Teenagers and sex

[darkest_red]

darkest red, you're right not all teenagers are like that, but a majority are.

My best friend growing up was a guy, and it's amazing, we NEVER had any romance between us.

From what I've seen of adults, the majority are just as bad as teenagers, some a lot worse. Out of all of my friends, the only ones who acted like the so called 'majority' of teenagers do are the ones who's parents acted like that themselves. In fact, in a discussion earlier with one of my friends, she was describing how she was openly discussing with her parents how she has friends that she uses purely for sex (this being a 17 year old) and her parents didn't discourage it and didn't even make any remark other than jokingly calling her a tart. They let her sleep with people in their own home and think nothing of it. What hope does someone like her have when the people who are supposed to be setting her an example almost encourage her by letting her do what she wants and with who she wants?

As for having a male friend as a best friend and not having any romance, that isn't all that unusual. My best friend for many years was male and nothing happened, in fact I have more male friends than female friends and the majority (present boyfriend excepted) have never been anything more than friends and I wouldn't (and have never) want them to be. Contrary to what a lot of people think, males and females can be just good friends.

[WayneB]

When all else fails, a good shotgun keeps the wolves away quite nicely!

t.

lol..now see, you sound just like my brother. On more than one occassion he has threatened guys who have liked me or "tried" stuff with me...haha. One time he came to pick me up after school and I was late coming out. But when I walked out the doors I saw him (my brother) coming across the schoolyard headed straight towards this boy and his friends who had flirted with me and made some very sexual comments towards me. Anywho..he looked like a gangster because he had just come from work and was wearing this dark suit and sunglasses...lol. He walks right up to the guy (it seemed like it was happening in slow motion), he stood right over him, took off his glasses, got right in his face and goes, "Never again. Nuff said?"...lolol. The boy just shook his head yes, his eyes were as big as baseballs he was so scared..it was hysterical!! We got in the car and busted out laughing. He never bothered me again though.

Tess, I like your brother a whole bunch!!!!

[Shelby]

Darkest,

I can see what you mean. But you know, I grew up with both of my parents being hippies. They are both free spirits who believe you should be able to do what you want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. BUT they were the parents. Luckily they instilled ALOT of confidence in me and set specific boundaries for me. Now the boundaries might not be what I would have set now that I am grown, but they did.

Just because there are adults who have unhealthy expectations and lifestyles doesn't negate a teen making their own decisions. I dont' drink, do drugs, have casual sex, etc. yet I saw all of this almost daily growing up. I always knew I had a choice though. You can only blame the parents so much.

BUT this isn't about the parent. We are talking specifically about this teen girl. Being that I have been one and can now look back on it, and that I counsel and spend alot time with many teen girls I also think that there are some A-Typical things about them. If they do not fit into the A type, then they are usually the exception to the rule. Plus atleast for me, I was speaking of girls who have already had sex. There are obvious signs and types that come into place. There are also specific techniques to help them gather themselves and get back on track.

You obviously have a good head on your shoulders and being that you are a virgin, then the type that I described doesn't fit you.

I hope you know this isn't about being a teen girl, this is a discussion on how to help one, and theories of how and why.

Thanks for your input. It is always nice to hear from the "horses mouth".

[Guest lindyp]

hmm

Number one priority I guess you just need to make sure she is safe ( used protection)

[ted]

...and can make a good pot of grits.

Always an essential.

t.

[FaithfulFollower]

hmm

Number one priority I guess you just need to make sure she is safe ( used protection)

Unfortunately I disagree with this.

Number one priority should be for her to know that her mother still loves her despite her mistakes. Also that God loves her as well despite her actions.

Of course there is no arguement that she should get tested and such to make certain that she is healthy as well as accounted for. Just love as well as compassion are very important should she come to feel any remorse or even guilt in this situation. Regardless, she needs to know she is loved.

With Love In Christ,

Danielle

[Kabowd]

hmm

Number one priority I guess you just need to make sure she is safe ( used protection)

"Protection" does not equal safety.

[stevehut]

First, let me ask- is your daughter a Christian?

Is this a serious question?

From what purpleflirp described, I'd say obviously not.

[stevehut]

hmm

Number one priority I guess you just need to make sure she is safe ( used protection)

?

As long as yer gonna sin, you might as well sin properly?

I think not.

[irishcowboy]

I think it's kind of unfair for people to press for statutory rape charges.. when both parties consented. This goes on someone's record, and sticks with them for life, when they didn't actually rape anyone. How would you feel if the parents of the boy involved (just as an example) pressed charges against your daughter for sleeping with their son? Regardless of their ages. It's an unfair thing. You rarely see the girl charged with anything, it's always the boy involved.

yes, both people concented..... how ever, even if both people are under aged, they both can be charged with it.... if one is under aged and one is not, then it should stand fast.....

that would be like anyone ( no matter what age) talking the other into it, and once they have consent, then going after it.....

some people have a way with words to really make some one else do just about anything..... whether they are a minor or not.....

i know of a pending case right now.... where a 16 year old was picked up for minor in possession of alcohol and tobacco, he received it from another boyt 17 years old, and he received it from another, that is 18, and he received it from some one else....

the 16 year old only has the two charges, the 17 year old has contributing to the delinquency ( two counts ) possession of ( both counts ) possession of drug paraphenalia ( rolling papers ) drunk driving, leaving the scene of an accident......

the 18 year old will have the charges of possession and contributing..... and the next person in the line who knows how far this will go.....

all they wanted to do was have some fun before school started this year.....

all those involved will have to stand on their own for this, the 16 year old is ready for the trial, with a guilty plea, the others are known for trying to passthe buck...

if the kids are running around behind the backs of their parents, they need to be held accountable for their actions..... it is better that it be done now, and put a stop to the inappropriate actions then later when they are facing life sentences, or facing drug rehab, or death, or disability while living in this state..... if they are not following the Lord, then they are not going to make it......

as far as the girls being charged.... i dont think there would be a boy around that would want to press charges.... most i know would be happy to be taken advantage of..... (unffortunately...... ) and there are some girls that do try.....

mike