Hospis, God and me

[NewToChrist]

so i was in the hospital right and this doctor comes up and says youre going

into hospis care i cant do much for you anymore. i lay there like what just happened?!

i turn over grab my old bible and i hold it to my heart and i pray and i pray but

the next day i go into hospis care so i dont think god is listening...

i stay for 2 weeks and the 3rd week i just had enough yea i was puking blood

and the chemo just sucked as usual but i wasnt having this so i prayed again

but not little god help me prayers

i prayed big heavy chocodile tear prayers it was late monday

by that thursday i was doing a little better, just a little

by friday id stopped puking blood

and i got to come home again sunday allthough i go back to the hospital

later today and everyday until my doctor says

which is going to suck but i know god will keep me safe.

p.s- im watching news right now. a 5 year old girl was killed by her father with a knife lastnight from what the news is saying. please pray for her spirit and for her family, most of all her father..."Mark 10:14 ' suffer the little children who come unto me"

[nebula]

Hey there.

May I ask you something . . . odd? Please don't take this wrong.

My question is, why is it your desire to cling to this life?

Sure it's "natural" to want to live. But in your heart, why is it your desire to live?

If it is the Lord's desire to bring you home to Him, would that be so bad?

Paul said, "For me to live is Christ, but to die is gain."

Do you consider Christ your life? Do you consider death gain?

What if you were to gain health by singing praises to the Lord? Or what if you were to enter Heaven singing His praises?

I know being sick like this is painful (to put it nicely), so I don't want to come across sounding callous. I'm chronically ill myself - not life-threatening, but chronic nonetheless. So I do know how wearing and tearing it is to be constantly sick.

Ironically, I might find it easier to deal with it if was a sickness leading to death - because I'd be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (pun intended).

Perhaps the Lord will command your body to keep living. Perhaps not.

Can you trust Him in life or in death?

He does love you, you know.

[~Shalhevet~]

Hey there.

May I ask you something . . . odd? Please don't take this wrong.

My question is, why is it your desire to cling to this life?

Sure it's "natural" to want to live. But in your heart, why is it your desire to live?

If it is the Lord's desire to bring you home to Him, would that be so bad?

Paul said, "For me to live is Christ, but to die is gain."

Do you consider Christ your life? Do you consider death gain?

What if you were to gain health by singing praises to the Lord? Or what if you were to enter Heaven singing His praises?

I know being sick like this is painful (to put it nicely), so I don't want to come across sounding callous. I'm chronically ill myself - not life-threatening, but chronic nonetheless. So I do know how wearing and tearing it is to be constantly sick.

Ironically, I might find it easier to deal with it if was a sickness leading to death - because I'd be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (pun intended).

Perhaps the Lord will command your body to keep living. Perhaps not.

Can you trust Him in life or in death?

He does love you, you know.

Well said.

Praying for you, NTC.

[NewToChrist]

Hey there.

May I ask you something . . . odd? Please don't take this wrong.

My question is, why is it your desire to cling to this life?

Sure it's "natural" to want to live. But in your heart, why is it your desire to live?

If it is the Lord's desire to bring you home to Him, would that be so bad?

Paul said, "For me to live is Christ, but to die is gain."

Do you consider Christ your life? Do you consider death gain?

What if you were to gain health by singing praises to the Lord? Or what if you were to enter Heaven singing His praises?

I know being sick like this is painful (to put it nicely), so I don't want to come across sounding callous. I'm chronically ill myself - not life-threatening, but chronic nonetheless. So I do know how wearing and tearing it is to be constantly sick.

Ironically, I might find it easier to deal with it if was a sickness leading to death - because I'd be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (pun intended).

Perhaps the Lord will command your body to keep living. Perhaps not.

Can you trust Him in life or in death?

He does love you, you know.

i do consider death a gain. you dont know how many times i've tried to speed up the process by use of my own hands. i know he loves me but when my family is in danger specially my little brother im not gonna leave him and thats exactly what i prayed for. would i mind if god took me to his kingdom, no id willingly go, just not the last month or so. it was really hard for us and i wanted to make sure i was here and i prayed like crazy, but the bitter sweet side of that is i had to see 3 dear friends of mine pass away. i know the sacrifices and i count the blessings. what holds me here is my brother, that is it. once he can recognise god as a good thing completely and whole heartedly, that is the day i will finally be able to completely let go. until then everytime i get close to those gates i will pray and i will try to stay in this world for my brother.

[He giveth more grace]

"NewtoChrist", how new are you to Christ? I would love to read your testimony. I am glad you are out of Hospis and that you are better.

[ladypeartree]

praying with you for both your peace and comfort and for your brother

[nebula]

i do consider death a gain. you dont know how many times i've tried to speed up the process by use of my own hands. i know he loves me but when my family is in danger specially my little brother im not gonna leave him and thats exactly what i prayed for. would i mind if god took me to his kingdom, no id willingly go, just not the last month or so. it was really hard for us and i wanted to make sure i was here and i prayed like crazy, but the bitter sweet side of that is i had to see 3 dear friends of mine pass away. i know the sacrifices and i count the blessings. what holds me here is my brother, that is it. once he can recognise god as a good thing completely and whole heartedly, that is the day i will finally be able to completely let go. until then everytime i get close to those gates i will pray and i will try to stay in this world for my brother.

Thanks for sharing this side of the story. It helps to understand the struggle.

I don't know what's going on with your little brother, but I pray the presence of the Lord over him and his situation.

[Guest]

Amen!

Praying!

[mead]

so i was in the hospital right and this doctor comes up and says youre going

into hospis care i cant do much for you anymore. i lay there like what just happened?!

i turn over grab my old bible and i hold it to my heart and i pray and i pray but

the next day i go into hospis care so i dont think god is listening...

i stay for 2 weeks and the 3rd week i just had enough yea i was puking blood

and the chemo just sucked as usual but i wasnt having this so i prayed again

but not little god help me prayers

i prayed big heavy chocodile tear prayers it was late monday

by that thursday i was doing a little better, just a little

by friday id stopped puking blood

and i got to come home again sunday allthough i go back to the hospital

later today and everyday until my doctor says

which is going to suck but i know god will keep me safe.

p.s- im watching news right now. a 5 year old girl was killed by her father with a knife lastnight from what the news is saying. please pray for her spirit and for her family, most of all her father..."Mark 10:14 ' suffer the little children who come unto me"

[EricH]

May God be with you in real and tangible ways through this process.