Un-Christian to NOT want to marry a Christian man because of his finan

[2Joyful]

For this sort are those who creep into households and make captive weak willed women.....

Greetings,

I reread this and the Holy Ghost has lead me to explain. By no means "weak willed women" was intended to reflect your Christian walk or you.

It was used as an example: Because we desire to love and be loved, sometimes what we think is a reflection of good isn't, and it can cause us to make bad

choices. Women have nurturing spirit, we feel we can change anything . Because of our patients and love, we receive victory through Christ Jesus

many times. But it can lead us into hurtful and broken relationships, and unloving and cold marriages. Simply because we began to think with our heart

alone, and leave the word of God, Jesus and the power of the Holy Ghost behind.

Joyful

[Slepsog4]

It is never un-Christian not to want to marry someone. It can be for a myriad of reasons. But this seems to indicate a serious character flaw.

Scripture says that the man who will not work should not eat.

[fromIslam2Christ]

For this sort are those who creep into households and make captive weak willed women.....

Greetings,

I reread this and the Holy Ghost has lead me to explain. By no means "weak willed women" was intended to reflect your Christian walk or you.

It was used as an example: Because we desire to love and be loved, sometimes what we think is a reflection of good isn't, and it can cause us to make bad

choices. Women have nurturing spirit, we feel we can change anything . Because of our patients and love, we receive victory through Christ Jesus

many times. But it can lead us into hurtful and broken relationships, and unloving and cold marriages. Simply because we began to think with our heart

alone, and leave the word of God, Jesus and the power of the Holy Ghost behind.

Joyful

Joyful,

Thank you. You are quite on point. And I appreciate the explanation of this verse, which I always wondered what weak-willed meant. It is true that the hope that we can change others is there... And also falling for the victim role the man is playing, where as a Christian one feels sorry that the man has neck pains and is broke...

I guess all this is manipulation too....

An open-ended question is why do certain women attract only such men?? Is it because these women are too hard-working and independent?? Should women start behaving like dependent whiny people so that independent and hardworking men would come to them???

How confusing.

[south]

An open-ended question is why do certain women attract only such men?? Is it because these women are too hard-working and independent?? Should women start behaving like dependent whiny people so that independent and hardworking men would come to them???

How confusing.

I have many women friends who are very hardworking and independent and they have been blessed with really wonderful husbands who are as hardworking and independent as them. And I don't think women should behave in a certain way just so men would come to them. I think it is best to be yourself.

I do think it is important to be careful about the kind of people we associate with, and the groups we join, and our motives for joining them.

God knows the desires of your heart, and He alone can grant them in His own beautiful time. I think when one relationship does not work out, just think that maybe it is for the best and that God has a much better plan. God does not withhold anything good from His children.

Blessings...South

[nebula]

An open-ended question is why do certain women attract only such men??

This is a common counseling question. Women who grew up under oppressive fathers tend to hook up with oppressive men. There might be better ways to express that. And it does get more complicated than that. But more often than not, there's a tie between unhealed relations between girls and fathers (and sometimes mothers, if they were oppressive) and their hooking up with men who treat her the way her father did.

There could be other reasons, but that is the most common.

[Fez]

An open-ended question is why do certain women attract only such men??

This is a common counseling question. Women who grew up under oppressive fathers tend to hook up with oppressive men. There might be better ways to express that. And it does get more complicated than that. But more often than not, there's a tie between unhealed relations between girls and fathers (and sometimes mothers, if they were oppressive) and their hooking up with men who treat her the way her father did.

There could be other reasons, but that is the most common.

Yep, and the question could also be asked, why do such men target such women? What do they see in the woman that that identifies them as such?

[humbleseeker]

Its terrible men want to live that way. Not to get to material, but I enjoy having my own money, car, and peronall freedom. I know we live in tough times, but realy from what I have been through and no, jobs are still out there.

[winsomebulldog]

The bible says a man who will not work (who is able to that is) shall not eat.

It sounds like the woman cant respect the man who has this laisse faire attitude about working. If she cannot respect him, then will the marriage work out? Its not about status or money. Its about even tolerating him for a serious character flaw. This is not a good way to start a marriage.

I was going to bring this verse up but you beat me to it!

[winsomebulldog]

Run as fast as you can.

i think you're asking the wrong question. instead of wondering if it is unchristian to NOT marry him, i'm wondering why any christian should want TO marry him.

He's a sponge . . . a user of others. Kick him to the curb.

Oh My.

Your comments are so on point! And this is without me even giving the details... that would have made you all even more horrified!! God be praised. This is confirmation.

Thank you!

The reason I asked about it being un-christian is because of the fact that as Christians we should look at the heart of people instead of looks and social status. But indeed, you all recognized the problem which was beyond finances. Finances are a symptom in this 37-year-old man of something even worse.

You're right about not focusing on the "outside," but what we see on the outside (especially in this case) is often a direct reflection of what's on the inside. That's why we're supposed to have "fruit." His fruit seems to reveal him to be lazy and perhaps deceitful as well, if he's claiming to be disabled when he actually isn't. Like others have said, she should get out while the gettin's good!

[winsomebulldog]

My girlfriend has more money than I do, and I still pay for most of what we do when we go out. No fair

Duh, don't you know. What's yours is hers and what's hers is hers