only did it to fool us all.

A few of these girls have immautre Christian husbands almost 30 years later. I defintely believe they are saved, but they haven't grown much. The girlfriends whose hubbies turned out to be faking their salvation and really didn't receive Christ are either divorced or have left the church and over time they have given up their faith for the sake of keepig their husbands.

There is no guarantee you can see this bloke come to Jesus. You have to be relaistic.

Having said all that I knowing married an unbeliever. Not one of my finest decisions in life. I didn't marry him thinking "Oh I will bring him to Christ". He was supportive of my faith he took me to Church and dropped me off. He had no problems with socialising with my Christian friends. However what did happen is many years later my husband asked me if I would explain to him what the Bible says about Jesus. We did a Bible study and He wanted to know more. Six months later after reading throught the Gospels and Acts my hubby asked how do you know when you are a Christian (we said a salvation prayer together that day). That was a few years ago now and I still have to pinch myself to see my hubby reading the Bible and going to church etc.. I'm still not over the fact my hubby has come to know Christ.

Now my Bible Study leader Margaret came to Christ early in her marriage. She has been married now 51 years and her husband is not a Believer. God has been good this man goes to Church (brought up in that way) with Margret and is happy for her to have Bible Study and prayer groups at their home. He helps out occasionally with Church activities but is still not a Christian. He is a lovely man and it breaks my Bible Study leaders heart that after all these years her husband has still not given his life to Jesus.

Reality is that not everyone gets what I have experienced. I am so fortunate. I cannot express my gladness at my husband having come to Christ. BUT not everyone sees that and honestly the statistics are against you.

Don't gamble with dating a non-christian. Ask the Lord for his salvation first. Let him go and pray that if it is God's Will He will bring this young man to salvation but do not date him. Dating does lead to having emotion ties that lead to marriage. I know that is how I let my guard down and ended up married to a non-Christian. My husband is a man of very good character and it was easy to be married to him but I did have a constant heavy heart that he wasn't saved. Magaret has had to bear the knowledge her husband is going to everlasting punishment for almost 50 years now. It can't be easy. He kids are also not believers like their father and of course none of her grandchildren are either. Not even interested in going to Church on the odd occassion to please their mother.

I'm not going to preach or quote scripture (I certainly have no right to do that). I just want you to realise that you could end up having to deal with a situation that you have not considered.

Edited December 12, 2009 by MelodyCat

[Sir Gareth]

1 Corinthians 7:16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

I am a gleaming example of why we must be obedient to the LORD. How can light dwell with darkness?

2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

Do not mistake. The Bible doesn't say the unbeliever is won over. It says may be won over.

1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

I know I know you might say "But I asked about dating not marriage."

Is dating not a time when a Christian finds out if their potential marriage partner is a believer?

Sure, sure but not everyone sees it that way but after all that Scripture about the dangers, do you still find dating her "appealing"? If so, then I implore you to sit at the feet of Jesus in prayer. Brother, I know the thoughts that run rampant through your mind. Trust me, I know them well. Do not be deceived. Please heed the warnings in Scripture. They are there for a reason.

I choke on my own words because I never thought I would be saying these things to someone else. I wanted to hit people upside the head with a baseball bat when they told me such things

Praying for you.

The passagein 1 cor 7 refers to a person who came to believe after they were already married.

[wyguy]

Thanks guys for the much food for thought.

[Believer1997]

Thanks guys for the much food for thought.

Everyone needs companionship and I do not think dating is a bad thing - at all. I think it's really the only way we get to know others. There is nothing wrong with finding out what other people think and believe. Share a meal - talk... Just never enter into any relationship thinking that you are going to change the other person - it just doesn't work out that way - Sometimes you want someone in your life so badly that you will change YOUR moral compass and beliefs to make things work - that is (I think) why we are cautioned about being with someone who is not equally yoked. Blessings...

[Sir Gareth]

Having accepted God and Jesus we are strong and can date an un-believer. It took my wife 24 years to make me accept God and Jesus.

Blessings

having accepted Christ i am strong enough to hang out with my junkie friends and not get high.

Having accepted Christ I'm strong enough to hang out in bars and not get drunk

Having accepted Christ I'm strong enough to watch pornography and not lust.

Do these make sense?

[Guest LadyC]

Having accepted God and Jesus we are strong and can date an un-believer. It took my wife 24 years to make me accept God and Jesus.

Blessings

having accepted Christ i am strong enough to hang out with my junkie friends and not get high.

Having accepted Christ I'm strong enough to hang out in bars and not get drunk

Having accepted Christ I'm strong enough to watch pornography and not lust.

Do these make sense?

see george, the thing is, God knew that our flesh is NOT strong enough to withstand the temptation of dating an unbeliever, that is why He so strongly urges us not to.

however, He also knew we are a sinful people who tend to follow what our flesh wants, and that many would not only date, but marry an unbeliever. sounds like that is the category your wife is in.

and because He knew that would happen, that is why He instructs the believing wife to stay with the unbelieving husband and not divorce him.... in the hopes that the husband will one day accept Christ as a result of the witness the wife has been. and that isn't a sure thing, by a long shot.

i've never met a believer who dated and/or married an unbeliever who was able to stand firmly for Christ during the dating relationship. the believer always gets their focus OFF of Jesus and onto the person they are dating, and to their own desires. i'd be willing to bet that if you were totally honest, you'd have to admit that your wife did not live her life according to how Jesus would want her to live while ya'll were dating. even if she was one of the very few who did not allow the relationship to become sexual before marriage, the very fact that she was ignoring God's instructions to not be unequally yoked indicates that she was not living her life for Christ.

all that being said, i'm very happy that after 24 years, you accepted Christ as your saviour, and that she was a part of being able to bring you to Christ. but understand, the two of you are the exception, not the rule. so when you say that "having accepted God and Jesus we are strong enough ..." to disobey Him, you're misleading people who may be contemplating doing just that. i know you're not intentionally misleading them, because you really believe that since it worked out for ya'll, it will work out for most. but that's a huge deception of the devil... a deception that the devil would love for you to pass on to others... so be wary of his wiles!

[CAP73]

Speaking from experience, it's a bad, bad idea to date an unbeliever. People are dragged down more easily than lifted up.